June 17, 2006
Pruning Dead Branches
In my latest column for Gay Christian Outreach, I examine the concept of Jesus being the vine of life, and we are the branches that grom from Him. In that context, I examine the branches that grow from our lives that take us away from the path God wants us to follow and how we need to resolve that.
June 16, 2006
A Report From Inside the "Love Won Out" Conference
I've written about the scene and views expressed outside last Saturday's Love Won Out conference in Maryland, and thanks to the folks at Ex-Gay Watch here is a report from inside the conference itself.
The writer, Eve Tushnet, adds further observations on her blog. According to Ex-Gay Watch, Tushnet is a conservative Roman Catholic who is not considered a friend of GLBT equality issues. Despite that viewpoint, she is quite sceptical about many of the claims made in the conference.
It doesn't take much objective thought to understand that there is not therapy in existence that will turn a homosexual straight. The most they can generally accomplish is teach someone how not to act on their same-sex attractions, not how to quit having them.
In his outstanding book "Anything But Straight," Wayne Besen chronicles what happens to some of these folks after they leave ex-gay therapy. They often wind up back in gay bars, which seems like a lot to go through for nothing. The most frequent result according to Ex-Gay Watch, Besen, and others is continued or even intensified self-loathing and self-destructive behavior of people who have it drilled into their heads that they are filthy sinners if they act in the way God made them (they don't tell them that last part though, it might hurt business).
I'll be interviewing Wayne Besen in the near future about his book and his new organization, Truth Wins Out.
The writer, Eve Tushnet, adds further observations on her blog. According to Ex-Gay Watch, Tushnet is a conservative Roman Catholic who is not considered a friend of GLBT equality issues. Despite that viewpoint, she is quite sceptical about many of the claims made in the conference.
It doesn't take much objective thought to understand that there is not therapy in existence that will turn a homosexual straight. The most they can generally accomplish is teach someone how not to act on their same-sex attractions, not how to quit having them.
In his outstanding book "Anything But Straight," Wayne Besen chronicles what happens to some of these folks after they leave ex-gay therapy. They often wind up back in gay bars, which seems like a lot to go through for nothing. The most frequent result according to Ex-Gay Watch, Besen, and others is continued or even intensified self-loathing and self-destructive behavior of people who have it drilled into their heads that they are filthy sinners if they act in the way God made them (they don't tell them that last part though, it might hurt business).
I'll be interviewing Wayne Besen in the near future about his book and his new organization, Truth Wins Out.
June 14, 2006
God and Gays: Churchgoers Divided
This issue got the national treatment from USA Today. Here are some excerpts I found particularly interesting:
Barbara Brown Taylor, 55, left the Episcopal priesthood, observing that "human beings never behave more badly toward one another than when they believe they are protecting God."
Surveys have shown that most of the growing denominations and non-denominational community "Bible churches" are theologically conservative, with no openly gay clergy or no same-sex unions blessed.
Once, black people, women and homosexuals were viewed the same way by the leading theologians of the times: "They were all cursed by God in Scripture, inferior in moral character and willfully sinful and deserving punishment," says the Rev. Jack Rogers, former head of the Presbyterian Church (USA) and author of a new book, Jesus, the Bible and Homosexuality.
Eventually, most churches found a biblical basis for changing their stance on race and gender but not on homosexuality.
"Young adults today can't understand what the fuss is all about. Their lives are colorblind. They have gay friends and straight friends. They have good values, but they don't stay with the church," he says. "The gay-rights battle isn't the main reason, but it's one of them. They don't see in their church a lens to see the world." And people of all ages "are really tired of all this" fighting. "Most people just want to get on with thinking about Jesus."
Overall, this was a well balanced piece that's worth taking time to read thoroughly.
Barbara Brown Taylor, 55, left the Episcopal priesthood, observing that "human beings never behave more badly toward one another than when they believe they are protecting God."
Surveys have shown that most of the growing denominations and non-denominational community "Bible churches" are theologically conservative, with no openly gay clergy or no same-sex unions blessed.
Once, black people, women and homosexuals were viewed the same way by the leading theologians of the times: "They were all cursed by God in Scripture, inferior in moral character and willfully sinful and deserving punishment," says the Rev. Jack Rogers, former head of the Presbyterian Church (USA) and author of a new book, Jesus, the Bible and Homosexuality.
Eventually, most churches found a biblical basis for changing their stance on race and gender but not on homosexuality.
"Young adults today can't understand what the fuss is all about. Their lives are colorblind. They have gay friends and straight friends. They have good values, but they don't stay with the church," he says. "The gay-rights battle isn't the main reason, but it's one of them. They don't see in their church a lens to see the world." And people of all ages "are really tired of all this" fighting. "Most people just want to get on with thinking about Jesus."
Overall, this was a well balanced piece that's worth taking time to read thoroughly.
June 13, 2006
Naming Names
The Boston Globe has a story about the work of a website called KnowThyNeighbor.org. They put together a serchable database containing names of people who signed the petition for a Massachusetts constitutional amendment to outlaw gay marriage. The group is now working on a similar data base in Florida.
I like it!
Why shouldn't people be accountable for their actions. The activists who are working very hard to promote GLBT equality are putting their names out there for the cause. I could write this blog anonymously, but I choose not to because I'm perfectly willing to stand behind what I write and be accountable for it.
It's easy to hide behind the shroud of anonymity and discriminate against someone else's rights, but it might not be quite so easy when your name gets attached to it.
I like it!
Why shouldn't people be accountable for their actions. The activists who are working very hard to promote GLBT equality are putting their names out there for the cause. I could write this blog anonymously, but I choose not to because I'm perfectly willing to stand behind what I write and be accountable for it.
It's easy to hide behind the shroud of anonymity and discriminate against someone else's rights, but it might not be quite so easy when your name gets attached to it.
June 12, 2006
Be Transgendered At Your Own Risk
The Yahoo group "Teach The Facts" posts a lot of interesting articles that I wind up linking to, and this one regarding transgendered people especially moved me.
According to this story, the murder rate of transgendered persons is 17 times the national average, the highest rate of any minority group.
"It's ignorance, more than anything else, that creates fear," said Vicky Ortega, who founded LOTUS and also works as a health education specialist at the Gay and Lesbian Center of Los Angeles. LOTUS is the League of Trans-Unified Sisters, a support group of transgender people working to change society's attitudes toward them. I was not able to find a website for them, but if anyone knows of one, I would be happy to post it here.
I'm not going to pretend to have any more than the most cursory understanding of transgender issues, but I do know that they are people too and deserve every right that I enjoy and should be treated with no less respect than anyone else. The problems here are a lot worse that name-calling and discrimination and need to be taken very seriously.
According to this story, the murder rate of transgendered persons is 17 times the national average, the highest rate of any minority group.
"It's ignorance, more than anything else, that creates fear," said Vicky Ortega, who founded LOTUS and also works as a health education specialist at the Gay and Lesbian Center of Los Angeles. LOTUS is the League of Trans-Unified Sisters, a support group of transgender people working to change society's attitudes toward them. I was not able to find a website for them, but if anyone knows of one, I would be happy to post it here.
I'm not going to pretend to have any more than the most cursory understanding of transgender issues, but I do know that they are people too and deserve every right that I enjoy and should be treated with no less respect than anyone else. The problems here are a lot worse that name-calling and discrimination and need to be taken very seriously.
June 11, 2006
Media coverage of "Love Won Out" Conference & Protest-Updated
The Washington Times ran this story about yesterday's event. From a paper known for a strong right-wing slant, this piece was reasonably well balanced.
The Washington Post did not run anything (at least not that I could find online) but they did have a story about today's Gay Pride festival in downtown DC. Perhaps they have a quota of one gay story per day.
Bruce Garret, whom I also met yesterday, has a brief writeup and photos from yesterday's protest up on his blog. Fortunately for you readers, I'm not in any of the pictures.
As Bruce mentions in his post, Steve Boese attended the conference and has the first in a series of posts up where he will share his impressions of the event. Boese is apparently open to the ex-gay concept and shares this about the rules regarding the conference:
"I was aware that conference organizers do a bag search as attendees enter the premises, and folks found to be carrying gay-affirming pamphlets, cards, or tracts may either have them confiscated or be asked to leave. Registration requires attendees to agree that LWO organizers reserve the right to remove anyone from the event without cause, and that any behavior perceived to be disruptive (including offering a gay-affirming pamphlet to a fellow attendee) would trigger removal."
There was only one point of view offered to people inside the church, which made what went on outside the church even more important.
The Washington Post did not run anything (at least not that I could find online) but they did have a story about today's Gay Pride festival in downtown DC. Perhaps they have a quota of one gay story per day.
Bruce Garret, whom I also met yesterday, has a brief writeup and photos from yesterday's protest up on his blog. Fortunately for you readers, I'm not in any of the pictures.
As Bruce mentions in his post, Steve Boese attended the conference and has the first in a series of posts up where he will share his impressions of the event. Boese is apparently open to the ex-gay concept and shares this about the rules regarding the conference:
"I was aware that conference organizers do a bag search as attendees enter the premises, and folks found to be carrying gay-affirming pamphlets, cards, or tracts may either have them confiscated or be asked to leave. Registration requires attendees to agree that LWO organizers reserve the right to remove anyone from the event without cause, and that any behavior perceived to be disruptive (including offering a gay-affirming pamphlet to a fellow attendee) would trigger removal."
There was only one point of view offered to people inside the church, which made what went on outside the church even more important.
June 10, 2006
Demonstrating Against "Love Won Out" Conference
As I was driving toward today’s vigil to protest the “Love Won Out” anti-gay conference being held in Silver Spring, Maryland, I wondered what kind of turnout I would find. After all, it was not quite 8:00 AM on a Saturday morning, a great time to sleep in and recover from the week just ended.
I was thrilled to see dozens of colorful signs lining both sides of the road in front of Immanuel’s Church as I pulled up. Some of them said:
“Another Marylander Against Demonizing Gay Americans”
“Love Welcomes All”
“Reparative Therapy is Neither”
“Homosexuality Is Not a Disorder”
“Focus on Fairness”
“Straight, But Not Narrow” (obviously a personal favorite)
By the time the press conference began around 9:30 AM, well over 100 people had gathered to support fairness and equality and condemn the practice of trying to “change” homosexuals promoted by the conference ready to begin only a few yards away.
Dan Furmansky, the director of Equality Maryland, opened with a few comments and introduced each speaker. At one point, he said “James Dobson, (the conference was sponsored by his Focus on the Family organization) you are not welcome in Maryland! Go back to Colorado!” I would agree with that except I don’t have anything against the GLBT population of Colorado.
One of the speakers was Harry Knox, the Director of the Human Rights Campaign’s Religion and Faith Program. Knox is a former pastor of a United Methodist Church in Georgia. He was also the Executive Director of Equality Georgia and program director of Freedom to Marry. Knox told the crowd and cameras (two local television stations shot footage), “God made me gay and called me good.”
A representative of National Black Justice Coalition (I did not catch her name) added that the group across the street was representative of a “cult of the annihilation of the authentic self.”
Maryland State Delegate Gareth Murray, who represents the district where the conference was being held, pointed out “Today it’s the gay community. What community are we going after next?” Murray sharply condemned the purpose of the conference, speaking from his background as a minister and a mental health professional.
Dr. Stephen Eckstrand, a member of the local PFLAG chapter, spoke about his two children; a lesbian daughter and a left-handed son. He pointed out that, “until the latter half of the twentieth century, people considered left handed individuals to be unlucky, clumsy, and even abnormal.” Fortunately society has moved beyond that, and Dr. Eckstrand expressed his hope that society would also grow past its failure to love and accept gays and lesbians.
I also had the pleasure of meeting writer and activist Wayne Besen, author of the book “Anything But Straight.” Besen just this past week announced the formation of the organization “Truth Wins Out and was there to support the vigil. Like his book, Truth Wins Out is dedicated to refuting the lies groups like Focus on the Family propagate to wrongly influence people. Besen wrote a piece earlier this week about the conference where he said, “Unfortunately, it will be a bastion of misinformation that flies in the face of modern psychology and presents a distorted picture of gay life filled with stereotypes in the guise of science.”
The final word is this post goes to Dr. Lise Van Susteren, whom I also ran into at Equality Maryland’s Lobby Day back in February at the state capitol in Annapolis. Dr. Van Susteren, a forensic psychiatrist, offered this profound thought, “Religion must not be used as the fig leaf to hide prejudice.”
How about it, Dr. Dobson?
I was thrilled to see dozens of colorful signs lining both sides of the road in front of Immanuel’s Church as I pulled up. Some of them said:
“Another Marylander Against Demonizing Gay Americans”
“Love Welcomes All”
“Reparative Therapy is Neither”
“Homosexuality Is Not a Disorder”
“Focus on Fairness”
“Straight, But Not Narrow” (obviously a personal favorite)
By the time the press conference began around 9:30 AM, well over 100 people had gathered to support fairness and equality and condemn the practice of trying to “change” homosexuals promoted by the conference ready to begin only a few yards away.
Dan Furmansky, the director of Equality Maryland, opened with a few comments and introduced each speaker. At one point, he said “James Dobson, (the conference was sponsored by his Focus on the Family organization) you are not welcome in Maryland! Go back to Colorado!” I would agree with that except I don’t have anything against the GLBT population of Colorado.
One of the speakers was Harry Knox, the Director of the Human Rights Campaign’s Religion and Faith Program. Knox is a former pastor of a United Methodist Church in Georgia. He was also the Executive Director of Equality Georgia and program director of Freedom to Marry. Knox told the crowd and cameras (two local television stations shot footage), “God made me gay and called me good.”
A representative of National Black Justice Coalition (I did not catch her name) added that the group across the street was representative of a “cult of the annihilation of the authentic self.”
Maryland State Delegate Gareth Murray, who represents the district where the conference was being held, pointed out “Today it’s the gay community. What community are we going after next?” Murray sharply condemned the purpose of the conference, speaking from his background as a minister and a mental health professional.
Dr. Stephen Eckstrand, a member of the local PFLAG chapter, spoke about his two children; a lesbian daughter and a left-handed son. He pointed out that, “until the latter half of the twentieth century, people considered left handed individuals to be unlucky, clumsy, and even abnormal.” Fortunately society has moved beyond that, and Dr. Eckstrand expressed his hope that society would also grow past its failure to love and accept gays and lesbians.
I also had the pleasure of meeting writer and activist Wayne Besen, author of the book “Anything But Straight.” Besen just this past week announced the formation of the organization “Truth Wins Out and was there to support the vigil. Like his book, Truth Wins Out is dedicated to refuting the lies groups like Focus on the Family propagate to wrongly influence people. Besen wrote a piece earlier this week about the conference where he said, “Unfortunately, it will be a bastion of misinformation that flies in the face of modern psychology and presents a distorted picture of gay life filled with stereotypes in the guise of science.”
The final word is this post goes to Dr. Lise Van Susteren, whom I also ran into at Equality Maryland’s Lobby Day back in February at the state capitol in Annapolis. Dr. Van Susteren, a forensic psychiatrist, offered this profound thought, “Religion must not be used as the fig leaf to hide prejudice.”
How about it, Dr. Dobson?
June 08, 2006
"Christians Must Do More to Combat AIDS, Comfort Victims
That's the title of an essay written by Kay Warren for CNN. She is the wife of Rick Warren, author of the wildly popular "The Purpose Driven Life." Kay Warren is executive director of their home church's HIV/AIDS initiative where she has learned quite a bit about dealing with the disease and the attitudes of her fellow Christians.
She writes, "Twenty-five years into the AIDS pandemic, being HIV-positive still carries stigma and shame. But God cares for the sick and so must we. It's not a sin to be sick. The Bible tells us Jesus was repeatedly "filled with compassion" as he encountered broken bodies and broken minds. While polite society vigorously avoided contact with those they considered diseased outcasts, Jesus responded in a radical way: He cared, he touched, he healed."
Here we go again with Jesus and all that compassion stuff.
I just hope it catches on more in His church.
She writes, "Twenty-five years into the AIDS pandemic, being HIV-positive still carries stigma and shame. But God cares for the sick and so must we. It's not a sin to be sick. The Bible tells us Jesus was repeatedly "filled with compassion" as he encountered broken bodies and broken minds. While polite society vigorously avoided contact with those they considered diseased outcasts, Jesus responded in a radical way: He cared, he touched, he healed."
Here we go again with Jesus and all that compassion stuff.
I just hope it catches on more in His church.
June 07, 2006
FMA Defeated.....For Now
Today the U. S. Senate voted 49-48 on a motion to end debate on the proposed constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex marriage, 11 votes short of the 60 needed to bring it to a vote on the floor of the senate.
This was an important victory for those who are fighting to avoid making discrimination a part of the U. S. Constitution, but it's merely a battle won. The war will continue and perhaps intensify.
Think I'm exaggerating? Check out these quotes:
"We're going to continue to press this issue," Colorado Republican Sen. Wayne Allard said. "If it's up to me, we'll have a vote on this issue every year."
"We're making progress, and we're not going to stop until marriage between a man and a woman is protected," said Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kansas.
Richard Land, head of the Southern Baptist Convention Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, said failure to pass a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage would be "a catastrophe of unimaginable proportions for children" in a Monday radio broadcast.
President Bush, in a 10-minute speech on Monday, said "An amendment to the Constitution is necessary because activist courts have left our nation with no other choice."
Of course, the right-wing defines "activist courts" or "activist judges" as ones who don't support their views.
Regarding the Senate vote: "It is true what this vote will do will be to help the voters identify who is and is not supportive of the family," said Dr. James C. Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family. "And I think those that are not are going to have to answer for it."
Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.), "Marriage ranks as one of our most important social institutions," he writes. "Americans have made it clear that they want to protect it against activist judges like those who sit on the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts."
Folks, these people are not going away just because they lost a vote. Some of them truly believe they have the moral high ground and that they are charged with protecting their version of God's will from being violated. Others are seizing this issue as their ticket to power and wealth. Either way, they're not going to quit.
It is critical that those 47 senators who voted against bringing the amendment to a vote know that their constituents have their backs, and their vote.
It is also cricital that people understand that the attidute of treating homosexuals as second-class (if that high) citizens is NOT reflective of all Christians. There are people who love God with all their hearts and feel the leading of the Holy Spirit to strive for equality for ALL his people. We need to continue to raise up our voices and speak to God's love, not this spirit of exclusion the religious right wants people to think he is all about.
This was an important victory for those who are fighting to avoid making discrimination a part of the U. S. Constitution, but it's merely a battle won. The war will continue and perhaps intensify.
Think I'm exaggerating? Check out these quotes:
"We're going to continue to press this issue," Colorado Republican Sen. Wayne Allard said. "If it's up to me, we'll have a vote on this issue every year."
"We're making progress, and we're not going to stop until marriage between a man and a woman is protected," said Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kansas.
Richard Land, head of the Southern Baptist Convention Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, said failure to pass a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage would be "a catastrophe of unimaginable proportions for children" in a Monday radio broadcast.
President Bush, in a 10-minute speech on Monday, said "An amendment to the Constitution is necessary because activist courts have left our nation with no other choice."
Of course, the right-wing defines "activist courts" or "activist judges" as ones who don't support their views.
Regarding the Senate vote: "It is true what this vote will do will be to help the voters identify who is and is not supportive of the family," said Dr. James C. Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family. "And I think those that are not are going to have to answer for it."
Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.), "Marriage ranks as one of our most important social institutions," he writes. "Americans have made it clear that they want to protect it against activist judges like those who sit on the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts."
Folks, these people are not going away just because they lost a vote. Some of them truly believe they have the moral high ground and that they are charged with protecting their version of God's will from being violated. Others are seizing this issue as their ticket to power and wealth. Either way, they're not going to quit.
It is critical that those 47 senators who voted against bringing the amendment to a vote know that their constituents have their backs, and their vote.
It is also cricital that people understand that the attidute of treating homosexuals as second-class (if that high) citizens is NOT reflective of all Christians. There are people who love God with all their hearts and feel the leading of the Holy Spirit to strive for equality for ALL his people. We need to continue to raise up our voices and speak to God's love, not this spirit of exclusion the religious right wants people to think he is all about.
June 06, 2006
"Ex-Gay" Leaders Invited to White House
When President Bush announced his support for the constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex marriage yesterday, he did it with in the company of Alan Chambers and Randy Thomas from Exodus International. Exodus is an organization at the forefront of claiming to "lead people out of homosexuality."
In this outstanding column by Michelle Goldbert of The Huffington Post, the writer offers this thought:
"If, as virtually all mainstream experts believe, Exodus is wrong, then Bush's attempt to rally support against gay families is simply gratuitously cruel. But mainstream experts carry little weight with this administration. Once again, Bush is using his position to symbolically subvert science in favor of a faith-based parallel reality. Gay people will suffer the most from what he is doing, but truth itself is also a casualty. "
In this outstanding column by Michelle Goldbert of The Huffington Post, the writer offers this thought:
"If, as virtually all mainstream experts believe, Exodus is wrong, then Bush's attempt to rally support against gay families is simply gratuitously cruel. But mainstream experts carry little weight with this administration. Once again, Bush is using his position to symbolically subvert science in favor of a faith-based parallel reality. Gay people will suffer the most from what he is doing, but truth itself is also a casualty. "
June 05, 2006
Wide-Ranging Takes on Same-Sex Marriage Ban
If you're even an occassional visitor to this blog, you know where I stand on the issue of same-sex marriage and the proposed Constitutional amendment currently under consideration in the U. S. Senate that would ban it across the nation.
Courtesy of the political blog "The Moderate Voice," I found one of the best aggregations of opinions that I've come across regarding this issue, so I'm linking it here for your perusal.
Will Bush's Push for Gay Marriage Ban Backfire?
There are even some conservatives that are seeing through this as nothing more but a shallow political ploy, and there is some thought that even this won't galvanize the Religious Right to support the President or the Republicans?
Where else can they go? How far away could we be from a new political party with them as the base?
Courtesy of the political blog "The Moderate Voice," I found one of the best aggregations of opinions that I've come across regarding this issue, so I'm linking it here for your perusal.
Will Bush's Push for Gay Marriage Ban Backfire?
There are even some conservatives that are seeing through this as nothing more but a shallow political ploy, and there is some thought that even this won't galvanize the Religious Right to support the President or the Republicans?
Where else can they go? How far away could we be from a new political party with them as the base?
June 03, 2006
"Ex-Gay" Conference Coming to My Area
I am very disappointed to report that one of Focus on the Family's "Love Won Out" conferences is being held on Saturday, June 10 only a few miles from my home. It is being hosted by one of the larger independent churches in the area, Immanuel's Church in Silver Spring, Maryland. For those of you who haven't heard of them, this is where homosexuals can go to get "cured" of their same-sex desires. At least that's what Dr. Dobson and his folks want everyone to believe.
I am pleased, though, that there will be an organized opposition vigil in front of the church both before and after the day-long conference. It is being put together by Equality Maryland, the DC chapter of PFLAG, Teach the Facts, a group promoting education about homosexuality in Montgomery County Schools, and Christ Congregational Church, a UCC member.
I'll be participating in what is promised to be a silent and respectful vigil. I believe it is important for GLBT people and their allies to demonstrate their opposition to these farcical exercises whenever they come to town. Anyone in the DC area that is interested in participating in the June 10 vigil can contact Rev. Sandy Dodson at sandy@christ-ucc.org.
For more information on "Love Won Out," click here.
I am pleased, though, that there will be an organized opposition vigil in front of the church both before and after the day-long conference. It is being put together by Equality Maryland, the DC chapter of PFLAG, Teach the Facts, a group promoting education about homosexuality in Montgomery County Schools, and Christ Congregational Church, a UCC member.
I'll be participating in what is promised to be a silent and respectful vigil. I believe it is important for GLBT people and their allies to demonstrate their opposition to these farcical exercises whenever they come to town. Anyone in the DC area that is interested in participating in the June 10 vigil can contact Rev. Sandy Dodson at sandy@christ-ucc.org.
For more information on "Love Won Out," click here.
June 02, 2006
It's About Protecting Votes, Not Marriage
There is an excellent column on EthicsDaily.com about next week's Senate vote on the Marriage Protection Amendment that would restrict marriage to one man and one woman in all 50 states.
I've linked to columns by this writer, Jim Evans, who is a pastor in Alabama, and he again nails it with this one:
"The Marriage Protection Act is not about protecting marriage. It's about getting out the vote.
Never mind that it demonizes a segment of our population in a legislative effort no one believes will really happen. It works, and that's what matters, apparently."
I have yet to see any pundits on either side of the isle who think this Amendment will come close to receiving the 60% vote it needs to pass. Even if it did, 35 states would need to ratify it before it became a part of the Constitution.
It is painfully obvious that conservative Republicans are pandering to their dissatisfied religious right constituency. Could those voters actually be so shallow and narrowly focused to fall for that ploy? Anyone who is gullable enough to be influenced by this maneuver should have their right to vote taken away until they get a clue.
I've linked to columns by this writer, Jim Evans, who is a pastor in Alabama, and he again nails it with this one:
"The Marriage Protection Act is not about protecting marriage. It's about getting out the vote.
Never mind that it demonizes a segment of our population in a legislative effort no one believes will really happen. It works, and that's what matters, apparently."
I have yet to see any pundits on either side of the isle who think this Amendment will come close to receiving the 60% vote it needs to pass. Even if it did, 35 states would need to ratify it before it became a part of the Constitution.
It is painfully obvious that conservative Republicans are pandering to their dissatisfied religious right constituency. Could those voters actually be so shallow and narrowly focused to fall for that ploy? Anyone who is gullable enough to be influenced by this maneuver should have their right to vote taken away until they get a clue.
June 01, 2006
One God, One Body, In Service to Christ
In my latest column for Gay Christian Outreach, I share my thoughts about the divisions in the church caused by divergent views on homosexuality, and what each side can do to bridge the gap and move closer to God's will for our lives.
May 31, 2006
Brotherhood: Better Late Than Ever
This is my contribution to a special event, Blogging for LGBT Families Day. To see others, check out Mombian.
I was born into a LGBT family, but it was well into adolescence before anyone let me in on it.
My brother Michael was born in Washington, DC in June, 1950. Our mother was only 18 years old when he was born and did not stay with his father for very long. As a result, Michael was adopted by my aunt and uncle. By the time I was born in December, 1958, also in Washington, DC, my mother had remarried and I was raised as an only child in an allegedly “normal” home. My aunt and uncle had relocated to Florida, and later Georgia, while my family was anchored in the DC suburbs.
When I was a youngster, my aunt and uncle would come for visits with their three children. To avoid upsetting the perception of normalcy, Michael was always referred to, like the other two, as my cousin. Even as a naïve child, however, I could tell he looked nothing like his “siblings” and bore a striking resemblance to my mother and to me, but I never questioned it.
Michael had a tumultuous childhood (imagine that) and by the time he was in his teens had become quite rebellious. I had my first opportunity to spend extended time with him in the summer of 1966. He stayed with my grandmother (whom he grew very close to) in DC to take some advanced placement classes at Georgetown University. I thought my “cousin” was the coolest guy in the world! He was a lot of fun to be around. Michael was so smart, had a sharp sarcastic wit (one of the few traits we share) and showed interest in taking me under his wing.
During that summer, our mother taught me that Michael, although he was smart and fun, was NOT someone I should seek to emulate. He was a “troubled young man” who was “going to find trouble.” Once Michael graduated high school, he moved out on his own. He had long been chafing under the strict fundamentalist views of my aunt and uncle. Michael had been told repeatedly he was heading for a life that would bring him nothing but pain and unhappiness and he eventually found plenty of both.
Michael continued to visit my home, and we savored our time together. In some ways, we seemed to be kindred spirits. It was just so natural, so easy being with him and hanging out, just like having a brother. Little did I know I truly had one.
I had noticed something different about Michael, though, as I grew into adolescence. He didn’t seem to be very “manly.” I had been taught that men were supposed to like sports, tools, and cars. Michael, however, liked visiting art galleries, watching foreign films, and loved Barbara Streisand. I was sheltered enough not to connect those dots myself, but my mother finally told me the whole story about Michael.
It wasn’t one of those scenes out of a movie where she sat me down and said, “There’s something you need to know.” It was on a Saturday afternoon following a particularly nasty fight she had with my father. Mom was feeling sorry for herself and wanted my sympathy too. She walked me through some of the lowlights of her life and eventually told me about how she gave up Michael when he was born and that my aunt and uncle had adopted him. Least I get too excited, she also pointed out that he was destined to burn in hell because he was homosexual.
Neither of these facts was shocking. They actually helped some things make more sense. While my 15-year old mind was trying to get a grip on this newly clarified reality, I was instructed in no uncertain terms that this was the deep, dark secret of the family and NEVER to be uttered to another living soul. We had to maintain our family’s reputation after all. As I later learned, Michael had received the same instructions from our mother years earlier. She was a woman not to be trifled with, so we both toed the line. He later defied her enough to talk to me about our brotherhood, but it went no further while she still drew breath.
For the next two decades, Michael popped in and out of my life. Once free of the shackles placed upon him growing up, he sought out his niche in the world and began discovering who he really was. That journey led Michael to DC, San Francisco, Baltimore, New York City, Cincinnati, Toronto, Buffalo, and finally Rochester, NY. Unfortunately, he explored some of the darker sides of being a gay man. Michael made friends across North America, but drifted in and out of relationships.
He finally slowed down and planted roots in western New York State. That was not a result of any new clarity of purpose. Rather, he was fighting cancer and was too sick to keep traveling. This led to his final move, from Buffalo to Rochester because it turns out that Rochester is a great place to be if you are seriously ill.
While my brother struggled with his health and was completely out of touch, I had my hands full acting as caregiver for our mother. She was admitted to a nursing home in 1991, had a brief upturn, then passed away in October, 1992. Our grandmother had passed away only two months earlier, and my father had been gone for several years, so I was left to lean on the support of my closest friends to bury mom and move on with my life. This began a chain of events that finally brought Michael and I together as brothers.
Shortly after my mother’s death, I met Bette and we decided to get married. It was the first important decision I had made without mom’s direct influence, and it led to the second one. I decided it was finally time to break through the thick fog of dysfunction that had engulfed both Michael and me. I wanted my brother to be part of my wedding, the day that would begin a new and happier phase of my life.
I contacted my aunt and obtained an address for Michael in Rochester. I sent him an invitation and included my phone number. A few days later, Bette answered the phone and said “It’s Michael.” For the first time, we spoke not as kids still under our mother’s thumb, but as independent adults, man-to-man. He asked me how I would introduce him. That was a fair question since at my first wedding, my mother had deftly avoided identifying him as anything more than a miscellaneous family member.
I’m happy that I did not hesitate in replying “As my brother.” It was interesting telling my friends that, contrary to what they had always known, I had a brother. It seemed like something one would see in a soap opera. After the wedding, Michael entertained my friends and in-laws with bizarre (but true) stories about our family, some of which I had never heard myself. Later on, we had the first face-to-face adult conversation of our lives. In one amazing weekend, I had gained a wife and a brother.
It took us awhile to get used to our new relationship, and we didn’t contact each other very often. After about two years of sporadic communications, Bette and I traveled to Rochester to spend a weekend with Michael, and he reciprocated by visiting us the next year. We built upon the bonding that had begun after the wedding and started to understand what being brothers was all about.
Bette and I never made it back to Rochester, but Michael tried to visit us at least once a year. Bette, who was truly an only child, grew to love him like the brother she never had. As time moved along, Michael no longer came alone. He had met a wonderful man named Mike, and we grew to love him too. They just made such a darned cute couple we could hardly stand it.
It warmed my heart so much that Michael had finally found someone to love and be loved by just like I had. He and I had broken through the boundaries of dysfunction and narrow-mindedness that engulfed us growing up and made our own little family. Bette and I knew we could turn to them if we were in need, and I believe they felt the same way about us.
That theory was tested on October 11, 2004, when Bette suddenly passed away at the young age of 53. Along with the shock, I felt empty and alone. I called Mike with the horrible news that night (I always talk to him on the phone because Michael’s hearing is severely damaged), and they were on my doorstep the next afternoon. The memorial service for Bette was in Illinois, and Mike and Michael made the round trip with me, taking a week out of their lives with no warning to be with me and give comfort and support.
One moment I will never forget was when I came out of the funeral home with Bette’s remains (she had requested to be cremated upon her passing). Mike and Michael had waited in the car, prepared to begin the trip to Illinois. As I approached the car, Michael met me, put his arms around me, and held me while I cried like a baby on his shoulder. We always love joking around, but when it was time to get serious, my brother was there big time, both physically and emotionally.
Isn’t that what the whole concept of family is truly about?
As I write this, I am returning home from a visit to Rochester with my wife Brenda (God richly blessed me with a new partner after calling Bette home). Mike and Michael were the first people I knew to meet Brenda when they visited Maryland shortly after we started dating. I even got the big brother talk from Michael about not rushing into a new relationship. They both see how happy we are and have accepted her into our strange little family with open arms.
When I hear all the rhetoric about “preserving the traditional family,” I cringe. I think we should strive to do a lot better than that! Michael and I both grew up in “traditional families” and spent much of our adult lives recovering from it. What we have now, that’s a family!
As long as you’re still on this earth, it’s never too late to have a family, even if you have to wait for it like Michael and I did.
I was born into a LGBT family, but it was well into adolescence before anyone let me in on it.
My brother Michael was born in Washington, DC in June, 1950. Our mother was only 18 years old when he was born and did not stay with his father for very long. As a result, Michael was adopted by my aunt and uncle. By the time I was born in December, 1958, also in Washington, DC, my mother had remarried and I was raised as an only child in an allegedly “normal” home. My aunt and uncle had relocated to Florida, and later Georgia, while my family was anchored in the DC suburbs.
When I was a youngster, my aunt and uncle would come for visits with their three children. To avoid upsetting the perception of normalcy, Michael was always referred to, like the other two, as my cousin. Even as a naïve child, however, I could tell he looked nothing like his “siblings” and bore a striking resemblance to my mother and to me, but I never questioned it.
Michael had a tumultuous childhood (imagine that) and by the time he was in his teens had become quite rebellious. I had my first opportunity to spend extended time with him in the summer of 1966. He stayed with my grandmother (whom he grew very close to) in DC to take some advanced placement classes at Georgetown University. I thought my “cousin” was the coolest guy in the world! He was a lot of fun to be around. Michael was so smart, had a sharp sarcastic wit (one of the few traits we share) and showed interest in taking me under his wing.
During that summer, our mother taught me that Michael, although he was smart and fun, was NOT someone I should seek to emulate. He was a “troubled young man” who was “going to find trouble.” Once Michael graduated high school, he moved out on his own. He had long been chafing under the strict fundamentalist views of my aunt and uncle. Michael had been told repeatedly he was heading for a life that would bring him nothing but pain and unhappiness and he eventually found plenty of both.
Michael continued to visit my home, and we savored our time together. In some ways, we seemed to be kindred spirits. It was just so natural, so easy being with him and hanging out, just like having a brother. Little did I know I truly had one.
I had noticed something different about Michael, though, as I grew into adolescence. He didn’t seem to be very “manly.” I had been taught that men were supposed to like sports, tools, and cars. Michael, however, liked visiting art galleries, watching foreign films, and loved Barbara Streisand. I was sheltered enough not to connect those dots myself, but my mother finally told me the whole story about Michael.
It wasn’t one of those scenes out of a movie where she sat me down and said, “There’s something you need to know.” It was on a Saturday afternoon following a particularly nasty fight she had with my father. Mom was feeling sorry for herself and wanted my sympathy too. She walked me through some of the lowlights of her life and eventually told me about how she gave up Michael when he was born and that my aunt and uncle had adopted him. Least I get too excited, she also pointed out that he was destined to burn in hell because he was homosexual.
Neither of these facts was shocking. They actually helped some things make more sense. While my 15-year old mind was trying to get a grip on this newly clarified reality, I was instructed in no uncertain terms that this was the deep, dark secret of the family and NEVER to be uttered to another living soul. We had to maintain our family’s reputation after all. As I later learned, Michael had received the same instructions from our mother years earlier. She was a woman not to be trifled with, so we both toed the line. He later defied her enough to talk to me about our brotherhood, but it went no further while she still drew breath.
For the next two decades, Michael popped in and out of my life. Once free of the shackles placed upon him growing up, he sought out his niche in the world and began discovering who he really was. That journey led Michael to DC, San Francisco, Baltimore, New York City, Cincinnati, Toronto, Buffalo, and finally Rochester, NY. Unfortunately, he explored some of the darker sides of being a gay man. Michael made friends across North America, but drifted in and out of relationships.
He finally slowed down and planted roots in western New York State. That was not a result of any new clarity of purpose. Rather, he was fighting cancer and was too sick to keep traveling. This led to his final move, from Buffalo to Rochester because it turns out that Rochester is a great place to be if you are seriously ill.
While my brother struggled with his health and was completely out of touch, I had my hands full acting as caregiver for our mother. She was admitted to a nursing home in 1991, had a brief upturn, then passed away in October, 1992. Our grandmother had passed away only two months earlier, and my father had been gone for several years, so I was left to lean on the support of my closest friends to bury mom and move on with my life. This began a chain of events that finally brought Michael and I together as brothers.
Shortly after my mother’s death, I met Bette and we decided to get married. It was the first important decision I had made without mom’s direct influence, and it led to the second one. I decided it was finally time to break through the thick fog of dysfunction that had engulfed both Michael and me. I wanted my brother to be part of my wedding, the day that would begin a new and happier phase of my life.
I contacted my aunt and obtained an address for Michael in Rochester. I sent him an invitation and included my phone number. A few days later, Bette answered the phone and said “It’s Michael.” For the first time, we spoke not as kids still under our mother’s thumb, but as independent adults, man-to-man. He asked me how I would introduce him. That was a fair question since at my first wedding, my mother had deftly avoided identifying him as anything more than a miscellaneous family member.
I’m happy that I did not hesitate in replying “As my brother.” It was interesting telling my friends that, contrary to what they had always known, I had a brother. It seemed like something one would see in a soap opera. After the wedding, Michael entertained my friends and in-laws with bizarre (but true) stories about our family, some of which I had never heard myself. Later on, we had the first face-to-face adult conversation of our lives. In one amazing weekend, I had gained a wife and a brother.
It took us awhile to get used to our new relationship, and we didn’t contact each other very often. After about two years of sporadic communications, Bette and I traveled to Rochester to spend a weekend with Michael, and he reciprocated by visiting us the next year. We built upon the bonding that had begun after the wedding and started to understand what being brothers was all about.
Bette and I never made it back to Rochester, but Michael tried to visit us at least once a year. Bette, who was truly an only child, grew to love him like the brother she never had. As time moved along, Michael no longer came alone. He had met a wonderful man named Mike, and we grew to love him too. They just made such a darned cute couple we could hardly stand it.
It warmed my heart so much that Michael had finally found someone to love and be loved by just like I had. He and I had broken through the boundaries of dysfunction and narrow-mindedness that engulfed us growing up and made our own little family. Bette and I knew we could turn to them if we were in need, and I believe they felt the same way about us.
That theory was tested on October 11, 2004, when Bette suddenly passed away at the young age of 53. Along with the shock, I felt empty and alone. I called Mike with the horrible news that night (I always talk to him on the phone because Michael’s hearing is severely damaged), and they were on my doorstep the next afternoon. The memorial service for Bette was in Illinois, and Mike and Michael made the round trip with me, taking a week out of their lives with no warning to be with me and give comfort and support.
One moment I will never forget was when I came out of the funeral home with Bette’s remains (she had requested to be cremated upon her passing). Mike and Michael had waited in the car, prepared to begin the trip to Illinois. As I approached the car, Michael met me, put his arms around me, and held me while I cried like a baby on his shoulder. We always love joking around, but when it was time to get serious, my brother was there big time, both physically and emotionally.
Isn’t that what the whole concept of family is truly about?
As I write this, I am returning home from a visit to Rochester with my wife Brenda (God richly blessed me with a new partner after calling Bette home). Mike and Michael were the first people I knew to meet Brenda when they visited Maryland shortly after we started dating. I even got the big brother talk from Michael about not rushing into a new relationship. They both see how happy we are and have accepted her into our strange little family with open arms.
When I hear all the rhetoric about “preserving the traditional family,” I cringe. I think we should strive to do a lot better than that! Michael and I both grew up in “traditional families” and spent much of our adult lives recovering from it. What we have now, that’s a family!
As long as you’re still on this earth, it’s never too late to have a family, even if you have to wait for it like Michael and I did.
May 30, 2006
"Thorns In the Rose Garden"
Wayne Besen is one of my favorite writers regarding GLBT issues, and his column this week again knocks it out of the park.
Besen discusses the political strategy President Bush is following. The master planner is Karl Rove, and he has been successful enough to get Bush elected twice, but Besen believes the bloom has come off the rose.
A cornerstone of Rove's strategy has been to smear opponents and promote fear, and the GLBT community has been a favorite target. He will go to that well again on Monday, when President Bush is scheduled to hold a press conference restating his support for the Constitutional Amendment that would prohibit same-sex marriage on the eve of the scheduled vote in the senate.
Besen writes, ".....it has always been easier to scare than to care. Rendering people blind is simpler than providing a positive vision. To me, Rove is a cheater - the Barry Bonds of politics. Homophobia and hysteria are the steroids and he injects the poison into the body politic at every opportunity."
Please contact your senators and let them know that if they fall for this tactic, they are at risk of losing your vote.
Besen discusses the political strategy President Bush is following. The master planner is Karl Rove, and he has been successful enough to get Bush elected twice, but Besen believes the bloom has come off the rose.
A cornerstone of Rove's strategy has been to smear opponents and promote fear, and the GLBT community has been a favorite target. He will go to that well again on Monday, when President Bush is scheduled to hold a press conference restating his support for the Constitutional Amendment that would prohibit same-sex marriage on the eve of the scheduled vote in the senate.
Besen writes, ".....it has always been easier to scare than to care. Rendering people blind is simpler than providing a positive vision. To me, Rove is a cheater - the Barry Bonds of politics. Homophobia and hysteria are the steroids and he injects the poison into the body politic at every opportunity."
Please contact your senators and let them know that if they fall for this tactic, they are at risk of losing your vote.
May 29, 2006
Strong Opposition to Federal Marriage Amendment
I'm back from a wonderful refreshing trip to visit my brother and his partner in Rochester, NY. It was great to get away, but it's time to get back to business.
Last week, the Washington Post printed a strong editorial (free registration required) opposing the federal constitutional amendment that would prohibit same-sex marriage all across the United States.
The Post did not opine of the merits of same-sex marriage, focusing its opposition on the process of amending the Constitution. The Post feels that there is absolutely no reason to take this matter out of the hands of the individual states. Here's the key point:
"On the merits, there is simply no case for an amendment that would write into the Constitution an express command to every state and federal official to discriminate against a class of people."
Well said. Hopefully some senators will consider the wisdom of this arguement and forego pandering to the Religious Right by voting against this grievous amendment that would make discrimination a part of this nation's fundamental laws.
Last week, the Washington Post printed a strong editorial (free registration required) opposing the federal constitutional amendment that would prohibit same-sex marriage all across the United States.
The Post did not opine of the merits of same-sex marriage, focusing its opposition on the process of amending the Constitution. The Post feels that there is absolutely no reason to take this matter out of the hands of the individual states. Here's the key point:
"On the merits, there is simply no case for an amendment that would write into the Constitution an express command to every state and federal official to discriminate against a class of people."
Well said. Hopefully some senators will consider the wisdom of this arguement and forego pandering to the Religious Right by voting against this grievous amendment that would make discrimination a part of this nation's fundamental laws.
May 24, 2006
Gone Fishin'
Actually no fish will be harmed on our trip, but I'll be away for a few days visiting my brother in beautiful Rochester, NY. I'll be back blogging on Monday night.
For all my American readers, have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. For everyone else around the globe, have a wonderful time doing whatever it is you normally do.
For all my American readers, have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. For everyone else around the globe, have a wonderful time doing whatever it is you normally do.
May 23, 2006
"Even deep in Dixie, gays sense acceptance"
I ran across an interesting Associated Press story via USA Today. It focuses on the state of the GLBT community in Alabama.
On the one hand, things aren't so good. The state is certain to overwhelmingly vote to strengthen its prohibition against same-sex marriage in early June. A national gay magazine says Alabama is the worst state in America for gays and lesbians. A gubanatorial candidate has called homosexuality evil.
Not so good.
Despite that, however, the GLBT community has made some progress toward acceptance and eventually equal rights. There's a long way to go, but there is a growing feeling that more opportunities exist for gay and lesbians to have a full, happy life in Alabama. Check out the article to find out why.
On the one hand, things aren't so good. The state is certain to overwhelmingly vote to strengthen its prohibition against same-sex marriage in early June. A national gay magazine says Alabama is the worst state in America for gays and lesbians. A gubanatorial candidate has called homosexuality evil.
Not so good.
Despite that, however, the GLBT community has made some progress toward acceptance and eventually equal rights. There's a long way to go, but there is a growing feeling that more opportunities exist for gay and lesbians to have a full, happy life in Alabama. Check out the article to find out why.
May 22, 2006
A Look Inside the "Double Closet"
As many of you know, it can be challenging if you are a GLBT person living in the United States these days. Imagine in this post-9/11 society being Arab-American AND GLBT.
That, folks, in an open invitation for harassment and discrimination in today's America. This story from AlterNet tells the story of a few individuals who are dealing with that on a daily basis.
Of course, it would probably be even tougher back in their families' native lands. There are some horror stories told in this piece about treatment of GLBT people in the Middle East.
The story also tells us about a group named AL-GAMEA that has been started with the goal of acting like a PFLAG organization for Arab-Americans.
They clearly have their work cut out for them.
That, folks, in an open invitation for harassment and discrimination in today's America. This story from AlterNet tells the story of a few individuals who are dealing with that on a daily basis.
Of course, it would probably be even tougher back in their families' native lands. There are some horror stories told in this piece about treatment of GLBT people in the Middle East.
The story also tells us about a group named AL-GAMEA that has been started with the goal of acting like a PFLAG organization for Arab-Americans.
They clearly have their work cut out for them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
