May 17, 2007

Same-Sex Marriage Opponents Don't Want "Gay Cooties"

Yes, I said gay cooties. It's not an original phrase, though. I found it in this editorial from the Pawtucket (RI) Times. Titled "Opponents of same-sex marriage display bigotry," the editorial does a good job of backing up that claim:

Anti-gay prejudice is the only reason that the law will not allow same-sex marriage. The opponents, for many of whom religion is either a reason or an excuse, don't want to get gay cooties all over "their" sacred institution. What else does a so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) - which essentially defines marriage as the union between one man and one woman - defend marriage against?

That position is childish. Not child-like, with its implication of innocence, wonder and acceptance, but childish, as in selfish, petty and small-minded.

In many ways, including its connection to religion, the gay marriage issue is like the abortion debate - there is no room for compromise. No middle ground. Just about everybody's mind is made up, and those opinions are polarized. Unless you are the guy who stands up and says, "how about civil unions?" In which case you get the hairy eyeball from BOTH sides.

Gays resent civil union because it is half-a-civil-rights-loaf. It still makes them "other" and "less than," even though to a smaller degree. And it will not effectively confer many of the rights and privileges of marriage, particularly on the federal level, that they are looking for and deserve. The opponents, on the other hand, don't want it "because...because...well, because they're a bunch of queers. That's why, dammit." I don't want to imply that religion equates with anti-gay bigotry. To the contrary, there were several clergymen, some wearing clerical garb, testifying in favor of the same-sex marriage bill. One provided a list of approximately 100 clergy from churches all over the state endorsing the bill.

There's plenty more I didn't excerpt here. I recommend checking out the entire editorial. Be ready to laugh, and then probably nod your head in agreement.


  1. The masculinity obsession

    I believe that many of the issues about the struggle for gay rights runs deeper than just people’s religious values.
    Growing up as a gay man in American society, a male child learns early on the obvious superior position the more masculine the male the higher social standing he will likely attain by it’s sheer virtue. It is very clear that the masculine male athlete is considered of the highest social standing. How Americans worship their male athletes is the prime example of this hyper-masculine obsession within American culture. I believe this obsession with masculinity is one of the major issues behind homophobia. People need to understand that there is a wide range of behaviors ranging from very masculine to very effeminate. This range is not only found in homosexuals, but heterosexuals as well.
    Having spent much of my life traveling all over the world because of my interest in cultures, I have however particularly noticed that in most of the European countries there isn’t quite the masculine obsession we Americans have. Being a gay man, we all know what gaydar means. Some heterosexual people may even have heard this term but don’t understand quite what it means. It means having almost a sixth sense about which men are gay and which aren’t. It’s an interesting phenomenon that needs greater study in its own right. Gay men tend to have pretty good gaydar which is clearly a learned behavior that can be quite accurate. This learned trait I believe is based on the phenomenon of the American masculine obsession and how gay men unconsciously during their lives observe what it is to be masculine in America. This obsession actually causes men that are not stereotypically masculine by nature to try and become masculine acting by practice. You see it in our own president who has obviously bought into this belief and is clearly acting out a hyper masculine image. He has adapted to walking and taking like an American cowboy hero that just got off from his horse which is clearly evident in his stance and gate. He even feels the need to hold is arms further away from his body than need be to give the impression of his arms being to muscular to be able to hold them closer. This learned behavior stems I believe from hyper insecurity which encourages men to try and become what they consider to be what is most admired. However, conversely one does not often see this behavior within most European cultures because they don’t seem to have the hyper-masculine worship that we Americans have. Perhaps we have it because of the history of how our country was founded. The reason why I mentioned gaydar is because in Europe my gaydar does not work well because many of the European men by American standards act effeminate. It is not that they are effeminate, that is once again only relative to American cultural standards by how we were taught to measure masculinity. European men just walk, talk and act much more naturally and without giving thought to whether they are perceived as being masculine or feminine. This then translates into the fear of being considered gay.
    The issue of masculine/feminine ought to be considered a neutral issue within a healthy culture that is not fraught with fear about being considered gay or straight.
    Gay men I have observed over my many years of being an out gay man have even bought into this American hyper-masculine worship. They will often try and act masculine, and will on chat lines make certain that the gay man they are talking to knows that they are the masculine type. Most of us, whether gay or straight are somewhere in the middle. However, many men will practice trying to be, on the masculine scale from 1 to 10, will try to act and be perceived closer to a 10. It is truly an interesting phenomenon. This is likely partly the reason why athletes have trouble coming out of the closet because they will lose much of their social standing and adoration. We as Americans need to be more concerned about our ethics, morals and social decay rather than being so concerned about the way we were born to behave and what actually comes naturally to us. This obsession I believe is behind much of the emotional damage done to gay men in particular which manifests in a variety of ways even in adulthood. The emotional damage is done early on in a gay child’s development. This belief is what inspired me to author the book;” why gay men do what they do, inside look at gay culture. In this book I explain in detail what this obsession has done to the gay psyche. Thank you, Aaron Jason Silver “Why gay men do what they do”, an inside look at gay culture.

  2. Hi Jim. This comment is unrelated to this post, but I am trying to contact you about your old blog, "Disciples from the Left." Could you please remove the link to "Where To Now God" from your sidebar? That's my old blog, which I shut down, and now the URL has been taken over by someone who is posting not so nice stuff. I'm trying to break any association between myself and that URL and found your old blog in a search. Thanks!