December 27, 2009

A Legal Married Gay Perspective on Legal Marriage

Father Tony at The Bilerico Project weighs in on the institution of marriage a year after he entered into it with his long-time partner and, while grateful, seems somewhat unmoved.  We'll let you in on a secret--as a straight couple, we share many of the same feelings; we were in a committed covenant relationship well before we took our vows and signed the papers.  Here's an excerpt from Father Tony's essay;

My marriage is a contract, a conveyance, a vehicle, a convenience and a protection. Its anniversary is not unlike getting that annual flu shot.

We have built our relationship in a homophobic and hostile culture with no guidance and no template. Before we married, we woke up every day to reinvent and renew an unwritten contract and an allegiance and a love for which there was no recipe and no safe harbor. Therefore, no city hall, no license and no ceremony could ever equal what we have created on our own and entirely of our own daily volition. Marriage does not dignify it or ratify it or solemnify it or sanctify it. If anything, it waters it down a bit or reduces it. Obviously, we married for the practicalities but there have been some surprising benefits that I'll be mentioning.

We got married to protect our assets and our rights and for the financial benefits. We are grateful for those conveyances, but really, they are only what we are owed as citizens of this country. Let's continue the struggle for our rights, but let's not overly glorify this rather odd and ill-fitting institution.
Click here to read the rest of the essay.

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