February 18, 2009

A journey toward more understanding with my parents

When I first came out 15 years ago, my parents were less than helpful. My mother said, "You KNOW what the Bible says!?!". Thus started the journey.

Over the years, my parents have become more and more understanding that this isn't a phase I'm going through. My sexuality isn't a result of their parenting skills. More and more, they have started treating Erica as a member of the family. This is something that I never thought would come to be! While they still maintain that they don't "condone" our relationship, they have begun to love us as parents should do...unconditionally.

Today was a beautiful example of that unconditional love. Recently, Erica and I have had a falling out with our church family of 10 years. It's been painful, to say the least. I phoned my mom yesterday to tell her what was happening and asked for her prayers for the situation. My dad, who doesn't call me often, called me today. He said he just wanted to make sure that I knew that I did nothing wrong and not to be down on myself for the failure of our relationship with the church. This is a gay-predominant church, mind you! My dad could have said that we didn't belong there anyway since they teach that being gay is okay with God. He could have said he hoped that I had come to my senses. He could have said a lot of things that would have hurt me. What he did do, though, was affirm my ability to discern God's best for Erica and me. What a refreshing and loving act! It truly touched me and I'm grateful that God gave me the parents He did. They are one of a kind.

I don't know what Erica and I will be doing as the days pass and we choose what church or fellowship we will be a part of going forward, but I do know that my parents will be supportive of our decision and will be there for us. It's a good feeling.

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