Reconciliation

Earlier this week I wrote about moving past anger. Here is an important reason why we should:

2 Corinthians 5:18-19 (NIV)--All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

We can not be part of a message of reconciliation if we are unwilling to do that in our own lives. It's hard folks, I know. The message Jesus brought to this earth is not an easy one to follow. Our sinful natures push back against it all the time. When we are angry with someone, we want revenge, we want an apology, we want a concession that we were right and the other person was wrong.

That is not a part of Jesus message to us. We are charged with seeking reconciliation in this world, not just to people who are nice to us or those who have hurt us and apologized. We need to take the lead in forgiveness, extend our hand, and open our heart to that individual.

Sometimes we suck it up and do this and don't receive the type of response we feel is deserved, then go away madder than ever. Jesus showed us by his very life that we should follow God's commands without expecting earthly reward. After all, how was he rewarded by man for the healing and miracles he performed in his time on earth?

Over the last few months, I reached out to two friends who I had issues with that caused us to stop communicating with each other. One of them, a very close friend from high school, reciprocated and healing has taken place without either one extracting a pound of flesh from the other. The other friend, who I knew through my late wife, initially responded well to my oveture but then drifted away again. After a couple of additional attempts to reestablish contact, I resigned myself to the fact that he was not ready to reestablish our friendship. I was saddened, but at peace because I had done what my heart had led me to do.

In both situations, I sought the will of the Holy Spirit and felt led to make the move toward healing. I'm glad I did with both people despite success with only one. A complete reconciliation with someone takes the willing and active participation of BOTH people. We can only do our part, but that's better than waiting on the other person.

As Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians, God has committed us to a message of reconciliation. If we are seeking his will in our lives, we need to seek it in every area.

This Message Is International

Thanks to a link from the Rainbow Ark Live Journal (check my list of links out to visit their site), this blog received a recent spike in international visitors, especially from Asia. Welcome!

When I began this blog on 6/20/05, it never occurred to me that I would receive many visitors from beyond the borders of the United States. Instead, readers have visited Straight, Not Narrow from 38 different nations! Just one of the many things I have learned during this process; the message of Jesus' love and inclusion is one that people hunger to hear all over the world.

I thank the sites based in France and Singapore that have posted links to Straight, Not Narrow. I'm glad you have found the material here worthwhile. As I add posts, I'll try whenever possible to view issues from a global perspective.

There are many false prophets spread out all over the world that would have people believe God hates them because of their ethnicity, social status, or sexual orientation. If you really know Jesus and don't filter his message through your own prejudices, it becomes clear that is not God's message.

Hate and exclusion are the message of the enemy. Love and inclusion is truly the heart of Jesus, and that's what you will find here. Thanks again for taking time to visit wherever in the world you might be. Please feel free to post a comment or e-mail me directly at straight_notnarrow@yahoo. The only restriction is that it must be in English--I do not have the gift of language.

Moving Past Anger

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20

Yeah, yeah, I know--those words are easy to repeat but hard to put in practice. After all, if I knew what (fill in the blank) did to you, I would understand your anger and feel the same way myself.

What do we accomplish when we have anger built up inside our hearts? Possibly shorten our lives, for one thing, but definately diminish the quality of it. That's right, WE'RE the ones that get hurt when WE let anger become a part of who we are. When we look at the world through the filter of negativism, we don't make anyone more unhappy than ourselves. There are plenty of times in our lives when the target of our anger doesn't even realize we're upset! They can go about their lives as if nothing is wrong and we're the ones carrying the extra weight around.

We can't hear this message too often because it is too easy to let anger build up inside of ourselves and take away from whatever good we have in our lives. Even worse, it gets in the way of our relationship with God. Can we really open our hearts and minds to the Holy Spirit if we're pissed off at our spouse/family/friends? No, because the noise of that anger will drown out what the Lord would tell us. He wants us to be still and listen--have you ever tried that if you're really agitated or your heart is just seething with anger? It just doesn't work.

I'm directing this to myself along with you the reader. I've had plenty of anger at people in my life, and I've held some of it for years until I realized I was the only one being hurt by it. Thanks to the work the Holy Spirit has done in my life over the past year, I've been able to let go of most of those bad feelings--it's still a work in progress.

I'm also sure that many of the readers of this blog have dealt with horriffic situations I have only heard or read about and never personnally experienced. I empathize with just how deeply some scars can run and how difficult they are to heal. They won't just go away, though, they need healing action taken to them. Talking to the person you are angry with can be a wonderful blessing. We have recently had some of those experiences at my church, and they have enriched the whole congregation.

Regardless of how deeply you have been hurt, the Holy Spirit can bring you through to the other side where you can know true peace and joy. That is available, free of charge, to every man and woman, regardless of denomination, race, or sexual orientation.

If you would like to speak to a minister or just have the prayer support of a congregation help you through to the other side of anger, you can contact Believers' Covenant Fellowship at http://www.imabeliever.ws/home.cfm. I'll warn you, if you ask our church for prayer, you need to be ready for it to be answered because we have some amazing prayer warriors there. If you would be more comfortable speaking with a lay person, you can contact me by e-mail at straight_notnarrow@yahoo.com.

There is far too much anger in our world today. Let's do what we can as individuals to change that.

The "Threat" of Same-Sex Marriage

If you think there's been a lot of focus in recent months on the issue of gay marriage, just wait. The fire is just getting warm and is sure to burn right through the 2006 elections. The latest chapter of this story was Wednesday's approval of a measure to establish a U. S. constitutional amendment baning gay marriage by the Senate's Judiciary subcommittee on the Constitution. Ironically, the measure is named the "Marriage Protection Amendment."

I must once again ask who exactly are conservatives working so hard to protect? As a straight man only days away from getting married myself, I don't feel the least bit threatened by any same-sex couples that would like to do the same (unless they invite us to the wedding and want an expensive gift). If anything, my impending nuptuals make me even MORE supportive of their right to marry, to experience the joy and fulfillment of making not only an emotional committment but a legal one to the person we love most in the world. I see couples in my own church who are in long-term committed loving relationships that should have every bit as much right as I do to be recognized as legal spouses.

How exactly would the right of men to leagally marry men or women to legally marry women diminish my marriage to a woman? Going back to the early days of this nation, there has always been a faction who felt threatened by the granting of rights to anyone not quite like them, feeling that it would diminish their stature, their power, whatever.

At one point in our history, blacks did not have the right to be educated, own land, and vote. Women didn't gain the right to vote until early in the 20th century, when the U. S. was well over 125 years old. Arguements were made back in the day about how these restrictions were needed to protect society. We now hear those same justifications to support not legally recognizing same-sex marriage.

Despite the loud and well financed message of the anti-gay conservatives, I feel this too will pass just like other restrictions have fallen by the wayside over the decades and centuries. Despite the efforts of these right-wingers to hold us back, society gradually becomes more enlightened as time moves forward.

After all, Jesus' message was about unconditional love. Let's put our effort on promoting love. One way of doing that is encouraging people that love each other to make the firmest committment possible to each other.

Is This Fight REALLY Worth the Cost?

As I read about the results of various state and local election ballot questions the last couple of days, I was again struck by how many pertained to the issue of same-sex marriage. Knowing how out of control political campaigns can get, I did a quick Google on the words "cost, same-sex, and marriage." The first story I came up with was about an election last year in Ohio. The report in The Gay People's Chronicle in Cleveland was an investigate piece detailing where the contributions came from to support the group campaigning against same-sex marriage.

Without going into great detail here (it's all in the report), I can sumarize it by telling you that most of the money, not surprisingly, was contributed by religious, fundamentalist orgainzations to the tune of well over a million dollars.

How many people could have been fed with that money? How many poor children could have been clothed with that money? How many sick people without insurance could have received medical attention with that money? How many homeless people could have received shelter and perhaps even some vocational training with that money?

How would Jesus have wanted those funds, and the many millions spent all over the USA, to be used? Would he have wanted organizations allegedly acting in his name to wage a political campaign, or help those who are cold, hungry, and sick? Just a quick glance through the New Testament answers that question very clearly.

Perhaps some "christian based" organizations need to spend a little time reading their bible before allocating their resources.

Expressing and Teaching the Wrong Message

Thanks to 365gay.com, I ran across another one of those really troubling stories that I felt obligated to comment on. There was an anti-gay protest in Bloomington, Indiana that, although it did not involve thousands of people, demonstarted two very disturbing views.

As reported by the Indiana University student newspaper "The Daily Student," the group was comprised of about 25 members of the Old Paths Baptist Church. They gathered on the IU campus to begin their demonstration, them moved on to a gay-owned store called "The Inner Chef," and burned a gay pride flag.

One of the chants the group shouted in front of the store, according to the report, was "Fags Die, God Laughs." I only wish I was making up such twisted, sacreligious behavior. I challenge anyone to find one single example in the bible where God showed any pleasure at ANYONE perishing. There are plenty of situations in the Old Testament where He wiped out large numbers of people for going against his will, but the part where God laughed, smiled, or was anything but saddened by it didn't make it into any translation I've ever seen.

Perhaps the most basic principle of Christianity is that God LOVES us. He doesn't always like us when we drift away from his will for our lives, that's for sure, but he NEVER stops loving us. He is the epitome of unconditional love. In that light, hearing of a group proclaiming itself christian shouting what these protesters did in Indiana makes me sick to my stomach.

The other part of this story that troubles me even more was where it was reported that the demonstration was "complete with children playing instruments and singing songs beside the sign-weilding adults."

What ARE we teaching our children? This group is teaching them how to hate, and to do it in God's name. Sadly, there are situations where hate IS a family value.

Why I Am An Activist

This is the first time I have used that word to describe myself. Here's one reason I am.

It never ceases to amaze me how hateful and deceitful people can be in the name of God or "family values."

What is most troubling is how loud some of these voices are. That's why voices of love and inclusion must speak up. If we are not heard, then the only message people will hear is that of hate and exclusion. I'm not willing to have that happen, and I hope you aren't either.

"Promoting Homosexuality"

The title to this post is one of those phrases that makes me afraid I'm going to burst a blood vessel. The latest reference I saw to it was this news item from the Southern Baptist Convention of Texas, a group not known for their open minds. They unanimously passed a resolution encouraging parents to investigate whether the public schools in their areas are...wait for it...promoting homosexuality!

How does one go about promoting that in schools. Do they set up recruiting booths with women in leather boots and chains and men wearing pink chiffon handling out pamphlets? Hardly. Do activists walk up to students and say, "Hey, have you ever tried having sex with someone of the same gender? It's great!" Of course not.

What some school systems have the nerve to place in their cirriculum is a presentation of what homosexualtiy is. Since the teachings do not include an outright condemnation, there are fundamentalits like the SBC that get hysterical and act like the schools are encouraging their kids to be gay. How ridiculous! How narrow-minded!

What some school systems are valiantly attempting to teach regarding homosexuality is acceptance of someone different. You don't have to be gay to get abused in school--kids can be a very tough crowd--but it sure helps attract negative attention from students that don't know better. Some schools try to make sure that they DO know better. Unfortunately, this lesson of acceptance and inclusion can conflict with what they are being taught at home and in their church.

Some people can't stand the thought of their kids being smarter and more open-minded than they are. What a shame!

The Burden of Proof

If you can't absolutely prove something is true, then it must be false! That's one of the arguements anti-gay groups and activists put out there to support their view of the evil attached to homosexuality. What, you can't prove absolutely beyond the shadow of a doubt that being gay is something which is determined genetically? Then it MUST be a choice--a sinful, evil choice.

Now anyone who gives that more than about two second of thought should realize the falicy of that "logic."

What if a GLBT person insisted that one of these far-right fundamentalists PROVE they were saved, that they were filled with the Holy Spirit? They couldn't do it. It can't be scientifically proven that a person has received the gifts of the Spirit.

That's where faith comes in. In the Bible, Hebrews 11:1 (NIV) says, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." That's really one of the main principles of Christianity, isn't it?

Unfortunately, though, there are "Christians" who won't apply the principle of believing what can not be seen (or scientifically proven) to something they don't want to believe. Even worse, they pass judgement on those who don't comply, assuming the right God has very clearly stated is reserved for Him and Him alone. With this kind of un-Christlike attitude, I believe if anyone would have something to prove, it would be fundamentalists who focus more on playing God than being like him.

Methodists Reject Lesbian Minister

In a widely reported story, the highest court of the United Methodist Church recently defrocked an openly lesbian minister. At the same time, they reinstated a minister suspended for banning a gay man from his congregation.

I find both of these rulings misguided, but there is one important point to make in support of them. I think it is critical that religious denominations be consistent in the administration of the beliefs they have stated as a corporate body. Therefore, if their policies state that lesbians are not allowed to become ministers, they have the right to enforce it. After all, there are denominations that won't allow women, regardless of sexual orientation, to be ordained or serve in other leadeship roles.

Similarly, if their rules allow pastors discretion over the congreations, something that seems very dangerous to me, then the governing body must uphold decisions made under those rules.

I join many christians, both straight and gay, in condemning those rules, as is my right. Members of denominations with rules that restrict (or potentially prevent) the level of participation have three choices; sit and do nothing, leave the denomination, or stay and fight for change within the system.

I know many christians chose the first option, often because they were raised in a certain church and don't feel comfortable either pushing for a fundamental change in the church's beliefs or leaving altogether. I don't have data to back this up, but I strongly suspect this is a critical factor in allowing such conservative policies to stay in place in many large denominations.

I chose the second option myself. I was raised Southern Baptist and converted to Catholocism, but now happily worship at an independent, GLBT-affirming congregation. At Believers' Covenant Fellowship, we are committed to reaching out to the GLBT community and let them know that God's love and salvation is available to them, regardless of what they have been taught over the years.

The defrocked minister, Irene Elizabeth Stroud, has chosen the third option and will stay with her congregation in Philadelphia as a lay pastor. She told the New York Times, "I, like many people, will stay and fight. I think these decisions are another step in a journey, and one day the church will receive gay and lesbian people into ministry."

My prayers and those of my church are with you, Ms. Stroud, and those like you.

Follow Him

The book of Matthew gives us another very clear example of how Jesus wants us to lead our lives. Jesus had healed a paralyzed man in Capernaum and came across a tax collector. In Jesus' time, tax collectors were even more despised than they are now. This entire area was under Roman control, and they stationed tax collectors in every town to make sure people paid proper homage to the Emperor. These men, who were above any local laws, often charged more than was actually due and pocketed the excess profit.

Jesus saw one of these loathed officials, a man named Matthew. In Matthew 9:9, he writes, "As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. 'Follow me,' he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

Please take note that he did not go home and ask his wife if it was okay, he didn't give Rome two weeks notice, he didn't say, "I'll do that after football season is over." Matthew did none of that. He immediately realized just who it was calling him, and he answered in a decisive and immediate manner. Talk about stepping out in faith!

Jesus is calling all of us to serve him in ways appropriate to the gifts he has blessed us with. In my own life, I have often been guilty of putting off that call because of going to school, pressures at work, financial difficulties, and extra demands because of a partially disabled wife. I kept God at arms' length (unless I needed something, of course) for many years, and I was the poorer for it. Once my wife passed away and my life was stripped down to its basics, I heard Him still calling, and I finally listened. This blog is but one manifestation of doing the work He has equipped me to do, and I am being blessed by it.

I have grown to understand some of the additional difficulties members of the GLBT community have in reaching this point, often torn between a partner who is not listening to Jesus' call, estranged from some if not all of their family who are unable to accept them as they are, and shunned by the very church they would want to join.

Jesus never said following him would be easy, but He also assured us he wound never ask us to do anything we were not equipped to do. He also told us in Matthew 19:19 "Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or childern or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life."

We need to remove the obstacles keeping us from serving Jesus. Ultimately, we are the very ones who will benefit the most from doing so.

Take care of your own speck

As I am reading through the book of Matthew again, I have been reminded of several important principles Jesus spoke of in his ministry that I feel are very applicable to the mission of this blog.

In Chapter 7, during his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus spoke passionately about people being careful not to judge one another. Beginning in verse 3 (NIV), he said "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

Jesus wasn't being very subtle with this particular message, was he? It was about as subtle as getting hit with a 2 x 4 plank. It is very clear that He expects us to look inside ourselves first before we move forward with saving humanity.

Going around and telling others where they come up short is easy, isn't it? There are certainly no shortage of people willing to do so, that's for sure. Closely examining that face staring back at us in the mirror in the morning, now that's tough.

Jesus is the only person who has ever walked the earth with the moral authority to pass judgement on anyone. If someone in our lives is judging us because of our religious affiliation or sexual orientation, there's a good chance that they have their own issues to resolve with God.

My experience has taught me that the ones yelling the loudest about the spec they see in our eyes are often the people with the biggest planks in theirs.

One Person Learns to Unlearn

On his blog "Two World Collision", Eric talks about his struggle to unlearn the teaching and condemnation of his church becuase he is gay. He is now actively embracing both his christianity and homosexuality, an act many fundamentalists preach is a contradiciton.

The point I like the most that Eric writes about is the individual relationship he is developing with God. Eric is discerning Gods word through his own mind and heart, not that of a religious leader. Ultimately, that is what we all need to do.

Exposing ourselves to heatlhy portions of teaching and preaching is most beneficial when we take those lessons or thoughts or beliefs into our own prayer time and discern what they mean to ourselves as an indivdual person.

It matters only what God wants in your life, not what a preacher wants you to be. Hopefully we can all find a church where the messages match up and are not in conflict.

Choices

When I woke up this morning, I made a number of choices. I decided to get up early and check e-mail. I chose to feed the cat and play with him. I stopped for breakfast on my way to work. I made those and numerous other decisions before the sun was fully over the horizon today.

I did not decide that today I would be a heterosexual. In fact, I've never made that choice. Even before puberty descended upon me, I was attracted to cute girls, and that has never changed. It just came naturally.

I was fortunate that, with the occasional objection of an object of my desire, this "lifestyle" was not condemned by anyone. I've never heard a preacher tell me I was a sinner because I was a practicing heterosexual, and I've yet to endure a politician drone on about legislation that would deny me the right to marry someone of the opposite sex. As a result, I've never struggled with my sexuality--nobody every told me my natural desires were wrong, and I've always felt free and unencumbered to express and explore them.

If I had grown up in a home where I was raised by two gay men or two lesbians who railed against heterosexual relationships and told me how dirty and sinful they were, I very well could have run into some serious issues. Low self esteem and sexual confusion would have been among the likely possibilities.

If religious leaders had condemned my desires for women, I probably would have pulled away from God, not feeling myself worthy of his love because of what a dirty, rotten sinner I was at heart. I may have even felt no other choice but to find a nice man to settle down with if I wanted love and companionship within socially accepted parameters.

If I had "come out" as a heterosexual, then renounced it so I could marry someone my church and state found was of an acceptable gender, I would be a "cured" or "delivered" heterosexual, even if the desires were still burning inside me.

If, like me, you are a practicing heterosexual, try to imagine this having happened to you. Pretty horrible picture, isn't it? Then why do so many of our churches and politicians insist on putting gay and lesbian people through this type of living hell? What good can come of a person denying who he or she is and allow themselves to be reformed according to someone else's idea of who they should be? Why do so many people allow themselves to be swayed by statements and beliefs rooted in ignorance?

Fortunately, we can trust God to sort it out in the end.

The KKK and "Christian Family Values"

A while back I wrote about how branches of the KKK are entering into anti-gay activism, and here is another example. On Saturday, November 5, the KKK will hold a rally in Austin, Texas to get voters to vote against gay marriage. The kicker to this story is this quote from the e-mail they sent to ask permission to stage this rally; "We just want to come and encourage people to vote for Christian Family Values."

It is not reported what, if any, group has recruited the KKK to "help out" with their special type of rally. As a Christian, I would instantly lose respect for any religious organization/church that is involved in this campaign that does not clearly and loudly disavow themselves from the KKK. Rational christians can disagree on this issue, but anyone who welcome the KKK to their side of a debate is no longer able to claim that ground.

What Are They Afraid Of?

I saw a story regarding one high school's activity during the recent "Coming Out Week." The Gay-Straight Alliance at Pikesville High School, in my home state of Maryland, encouraged straight students to wear pink in support of their gay classmates. Some parents were up in arms about this and protested at the school, making this newsworthy.

The report, which I found on the Christian Broadcasting Network's web site (Pat Robertson's organization), refers to this action as "supporting the homosexual agenda." Honestly, every time I see this phrase used I'm afraid blood vessels in my brain will burst!

What exactly is the gay agenda? To have the same rights as their straight counterparts? To have the same opportunities to express their love for their partners that straight people do? To not be discriminated against in the job market and workplace because of their sexual orientation? To not be ostracized or the subject of hatred by the body of Christ?

That would make "the homosexual agenda" the desire of gays and lesbians to be treated with the same respect and have the same rights as a straight person. These are not "special rights" as some antagonists like to call them. These are guarantees the LGBT community need to protect their rights as an American citizen, the very rights this nation was founded upon.

Sounds pretty reasonable to me. As great as this country is in many ways, however, it has a long history of holding down minority groups, who emerge from that only after a long, hard struggle. It seems like one of the favorite targets in today's society are gays, primarily because they have the nerve to be different and because a lot of straight people have no understanding about what makes them tick.

So what are people afraid of? In this case, what they don't undestand. Unfortunately, too many people find it easier to discriminate against the LGBT community instead of educating themselves. It's okay to come in contact with them, folks, you won't catch it.

Listen

That seems to be a lost art in our society, listening. People are often too busy trying to convince someone that their point of view is right that we don't make any effort to consider what the other person or people are saying.

This also applies to prayer. It is easy, especially if we lead a very busy life, to talk to God (isn't that the essence of prayer?) and get on with the next task on our long list of things to do. We often don't take time to be still and give Him a chance to respond.

I had a great experience doing just that last night. The leadership of our church met at our new facility, still strewn with construction debris, lights dangling from the unfinished ceiling, and no functioning toilets. After opening with corporate prayer, Apostle Dale was led to direct each of us to pray about a specific area of our church's ministry. We then came back together and shared what God has told us regarding those prayers. It was some truly exciting stuff!

I'm still new at some of this, and I felt the Lord touch me in a way that I could not remember happening before. As I talked with Him about what we needed to reach the lost (the area I had been asked to cover with my prayer), I stopped several times and soaked in whatever the Holy Spirit would send me.

I stood there by myself in the shell of our upstairs office area with only the light from the parking lot providing any illumination. What I saw, though, was Apostle Dale's office, very tastefully appointed, with him sitting there providing guidance and leadership as per his Apostolic calling. I saw myself and others leading small groups in the meeting room, teaching and reaching out to people, helping them open their hearts and minds to be filled with the Spirit.
I've never heard "The Voice of God," but I never felt his presence more than I did last night. He showed me part of his plans for how he would answer my prayers and gave me not only encouragement to stay the course but also emboldened me to give even more of myself to His ministry.

I listened and I received answers. If you are praying without ceasing, you may need to stop long enough to give God time enough to answer them. Praying is a form of communication, and any type of communication is only effective if it is two-way.

The Bible is Not a Play By Play Report

If you gather a group of people together to watch a football game or a movie and ask them to write a summary, it is very unlikely that you will see two write-ups that are the same. Even though there is only one set of facts, it is human nature to filter events through our own set of values and perspective.

In summarizing the game, some would talk about the defense, others would focus on the offense. While reviewing the movie, there are those who would write about the cinematography and others that would give their views on the story line.

It is important to remember that, although the words in the Bible were inspired by God, they were written by human beings. Recently, the Catholic Church published a teaching document including instructions that some parts of the Bible are not literally true.

A key quote from the document, as reported by the London Times, states "We should not expect to find in Scripture full scientific accuracy or complete historical precision."

To put this in some perspective, admittedly mine, there are some fundamentalits that will practically fight to the death to defend the idea that Creation actually occurred in six calendar days, ignoring the wealth of scientific evidence to the contrary. Are details like that really important? Not if you're reading the Bible to seek God's will for your life instead of using it like a textbook.

God's word will not lead you to him like a set of directions to put together a bookcase. You know, insert screw A into slot B. It doesn't work like that. There are fundamentalists who swear by their literal interpretation, in my opinion, because it's easy and they don't have to open their hearts and minds.

There are people with whom I have interacted regarding the editorial content of this site who quote scriptures to point out how I am misguided and how homosexuals are sinners. When I come back with the fact that I have seen gay men and lesbian women who have been blessed with the gift of the Holy Spirit, they have no answer for that. It gets them out of their comfort zone where they answer everything by quoting scripture.

Don't get me wrong, the Bible is of course the most important book ever written. It contains wisdom well beyond what we as mere humans can understand and the writers could communicate in its full meaning. The Bible as I have come to understand it is a tool that teaches us important concepts about how to live our lives and be more like Jesus. It also teaches us how to grow closer to Him. When we do that, he fills us with the Holy Spirit and it is that Spirit which guides us through our lives.

The rest is just details which, if we are not careful, can take us AWAY from the Lord, particularly if people professing to be christians fight over them.

Equipping the Church to Evangelize and Disciple the Homosexual

That is the mission statement of an organization called "Cross Ministry," founded by an evangelist named Tim Wilkins. He tells a harrowing story of his childhood and a terrible home situation and details how his anger at his father led him to reject masculinity and embrace homosexuality.

After graduating from seminary, Wilkins talks about how he stayed celibate for years and was finally led to met a woman who he later married and now lives a happily heterosexual lifestyle. God bless him for opening himself up to the healing power of the Lord and emerging through the pain and heartbreak of his youth.

Now Wilkins, through his ministry, wants to deliver ALL homosexuals from their lifestyle, believing it is sinful back even when he was leading it himself. He means well.

What is they say about good intentions? Could Wilkins have mistaken deep psychological scaring as a young man for TRUE same-sex attraction, not being born with but developing it out of rebellion or escape or whatever his damaged psyche was processing? Could be, and there can be little doubt there are people out there with similar experiences that Cross Ministry could be of great benefit to.

There are many others, however, who are attracted to people of the same gender not because of psychological trauma but natural instincts. Cross Ministry is merely one of a growing number of "Ex-Gay" organizations that are trying to "free people from their homosexual desires." In other words, these ministries are determined to make a gay or lesbian person into someone who can totally subjicate their natural desires and follow the path that the ministry believes God wants them to. The blog "Ex-Gay Watch" covers this issues in great depth and is an excellent resource if you care to read more about this issue.

In one of the recent postings on the ministry's website, Wilkins writes about the arguement that Jesus did not directly address homosexuality, therefore he cannot be considered to have condenmed it. He correctly points out that, of course, not every word Jesus said was recorded, so maybe he did actually get around to speaking out about that lifestyle and those words just didn't make the cut in the Bible. That could very well be true, but Wilkins neglects the fact that Scriptures are inspired by the Holy Spirit, so if Jesus did speak about homosexuality, God determined it was not significant enough to include in the Bible. I'm content to trust God's judgement on that one.

Wilkins also says that, since Jesus spoke out about "child molestation, domestic abuse, or rape," then certainly he would have condemned homosexuality. Do people who make statements like this ever go back and realize how misguided they are? There is an enormous diference between the sins he lists and homosexuality--the sins are where someone forces their will upon another person. Homosexual acts are between two consenting adults, and I have seen monogomous, loving same-sex relationships flourish with God's blessings within our church.

I hope God will bless organizations like Cross Ministry as they reach people who are confused about their sexual identity and lead them to seek the Lord's guidance to resolve that question. For individuals who find out they are gay or lesbian, I pray that they are delivered from an "Ex-Gay" ministry without any lasting psychological damage.

October 11, 2004

A day can come along without warning that suddenly changes the course of our lives. October 11, 2004 was mine--the day my beloved wife Bette (pronounced Betty) left this world and our home in Maryland and was taken up to heaven.

As with most life changing events, this came as a complete surprise. Bette had struggled with her health and been in constant pain for several years. She had been feeling better in recent days, though, and she was excited about our plans to move into a new home at the end of October. The main limitation Bette still faced was her stamina—she got tired and out of breath very easily.

She had a flare up on October 10 and needed to take some of her pain medication. This resulted in Bette sleeping most of the day while I watched football. She enjoyed the first half of that evening’s Redskins-Ravens game with me before heading to bed. I stayed up to watch our favorite team, the Ravens, win before I retired for the night.

When I climbed into bed, Bette asked, "Did we win?" I answered, "Yep, we sure did." "Good," she said, "I love you" and then rolled back over. I responded, "I love you too baby girl. Good night." Bette was in a very sound sleep when I left for work that morning, not unusual since our body clocks were different and she was physically unable to work. I kissed her goodbye and headed out to begin my commute.

I felt very good about life that morning. The prior few months had been the best of our marriage. We had endured some very stressful times in recent years, but most of that was behind us. We were able to enjoy some excellent quality time with each other and looked forward to many more years of the same.

Bette never woke up, passing away sometime during the afternoon of October 11. Her heart, under such strain because of her physical problems, finally gave out. When I found her body that afternoon, she was snuggled up in a very comfortable position. She obviously felt no pain and drifted off to heaven very peacefully. She had passed from this existence more excited and hopeful about the future than she had ever been. We should all be so fortunate. Bette did not have to endure those hopes and dreams being dashed because of yet more physical limitations brought on by a weak, tired heart.

Every couple likes to tell you that they share a love like no other, but we actually did. Nothing was more important to me than my Bette, and nothing came ahead of her Jimmy. Everything was better when we were together and nothing was quite as good when we were apart. We never needed a "break" from each other. During our final spring and summer together, our favorite activity was simply holding each other and savoring the amazing level of intimacy we shared.

I learned so much about what it means to be a man, a partner, a husband, and a lover from Bette. She never fully realized the depth of her wisdom. Bette knew when to give me a hug and when to apply a swift kick in my pants. She taught me how to take responsibility for my life and not to hide behind blaming others for my shortcomings. Bette was one of the strongest people I have ever known. She gave me the strength to try new things, most of all writing.

Bette believed in my writing long before I ever did. We sat in a department store cafeteria one night talking, and she kept prodding me with the question "What do you really want to do?" When I finally answered writing, she nodded, having already known that herself. She knew me so much better than I knew myself.

As I began the sportswriting part of my career, she was my editor. As Bette read more about basketball and football, she learned about the games and grew to enjoy watching them with me. Two of the highlights of our time together were sharing the Ravens’ Super Bowl victory and especially The University of Maryland’s NCAA basketball championship.

Most of all, Bette taught me unconditional love. I had never received that from anyone. My mother loved me tremendously, but always pointed out how I had to "earn" that in her eyes or else she would withhold it. Bette taught me how to receive love unconditionally, and it became very easy for me to love her in that manner.

I could never have asked for a partner more devoted or that could love me more completely. Now, twelve years to the day after I met her, she was gone and I felt very much alone.

I have learned a lot about myself and about life in general in the last year, and the first enlightenment I received was that I was far from alone. My best friend Robin showed up at my apartment later that evening and stayed until well past midnight. Bette’s family in Illinois was extremely supportive and did most of the work setting up her memorial service out there.

My friend Brian joined Robin at my place the next evening, both of them putting aside very hectic schedules to do so. My brother Michael and brother-in-law Mike drove down from Rochester, New York, and stayed with me until I left for Illinois, then made the trip out and back with me. My coworkers at BAE Systems were extremely supportive. I was NOT alone, and I learned to take advantage of the offers people made to help me, something I had never been good at before. I had always viewed that as a sign of weakness, but I now felt very weak.

God gave me the right words to say at the memorial service the following Saturday, held at the gravesite of Bette’s parents she had missed so much. The outpouring of love from her friends and family in Illinois would have touched her deeply, as it touched me. Many tears were shed that day, especially by me. Bette had taught me long ago I could cry and still be a strong man. I even saw Robin, who flew out from Maryland for the service, shed a tear for the first time in the 34 years I had known him.

Much to my surprise, the sun came up on October 12 and has every day since then. There is a certain liberation I felt after realizing the worst thing that could possibly happen to me occurred; yet I was still standing. There has been a lot of pain over the last year, but I continue to have plenty of help dealing with and moving beyond it.

My friends and family (including those in Illinois) and my grief therapist Tom Golden have been invaluable in leading me forward in my life, as has my church family at Believers’ Covenant Fellowship. Apostle Dale Jarrett has quickly become a wonderful source of spiritual wisdom and a trusted friend. Then there is Brenda, who I will write about in a few weeks. I will just say for now she is amazing, an angel God provided to lead me into this next phase of my life and help make it the best yet.

I write this today, on the first anniversary of Bette’s passing, to thank those who have stepped up over the last year, and to have a written record of what a wonderful, loving, and giving person Bette was. She accomplished many things as a social worker and activist in Illinois during the 1980’s and helped many people improve the quality of their lives. As I have detailed above, though, the person she had the most positive lasting impact on was myself. Anything I may accomplish going forward will be partially due to her influence on my life.

I wish I could build a memorial to Bette or name a building or a charitable organization after her so there would be some tangible lasting evidence on earth of who she was and what she did with her life. At this time, however, all I have are these words to share with you. I hope they have succeeded in shedding some light on the truly wonderful loving, giving woman Elizabeth Marie Johnson (Steward) was.

The twelve years Bette and I had together did not seem like nearly enough time, and there were a lot of things we never got around to doing. Rather than feel regret for what was left undone, I rejoice in the love and time we did share. Less than three weeks before she passed away, Bette wrote me a note that included this quote: "I will cherish all the memories we have made for all eternity." Likewise, my darling.

I thank God for those twelve years and for the opportunities that lay ahead.

I thank you for taking the time to read this and learn about my beloved Bette.

God Loves Heterosexuals Too

I ran across a website called "Rainbow Revival" that contained a quote I found thought-provoking and funny at the same time.

The site quotes Lynn Lavner, a lesbian comic: "The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."

After you stop laughing, think about that for a minute. Hmmm.

Press On

Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV) "…..Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

These words were written by the Apostle Paul to the church at Philippi, the first Christian church established in Europe. Paul wrote this letter while he was imprisoned in Rome.

If anyone ever had a reason to leave his past behind, it was the Apostle Paul. Originally known as Saul, he was one of the main persecutors of the first Christians. Paul changed his ways after receiving a vision from God (known as a "Damascus Road" experience).

It would have been easy for Paul to wallow in guilt for the atrocities he had perpetrated upon those who followed Jesus. It is not hard to imagine someone in his position being so consumed by his remorse that he would be paralyzed and of little good to anyone.

When Paul received the Holy Spirit, however, he found the strength to move beyond that and become focused on the goals that lay ahead. God had granted him an opportunity to atone for his misdeeds many times over, and Paul was wise and strong enough to become one of the first evangelists.

All of us, straight or GLBT, have things in our past we regret. There could be decisions we made that resulted in very negative consequences for us, and also our loved ones. There could be acts of gratuitous pleasure and indulgence that left us wracked with guilt and self-loathing. It could be that there are goals we set our sights on and fell short, leaving our self-worth damaged.

In the scripture passage, I’m sure Paul did not mean to literally forget those types of experiences—how can we without hypnosis or amnesia. We also hopefully learned some valuable lessons from the mistakes and/or sins we committed that were critical in personal growth and making us more valuable servants to Jesus.

No, an effective way to apply this idea is to not dwell on the bad, the sinful, and the failure in our lives. Instead, take the lessons learned and apply those to opportunities we will have in the future. Just as important here is to actively seek out people to help, a church in which to serve and as the base of it all establish and nourish your personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

As I will expound on in a later post, God is always with us, even when we are sinning, when we are using poor judgment, and when we fall short. That often happens because we are not seeking his will. Instead, we are indulging our earthly desires or seeking the approval of another person instead of Jesus.

When we pray about what we are doing, read His word to learn more about the principles by which He wants us to live, and seek His will first in our lives, good things will happen. We can’t effectively do that if our focus is on how we screwed up our lives and that of others. It needs to be on how we can use our gifts to serve him going forward and by doing that help others.

Jesus died on the cross as payment for our sins. What that means to us is if we accept Him as our Lord and Savior and ask him to forgive our sins, he will. He will also help us forgive ourselves. I know in my life, that, in some areas, is still a work in progress. I also know that Jesus has performed some amazing work inside my heart and soul in the past year since I’ve been more actively seeking Him, and He strongly desires to do the same for you.

In this blog, you will see more posts where I take scripture and write about how I apply it to my life and how you can do the same. When I write about sin, my heart believes that scripture does not include homosexuality. If it did, why would God baptize homosexuals with the Holy Spirit, something I have seen first hand in my church. Scripture condemns promiscuity of ANY type. As a straight man, this applies no more or less to me than any GLBT individual.

God has led me to believe that ALL of his word applies to straight and GLBT people alike, and he can bring you that enlightenment if you open your heart and your mind.

Linking Up and Spreading the Word

You may have noticed in recent days that I have added a lot of links to this blog. I have endeavored to join as many different communities and webrings as possible that might have some connection to or interest in the message of inclusion and Christ's love for ALL people. I would encourage you to visit some of the sites that are in these communities, but please be advised that not all of them share the same point of view.

I decided to branch out and try, especially in Christian and GLBT communities, to get connected where people who don't share the same values may take a few moments and read what we have to share in this small corner of the blogosphere. It's fine to "preach to the choir," but it is also important to reach those who have not received the fullness of Jesus' love and acceptance and touch that uncultivated portion of their hearts and souls. Unfortuately, this blog has already been rejected by several Christian communities who are not willing to share this viewpoint with their members, but there are others who have included the site. I'll keep trying.
If anyreaders have any suggestions of additional communities or sites that I should investigate getting linked up to, please e-mail me and I will follow up on it.

Since I began this push within the last two weeks, traffic here has nearly doubled. May God bless any first-time visitors and I continue to seek his will and guidance in every post I make.

Baylor Gets "Gay" Coffee Cups Pulled, Society Is Saved

Baylor University, strongly encouraged by a group called "Concerned Women for America," had the campus Starbucks shop pull coffee cups containing quotes from authors and other well-known people. According to this report on 365gay.com, Starbucks had a series of cups made for their "The Way I See It" promotion. On about one out of every hundred cups was a quote from Armistead Maupin, author of the famous "Tales of the City," a chronicle of gay life in San Francisco. I read the book and saw the miniseries and thought both were fascinating.

Anyway, the CWA thought that Maupin's quote "promoted the homosexual agenda," and Baylor had the cups pulled.

When I have a point of view and I am secure with it, I don't worry about someone else voicing a different opinion. Should a discussion take place where ideas are exchanged, I don't focus on silencing the other point of view because my beliefs can stand on their own merits.

There are conservative groups that invest a lot of energy and resources in silencing anyone who might express any viewpoint that does not strictly condemn homosexuality. What are they so afraid of? That someone with different values might make sense?

A Gay-Affirming Church Spared, Others Not So Fortunate

Another gay-affirming congregation my church is associated with is in New Orleans. You may have heard about the bad weather they had down there recently. Last week our pastor spoke with the pastor of Word Harvesters Church, Zoila Aguilar, and discovered that, amazingly, their church suffered no damage from Hurricane Katrina. Our congregation had invested a lot of prayer time asking for God's mercy for that church and praise Him that those prayers were answered.

Interestingly, she also related the fact that other churches near her suffered various levels of damage. This would be a good story to relay to those who claimed Katrina was God's judgement on New Orleans. What can that say about Word Harvesters Church, that God missed?

This congregation, like so many others in that area, still needs your prayers because many of the people lost their homes and all of their belongings.

Gay-Straight Alliance? Not At This School!

This is the kind of story that will spike the blood pressure of anyone with an open mind. As reported on 365gay.com, a high school in Georgia had over 60 students sign up for a "Gay-Straight Alliance" club. That sounds like a good thing, right? Not according to a record crowd at a Madison County Board of Education Meeting. One speaker, no doubt taking time away from his day job as a rocket scientist, compared the club to the KKK in its potentialf for diviseness.

So a club that would bring gay and straight people TOGETHER would be divisive? I'm glad that person pointed it out because I'm not nearly smart enough to figure that out on my own.

Shaq Helps Police Catch Gay Assault Suspect

Since I'm a sportswriter in my other life (www.thecourtmaster.net) this story really tickled me and I thought you would appreciate it. NBA star Shaquille Oneil, who has been in training for some time to become a police office when he retires, recently helped Miami Beach police. They arrested a man who O'Neal saw allegedly yell anti-gay slurs at a gay couple walking along the street, then throw a bottle at them. Shaq trailed the suspect and alerted police to make the arrest. O'Neal recently led a major effort for hurricane Katrina relief in South Florida. It's nice to see an athlete who is actually interested in someone besides himself.

Persuasion Using a "Velvet Glove"

I found a story off the AP wire courtesy of 365gay.com discussing the approach Focus on the Family is using to campaign for the repeal of the "Maine Human Rights Act," which specifically includes sexual orientation.

Apparently Focus on the Family belongs to the group of fundamentalits that believes specifying that is is wrong to discriminate against homosexuals grants them some kind of special rights. Interestingly, the leaders of the campaign in Maine are asking their workers to tone down their condemnation of homosexuality and not come across as hateful.

That approach, although somewhat disengenous, is no better or worse than what most other political activists do to persuade people to adopt their particular point of view. That's not my issue.

This report also tell us that Maine evangelical leaders were urged to quit quoting the bible verse (Leviticus 18:22) which is so often used to refer to gay sex as an "abomination."

Let me get this straight--religious leaders are urged NOT to quote their main source of moral guidance in order to be more paletable to voters. What election or vote is important enough to win that turning AWAY from the Bible is a justifiable approach, especially among those who have pledged to spread the Gospel?

Only ones where you are willing to put YOUR desires and values ahead of God's. For me, that would be none.

KKK Protests Pro-Gay Church Group

I dabble in writing fiction, but you just can't make this stuff up. A recent meeting of a pro-gay United Methodist group in North Carolina was protested by about a dozen card-carrying members of the KKK. That's right, the KKK is branching out and not reserving their message of hate for African-Americans. One of the protesters' signs said "Show me where sin is OK." Sure folks, right after you show me where hate is okay.

Looking at the glass half full, the fact that there was a religious group in the notoriously conservative south seeking full rights for gay members is a good thing. God bless them and others like them!

Forgiveness

The pastor at my church had a sermon that really spoke to me today. He preached about the need for us as christians to forgive those who have hurt us or made us angry or that for whatever reason we have some issue of anger or envy toward.

I have not always practiced that in the posts I have added to this blog. I have allowed my anger at those who practice exclusion or other narrow-minded acts to pour out toward these groups or individuals. It would be easy for someone to read what I have written about people like Pat Robertson or groups like Repent America and categorize me as judgemental. By practicing one of the acts I an quick to criticize them and others for, I am not raising the level of dialogue, which is the primary goal of this blog.

I am asking God to forgive me for, at times, writing as if I had the right to judge others. I don't, nor does anyone have the right to judge me. That is something God reserves for himself and I'm mighty glad he does. That being said, however, I will continue to speak out about intolerant acts or anything that I have learned goes against God's word and the very essence of who He is.

Condemning the messenger is what people usually do when they can't argue against his message. It's important to keep focused on the issues and how God wants His people to handle them in their lives. Anything thing else just gets in the way of his will.

Loaning a lesbian

I usually don't stray outside the U.S. for my posts, but this one was just too good to pass up. As reported in the USA Today, a library in Stockholm, Sweden has set up a sitatuion where people can literally come in and check out a person. People with different backgrounds, including homosexual, will be available for library patrons to reserve a 45-minute one-on-discussion to find out how they tick.

I know the best way for me to begin understanding the differences and similarities between myself and gay men was to spend some time sitting with them and asking questions. I have been fortunate to forge good relationships over the years that have been very illuminating, and the gay and lesbian members of my church continue to teach me a LOT about their lives and how we're not nearly as different as some right-wing zealots would have us think.

Of course, I had to be willing to listen. Sadly, that is becoming a lost art in our country. If you haven't done so in a while, try really listening to someone you disagree with and try to understand them. Then, see if they will return the favor. We can all learn something by doing that more often.

On the other side of the ledger.....

One of the more outspoken, bigoted, narrow-minded organizations around, Repent America, issued a statement directly tying in the Katrina disaster to the fact that New Orleans was preparing to host the 34th annual "Southern Decadence" gathering, a major party for the GLBT community. They point out that "this act of God destroyed a wicked city."

While New Orleans has a well earned reputation for decadence involving both straight and gays, this argument is severely flawed because:

o That presumes God created the conditions for the hurricane and steered it's path. Is he supposed to have picked this one out to do some special work, or is he in charge of all hurricanes and therefore responsible for all destruction they cause?

o This was the 34th "Southern Decadence." Why do you suppose God let the first 33 go without punishment?

0 If this storm was to punish New Orleans, then what are the thousands of people in Mississippi whose lives were torn apart supposed to think?

Then again, there wasn't a whole lot of rational thinking that went into this proclamation, was there?

Another way to help Katrina victims

Sadly, one situation when people are truly treated equally is during a natural disaster. Hurricanes don't differentiate between straight and gay people, they just destroy whatever is in its way. Few have done so more than the recent storm Katrina, which brought a nearly unimagineable amount of descturction to Louisiana and Mississippi. There is an organization representing LGBT people that is trying to help called the Rainbow World Fund. Check them out and consider offering any assistance you can afford.

Also, please join me in prayer for those who have lost loved ones as well as those who survived but saw their entire way of life destroyed.

A Loosely Orgainzed Pawn

That's what I am and, I suspect since you are reading this, you are one too. That's according to a piece written by Dr. Edward Hinson, Assistant to the Chancellor of Liberty University. That's right, he works for Rev. Jerry Falwell.

In this diatribe written for "Jerry Falwell's National Liberty Journal", Dr. Hinson targets the Christian Alliance for Progress but essentially throws any organization that would refer to itself as "religious liberal" under the bus. Essentially, that would include anyone who does not subscribe to the version of Christ touted by the Religious Right. The tone of this essay was hardly doctorate in nature. Rather, I could almost hear him saying "Nyah nyah nyah nyah, we're bigger and better than you are."

The main flaws Dr. Hinson points out, besides these groups disagreeing with his narrow view of Christianity, are that the leaders are not nearly as famous as men like Falwell, James Dobson, and yes, Pat Robertson. It is a darn shame that none of the "religious liberal" leaders have ever received anywhere near the publicity that Robertson did today, isn't it?

I would think that a representative of a university (a lovely campus I had the pleasure of touring recently) founded on christian principles and purporting to teach future religious leaders would show at least a trace of Jesus' love. He writes "evangelicals are not the stupid, backward obscurantists you think we are," yet in the rest of his essay appears to go out of his way to disprove his own point.

Thanks to the excellent blog "Christian Dissent" for finding this piece.

Robertson Wants Chavez Whacked

You just can't make this stuff up. If you did, it would be considered so far out there that it would be ridiculed. On Monday's edition of "The 700 Club", a show my mother and I used to watch together because of its loving Christian message and moving stories, host and right-wing religious czar Pat Robertson encouraged the U. S. government to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. He veered so far to the right that Fox News doesn't even have his back on this issue.

I'm trying to make sense out of this, which is of course impossible since IT MAKES NO SENSE! Like it or not, Robertson is a religious leader with some influence in this country. I'm sure he has some twisted justification of how murdering this political leader would advance the cause of God's kingdom. I'm also happy to say that is escapes me, meaning I still have at least one foot firmly planted in reality.

Robertson endorses the assassination of the Venezuelan president in large part to save another $200 billion to get rid of a dictator, obviously referring to the cost of the war in Iraq. Robertson sees Venezuela becoming "a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism."

I suppose we can infer from his statements, made on his own television program, that if we see any nation or group that he determines is a threat to our nation, it's okay to go Tony Soprano on them so we can save some money.

Of course, Robertson and his right-wing ilk often expound on the threat homosexuality is to our society. If there was a "President of Homosexuals" I guess Robertson would put a contract out on him or her. Since Canada has legalized gay marriage, is Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin on his hit list?

Does the Fab Five from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" have bodyguards? If not, they might want to look into it--they could be next in the 700's Club's crosshairs.

Preaching Politics

Call me crazy, but when I go to church, I want to hear preaching based on the bible. I want to learn more about taking God's word and applying it to my daily life. I want to feel more of the Holy Spirit and draw closer to God and be a better servant.

I DON'T go to learn how someone thinks I am supposed to vote, but I feel more and more like that puts me in a shrinking minority. Here is a story about what was organized as a rally to support Supreme Court nominee John Roberts in churches acorss the country. After it was revealed that Roberts had once provided legal advice to a LGBT group that helped them win a civil rights case, the tone was changed into just a basic gay-bashing rally.

The story quotes a spokesman for Focus on the Family as saying Roberts' work with the LGBT group is "raising alarm bells."

Someone that has James Dobson's undies in a bunch can't be all bad.

Catholocism and the Gay Community

My name is Jim, and I’m a recovering Catholic.

Hi Jim!

I didn’t need a 12-step program to move away from Catholicism. In fact, for a while, it was very good to me. I converted from being a Southern Baptist in 1994, a year after marrying another converted Catholic.

I was, and still am, horribly disillusioned by the right-wing policies the Baptists adopted and have worked very hard to have adopted as the laws of the land. They have been disturbingly successful with this effort and stand to gain even more of a foothold as the character of the Supreme Court changes in the next few years.

The Roman Catholic Church is hardly noted for its liberalism. Rather, its attitudes toward women in the ministry and priests not marrying hearken back to the dark ages. I think what appealed to me in 1994 and for a number of years following was the structure and history of the Church. They were hardly making up the rules as they went along and there were very clear lines of authority. No preachers were running amok on a power trip with their hand out shaking people down for money.

Ultimately, though, what both my wife and I found lacking in the Catholic Church was passion. She had been indoctrinated into a very spiritual parish in Illinois, but we never found one in Maryland that came close to equaling it. Gradually we drifted away from the church and were readying ourselves to look for a new church home. I think she would like where Brenda and I are now, a small, spirit-filled church where the policies of exclusion are denounced and inclusion are practiced.

This all came to mind when I was perusing 365gay.com, a news service focused on gay issues. One of their stories reported on a priest at the famous St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York, Monsignor Eugene Clark. He had recently resigned after being named as "the other man" in a divorce suit involving his former secretary and her husband. I can’t help but think that at least some Catholics’ first reaction was, "at least he wasn’t doing anything with a little boy." It’s not an easy time to be in the Roman Catholic Church.

The story is relevant in this forum because Clark was known for his repeated attacks on gays. 365gay.com reported that in 1999, Clark told a Catholic Radio audience that gays are "The enemy of Christian marriage." It seems that Clark himself was the enemy of at least one marriage himself. How often have you noticed that, regardless of the issue, the people who are the loudest at condemning people are often covering for some sin or shortcoming themselves?

Can Catholicism actually be good for gays? Columnist Michelangelo Signorile at 365gay.com asks that question and says in some ways it is. He points out that that when a gay Catholic comes out, families tend to be more accepting and work on keeping the family unit together in part because of the teaching of the church.

Signorile also writes that in predominantly Catholic countries like Spain, Poland, and much of South America, gays are gaining more visibility and benefits than many people believed possible. Agree or disagree, this is one of those pieces that will make you thoughtfully rub your chin and go "hmmmm."

Hopefully the Catholic Church will get some new blood in their leadership that will take it to a more open and accepting policy, but I doubt many of us will live long enough to see any significant change. There will always be some common ground with other Christians and Catholics. We all love God and are trying to serve him. That’s not a bad place to start.

Too Much Understanding, Not Enough Faith

In this, the information age, our society tries to understand TOO much. How is that possible? When we try to explain the unexplainable, usually by diminishing it to a level where mere humans can make sense out of it.

You see, the whole concept of faith, especially faith in God, is belief in things unseen. When a child is very young, his understanding of the world is very limited. Inevitably there are important things that his parents tell him that they are not able to rationalize. In those cases, parents usually say something like, "trust me, it’s for your own good," or "you know I would never tell you anything that would hurt you."

Some of us were fortunate enough to have loving, caring parents as small children, and others were not. We all have our Father in heaven who will love us, through his Son Jesus Christ, regardless of how much money we possess, what type of job we have, the color of our skin, or yes, even our sexual orientation. He tells us many times in the Bible that the most blessed of us will come to him like children.

We can ALL trust our Father when he tells us that if we love him, accept Jesus Christ as our Savior, and seek forgiveness of our sins (repent) we will receive eternal glory in heaven. I don’t understand how that is all possible, and how we will eventually rise up again and walk the earth. Thankfully, I don’t have to; I just need to have the faith to accept that it will all work out as God has promised us.

Another of the many things I don’t understand about this world is why some people are straight and others are homosexual. I won’t even offer any theories as to why God does that; I’m smart enough to know when I’m out of my depth.

Unfortunately, many pious religious leaders do not exercise that type of discretion. Instead, they have determined that, since they do not believe homosexuality is acceptable it must be a sin. They’ve even twisted the interpretation of several scriptures to "prove" their point.

Taking that "logic" a step further, they can’t exactly preach that God made people with a natural inclination to sin. Therefore, it must be an individual’s "choice" to act as a homosexual, and any choice, like that of drinking alcohol or using drugs, can be changed with enough prayer, therapy, rehabilitation, and a little condemnation thrown in for good measure.

By preaching this message as the gospel truth, those who practice it are becoming a major divisive force in this country. That’s okay with them, however, because they can explain, rationalize, justify and use any other logical method to tell you why they are right and everyone who has a different view is wrong.

From where I sit, I think the Religious Right needs to do less "understanding" and more believing in the message of Jesus Christ, the message of love and inclusion.

God says many times in the Bible that His ways surpass all understanding. So it is okay not to know everything, filling in the holes with faith in his promises to us, the children he loves so much.

Be All You Can Be? Not Quite

How often have you heard the phrase "Be all you can be" used as a recruiting slogan by the United States military? I would think probably hundreds, if not thousands of times over the year. It’s a good one, isn’t it?

If you happen to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual however, it is a lie.

Not only is the military staunchly defending its "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy in court, they appear to be aggressively seeking out soldiers that are deemed to violate its very broad interpretation.

In the past year, at least five soldiers have been discharged from the military for placing online personal ads that identify them as gay. The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) reports that there have been at least 40 "outings" in similar incidents they have monitored this year.

Who is taking the time to peruse gay personals anyway? Is that actually in someone’s job description? Would we have a better chance of finding Osama Bin Laden if he was trying to get hooked up with a gay lover? Is this really important enough to further deplete the ranks of soldiers that are already spread too thin?

I’m proud of our brave men and women that sign up to leave their homes and put their lives at risk. Most of us have a friend or relative that served in at least one of the Iraq wars. I have a brave young cousin that was over with the first wave of forces in 2003. Whether you agree or disagree with the politics involved God Bless our soldiers for being willing to go and defend our nation.

The fact that military leadership continues to enforce this inane "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy and are willing to go so far as to review personal ads, however, helps make the phrase "military intelligence" seem like an oxymoron.

Speaking of morons, have these people watched too many episodes of MASH? Do they expect gay soldiers to act like Corporal Klinger in the early years, reporting for duty in women’s clothing? Are they afraid of gay soldiers heading out on troop maneuvers wearing pink chiffon and demanding candelabras at the mess halls with Liberace dinner music piped in?

I’m asking a lot of questions here and providing few answers because I just don’t get it. As far as society has come in so many areas, it is sad that the leaders of the group that could literally blow up the world still acts as if they fear people that are not like them.

Many leaders of the right wing have tried to make patriotism and morality into black and white issues, allowing no room for shades of gray, not to mention any rainbow colors. No wonder they are usually the political champions of the Armed Forces.

In the United States military, it’s not about being all you can be; it’s about being all they will allow you to be.

Destroying the "Traditional Family"

For a long time, I bought the right-wing party line about how allowing gay couples to marry would lead to the “destruction of the traditional family,” as they love to trumpet loudly.

Then I did something the Religious Right just abhors—I thought for myself and then actually became acquainted with some gay couples. I have seen a love and devotion in these couples that reminds me of that I sharedwith my late wife and now with my fiancee. How could these people having the right to get married destroy anything?

In this excerpt from his book “Marriage Under Fire,” Dr. James Dobson wraps up his case against gay marriage. I found it appallingly easy to unravel. Here are a few of his key points and where I see reality is different.

“The legalization of homosexual marriage will quickly destroy the traditional family.” Do you know what really destroys the traditional family? Divorce! Yes, even some of the ministers who so piously preach about “family values” from the pulpit every Sunday have broken their marriage vows and divorced their wives. It just makes common sense to me that we should be a LOT more worried about heterosexuals failing at marriage than gay couples, many who have been together functioning as marred couples for years, having the opportunity to enjoy those benefits.

“Children Will Suffer Most.” Here the esteemed Dr. Dobson points out that homosexuals are rarely monogamous. Again, I’d worry about that 50% divorce rate myself. What is worse, living with two fathers or two mothers or being raised by a single parent? It just makes sense that having two committed partners who love each other and love a child builds a very solid foundation in a child’s life.

“Public schools will embrace homosexuality.” Heaven forbid that acceptance be taught in our public schools. After all, it obviously is not in Dr. Dobson’s church!

“Religious freedom will almost certainly be jeopardized.” Here Dr. Dobson cites examples of legislation in Canada designed to restrict hate-mongering speeches against gays. Thank heavens preachers are free to preach messages of hate and exclusion in our fine nation!

“The gospel of Jesus Christ will be severely curtailed.” The Religious Right’s narrow-minded and twisted view of Jesus would take a hit, that’s for sure. What would come forth is a renewed emphasis on how He loves ALL people who accept him as Lord and Savior.

One might read this and wonder how I, a lowly accountant and sportswriter by trade, would dare to challenge a man so learned as Dr. James Dobson, someone who has sold millions of books and has a nationwide radio ministry.

I would respond by saying I am simply observing my surroundings, opening my heart to the Holy Spirit, and following His lead. I did NOT establish a political agenda and look to filter everything, even the Word of God, through that agenda. I do not fear or hate people who are not like me. Jesus preached love and acceptance and that is the example I try to follow.

People like Dr. Dobson are trying to secure the future of the family by keeping apart people who truly love and are committed to each other, but happen to be gay. Does that sound as stupid to you as it does to me?

A productive focus on the family would be one that helps people, regardless of sexual orientation, make better decisions when they take their marriage vows and offer assistance and guidance in keeping them.

Of course, that wouldn’t sell as many books or bring in as many donations, would it?

Site Update

First, I would like to thank the hundreds of visitors that have come here in our first few weeks on the Internet. I hope you have found your time well spent.

Beginning next Tuesday, I will begin a set schedule of updates on Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday. They will usually be posted in the evening, although some days it could be earlier.

I would encourage anyone who runs across any pertinent material someone else wrote, or who wants to contribute an original piece themselves, to send it to me. If I feel that it keeps with the mission of this site, I would be happy to post it and appreciative that you thought of forwarding it.

Most of all, I would ask visitors to take a moment and leave feedback, either by posting a comment or sending e-mail to straight_notnarrow@yahoo.com. I want to improve this site in any way possible and will seriously consider any suggestions. It would be nice to know if what I am writing and posting is making an impression on the readers. A few of you have already been kind enough to tell me that it has.

I would also ask that, if you feel there is value to what you read here, to please encourage anyone who might be interested to check it out. You can access it directly at www.straightnotnarrow.org.

I'm not interested in doing anything with Straight Not Narrow other than encouraging dialogue and getting people to consider important issues relating to Christianity and LGBT individuals from a different perspective. Most importantly, I want to spread the word of God's loving inclusiveness, not exclusion. The more people that get involved in this site, the better chance there is of accomplishing these goals.

Thanks for your continued support,

Jim Johnson

Dissent is Patriotic

Last week, there was some conversation amongst my church family regarding President Bush’s nomination of John Roberts to become the next Supreme Court Justice.

In a left-leaning church like ours, it was no surprise when one member asked everyone to sign a petition opposing Judge Robert’ nomination and calling on Congress to not confirm him.

Another member responded by wondering what was the point, asking if there was any realistic expectation that Bush would nominate anyone but a conservative. This was a valid point but one that troubled me nonetheless.

One of the more effective tactics the Bush administration and its right-wing supporters have used to deflect criticism of their policies is to call any public opposition “unpatriotic” and hiding behind the veil of “threatening national security.”

On the contrary, nothing is MORE patriotic than dissent.

Conservatives like to talk about returning out nation to its core values but, as so often happens, they pick and choose what values they want to emphasize. Even the most cursory review of American history serves as a reminder that this country was founded because of the dissent of the original colonists. They spoke out against taxation without representation and, when words failed, they took action.

That, my friends, is a core value of the United States of America that the right wing is gradually trying to erase, and with much success. It’s not all about the conservatives, however. When is the last time you saw any debate on one of the national news programs that didn’t deteriorate into a shouting match? Nobody listens anymore! Advocates on the right and the left seem to only focus on making their points and listen to opposing views only to have points they can loudly object to and, at time, ridicule. If someone can’t argue down the message, the next step is to often attack the messenger. This is something the right wing and the Bush administration have down to a science and clearly helped them keep power in 2004. Their opponents don’t have a strong leader and a clearly focused message with which to overcome this tactic.

I don’t want this forum to become heavily political, but sometimes there is no avoiding it. The Pastor of our church has often said that he abhors hearing politics preached from the pulpit. He reluctantly faces reality, however, when he points out that if we don’t stand up for what we believe, open and affirming churches like ours and many of the people who worship in them will get shoved right back into the closet.

From my vantage point, the right wing is controlling the debate, often by limiting it, because they are more focused on issues and they have the loudest voices. Who can moderates and liberals claim as their answer to Rush Limbaugh, Jerry Fallwell, Pat Robertson, or most of the Fox News Network?

The right wing has the advantage in today’s microwave society because they present their views as facts, and many people are just too lazy or busy with other things to consider anything different. This type of person is all too happy to have someone tell them what to think and follow along like sheep. THERE is the primary target audience that needs to be reached to reintroduce love as a core value of this once-great nation. THERE are the people who, if they make even a slight effort to open their minds and hearts, can cause a groundswell against those that spew hate and condemnation in God’s name.

I signed that petition. I encourage everyone that reads this to explore areas where they can make their voice heard. If we wait for someone else to step up, the opportunity may be lost forever.

Two Good Approaches

There is an outstanding op-ed piece in the 7/18 edition of the Los Angeles Times (free registration required) written by Michael McGough that addresses two ways that gay people and their advocates can make points against the condemnation the Religious Right is so determined to judge them with.

First, there is more than one way to interpret scripture, as I have pointed out on this blog before. He refers to a great website for this exercise, www.truthsetfree.net, reserched by Justin R. Cannon, a student at Earlham College in Richmond, Indiana.

McGough also points out another approach, "There is an alternative to passage-by-passage literal arguments — one that calls for the courageous assertion that Scripture can be reinterpreted.....on the basis of the lived experience of Christians, guided by the Holy Spirit."

Regarding the "clobber passages" that are often used to support the arguement that homosexuality is a sin, McGough concludes, "however you read them, they were never meant to be the end of the lesson."

Wise words indeed! I strongly recommend you take time to read the entire editorial.

Gay Children

I've been corresponding with Bill Ware, who writes a blog titled Ware Farms. Bill writes about gay issues from a perspective consistent with his background in psychology.

I am linking to a piece he wrote about the trial of the man in Tampa who, in trying to "toughen up" his son, wound up beating him to death. In it he reprints a heartfelt letter he wrote to a local newspaper about raising gay children with love and understanding, not the hate and condemnation the religious right preaches. It is very much worth reading.

In The Name of God

Church-burnings appear to be coming back into vogue, and they still don’t make any sense. The most recent case occurred in Virginia, where a United Church of Christ church was vandalized and a small fire was set inside the building. Fortunately, the perpetrators apparently weren’t very good arsonists since there was only smoke damage from the fire. The graffiti on the side of the church proclaimed the congregation sinners, likely in response to their rule-making body’s endorsement of same-sex marriage a few days earlier.

This violent act, apparently in the name of God, is nothing compared to what Islamic extremists have been doing worldwide for years. They claim that Allah wants them to destroy the infidels (I’ve been called worse) and have the world conform to their type of Islamic lifestyles.

I’m not sure what God you worship, but the One I have given my life to, the One who loved me so much that He sent His son to earth to suffer and die to save ME from MY sins doesn’t think destruction and death are ways to spread His message of love and inclusion.

Let’s go back to the knuckleheads who were led to vandalize the UCC church because that denomination had the nerve to adopt a policy that did not sync up with their view of Christianity. It appears that he, she, or they decided to enforce their version of God’s will upon that group of sinners, since they obviously deserved it. May I suggest a radical solution to stop people from acting like this in the future—read the Bible!

Sure, in Old Testament days God did a lot of smiting. Many stubborn Israelites just didn’t get it when God gave them direction to do something, and the penalty was often death administered by Him DIRECTLY. He didn’t delegate the smiting, demonstrating He was the only One who could truly pass judgment on a person. Even if He would have, it wouldn’t have been to some amateur pyromaniacs with a can of spray paint.

Why, then, does ANYONE think they have the right to administer punishment based on THEIR interpretation of God’s Word. No human’s judgment is infallible. I know the Pope of the Catholic Church is said to be infallible, but since church policy has changed over the centuries, does that mean they’ve become more infallible? I seriously doubt it.

Recently, someone tried to set fire to a mosque in Bloomington, Indiana—I suppose they were punishing that group for violent acts committed by others who shared the same religion. Ah yes, the old "eye for an eye" policy. That is soooooo Old Testament. Perhaps these less than enlightened folks never heard of the sequel, the New Testament. There’s not as much sex and violence in the New Testament, but it does contain the most important story ever told, that of how Jesus Christ came to redeem us and, among other things, save us from ourselves, not to mention eternal damnation.

I just can’t get my arms around the concept of initiating violent acts in the name of God. I don’t know a lot about Islam, so I’m not going to try and analyze how Muslims can justify the types of action most people call terrorism, but I’m quite familiar with Christianity. Jesus came toward sinners with words of wisdom, open arms, and the love of God. He didn’t have matches and a bucket of paint.

Shouldn’t people acting in the name of God act more like God?

Onward, Moderate Christian Soldiers

I was forwarded this piece written by John Danforth. Ambassador John C. Danforth is an Episcopal priest and the current United States Ambassador to the United Nations. He served for 18 years as a Republican Senator from Missouri. His Op-Ed article "Onward, Moderate Christian Soldiers" appeared in the June 17, 2005 edition of the New York Times. I didn't think I'd be using anything from a prominent republican in this forum, but I found this to fit very well. It's a good message of open mindedness and tolerance.


It would be an oversimplification to say thatAmerica's culture wars are now between people of faith and nonbelievers. People of faith are not of one mind, whether on specific issues like stem cell research and government intervention in the case of Terri Schiavo, or the more general issue of how religion relates to politics.

In recent years, conservative Christians have presented themselves as representing the one authentic Christian perspective on politics. With due respect for our conservative friends, equally devout Christians come to very different conclusions.

It is important for those of us who are sometimes called moderates to make the case that we, too, have strongly held Christian convictions, that we speak from the depths of our beliefs, and that our approach to politics is at least as faithful as that of those who are more conservative. Our difference concerns the extent to which government should, or even can, translate religious beliefs into the laws of the state.

People of faith have the right, and perhaps the obligation, to bring theirvalues to bear in politics. Many conservative Christians approach politics with a certainty that they know God's truth, and that they can advance the kingdom of God through governmental action.

So they have developed a political agenda that they believe advances God's kingdom, one that includes efforts to "put God back" into the public square and to pass a constitutional amendment intended to protect marriage from the perceived threat of homosexuality.

Moderate Christians are less certain about when and how our beliefs can be translated into statutory form, not because of a lack of faith in God but because of a healthy acknowledgement of the limitations of human beings. Like conservative Christians, we attend church, read the Bible and say ourprayers.

But for us, the only absolute standard of behavior is the commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves. Repeatedly in the Gospels, we find that the Love Commandment takes precedence when it conflicts with laws. We struggle to follow that commandment as we face the realities of everyday living, and we do not agree that our responsibility to live as Christians can be codified by legislators.

When, on television, we see a person in a persistent vegetative state, one who will never recover, we believe that allowing the natural and merciful end to her ordeal is more loving than imposing government power to keep her hooked up to a feeding tube.

When we see an opportunity to save our neighbors' lives through stem cell research, we believe that it is our duty to pursue that research, and to oppose legislation that would impede us from doing so.

We think that efforts to haul references of God into the public square, into schools and courthouses, are far more apt to divide Americans than to advance faith.

Following a Lord who reached out in compassion to all human beings, we oppose amending the Constitution in a way that would humiliate homosexuals.

For us, living the Love Commandment may be at odds with efforts to encapsulate Christianity in a political agenda. We strongly support the separation of church and state, both because that principle is essential to holding together a diverse country, and because the policies of the state always fall short of the demands of faith.

Aware that even our most passionate ventures into politics are efforts to carry the treasure of religion in the earthen vessel of government, we proceed in a spirit of humility lacking in our conservative colleagues.

In the decade since I left the Senate, American politics has been characterized by two phenomena: the increased activism of the Christian right, especially in the Republican Party, and the collapse of bipartisan collegiality. I do not think it is a stretch to suggest a relationship between the two.

To assert that I am on God's side and you are not, that I know God's will and you do not, and that I will use the power of government to advance my understanding of God's kingdom is certain to produce hostility.

By contrast, moderate Christians see ourselves, literally, as moderators. Far from claiming to possess God's truth, we claim only to be imperfect seekers of the truth.

We reject the notion that religion should present a series of wedge issues useful at election time for energizing a political base. We believe it is God's work to practice humility, to wear tolerance on our sleeves, to reach out to those with whom we disagree, and to overcome the meanness we see in today's politics.

For us, religion should be inclusive, and it should seek to bridge the differences that separate people. We do not exclude from worship those whos eopinions differ from ours.

Following a Lord who sat at the table with tax collectors and sinners, we welcome to the Lord's table all who would come. Following a Lord who cited love of God and love of neighbor as encompassing all the commandments, we reject a political agenda that displaces that love.

Christians who hold these convictions ought to add their clear voice of moderation to the debate on religion in politics.