October 18, 2007

Healing from Hurts Administered by "The Church"

Allow me to take a moment to add my perspective to one of the points I frequently hear from GLBT people—“I’ve had such a bad experience with the church.” I understand that and have heard some real horror stories. Many GLBT people would not allow you to drag them into a church at gunpoint. At the PFLAG convention Pastor Brenda and I attended last week, you could even see some of the straight family members veer away from our table when they noticed we were from a church.

It is critical to make this point. “The church” does not truly exist. Christianity has been splintered off to where there are very few basic concepts that all denominations would agree on. I listened to a recorded presentation from a Billy Graham Evangelistic Association Evangelism Training Conference that was very illuminating. The speaker broke down doctrine into three categories; foundation, conviction, and preference.

The list of items under foundation, those indisputable facts taken directly from scripture, were very short and did not venture much past Jesus being the Son of God and being resurrected from the dead. Convictions were beliefs that, while biblically based, were not indisputable. Preferences are mostly differences in how to approach worship; styles of music, types of prayers, etc.

The speaker pointed out that most conflict in churches (and he was speaking to an audience identified as being comprised of people from 59 different denominations) was caused by differences in conviction and preference. More importantly, he stated that it was the foundational beliefs and ONLY those that determined a person’s eternal destination—whether they would go to heaven or hell.

I bring that up here specifically for those who have been deeply wounded by their church experiences. If someone has told you that you would go to hell because you acted upon your homosexual experiences, they were speaking on their convictions, and convictions, being subject to interpretation of the scripture, can be wrong. If someone has called you an abomination, that was also from their convictions; how they read a passage from the Bible.

Ultimately, you relationship with narrow-minded people spewing judgment and condemnation in God’s name is just that, a relationship with people. All that ultimately matters is your relationship, and it is exactly that, a relationship, with Jesus Christ. If you have been in a church where people, even a pastor, told you that you could not have unless you renounced your homosexuality, they did that based on a conviction, not a fundamental fact.

There are churches like mine that, instead of pushing you away from God or requiring you to change, will teach you how to draw close, how to feel His love, and find the peace you have been seeking your entire life. Only Christ can heal the scars that hateful people have administered to your psyche, perhaps down to your very soul. I assure you, from first hand experience, that there are people in other churches that will love you as you are, where you are, and show you the path to receive the love that Jesus is so eager to give you.

The next time you hear someone state “the church’s” position on homosexuality, remember they are speaking only for THEIR church. There are others who will love you, nurture you, and accept you as God made you.

If you are seeking a church like that, I would be glad to help. Drop me a note at straight_notnarrow@yahoo.com.

2 comments:

  1. Of course, it takes more than offering a place where convictions and preferences are not a source of rejection.

    Some churches actively seek an opportunity to condemn homosexuals. A couple of examples are the well-known Westboro Baptist Church and the lesser known Pilgrim Baptist Church (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHY5ZE0uDhs and http://www.bonusround.com/book2-8/book2-8part9.html).

    Other churches condemn homosexuality regularly from the pulpit.

    Still other churches condemn homosexuality in conversation, but not from the pulpit.

    Then there are the churches that don't seem to condemn homosexuality - at least, not overtly.

    Some of these churches may just have members that shun those they know to be homosexual, or make off-color jokes about homosexuals.

    Some may claim to be welcoming, but never really reach out to their homosexual members.

    Some let homosexuals participate at lower levels.

    And then there are some that call on homosexuals the way they call on any member - to lead worship, sing, clean the floors, lead Sunday school, cook for a special meal, be a treasurer.

    These churches value homosexuals as human beings despite their homosexuality.


    And yet, there is something better.

    Some churches value heterosexuals for their heterosexuality and homosexuals for their homosexuality; athletes for their athletic prowess and authors for their ability to write.

    These churches celebrate the goodness of what God has made in each of us.

    I challenge churches to aspire to this level of appreciation for all of the members of the body of Chrust.

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  2. i have heard this argument again and again, that the lost and hurt should not look at 'the church' because it either A. does not exist or B. is made up mere humans. That the lost need to concentrate on a relationship with Jesus instead of focusing on the church. I suppose it makes sense to christians, it has to or not so many would say it, but it does not make sense to me. If you say I should forget about the people and just work on my relationship with God that is fine but then you add that to work on my relationship with God I must go to a building full of people. I must talk to other people. Last time I checked, God did not talk to me on the street or give me his opinion on my life yet people do that all the time. How else are the lost supposed to come and know the creator of the universe without going through his creation?

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