A day can come along without warning that suddenly changes the course of our lives. October 11, 2004 was mine--the day my beloved wife Bette (pronounced Betty) left this world and our home in Maryland and was taken up to heaven.
As with most life changing events, this came as a complete surprise. Bette had struggled with her health and been in constant pain for several years. She had been feeling better in recent days, though, and she was excited about our plans to move into a new home at the end of October. The main limitation Bette still faced was her stamina—she got tired and out of breath very easily.
She had a flare up on October 10 and needed to take some of her pain medication. This resulted in Bette sleeping most of the day while I watched football. She enjoyed the first half of that evening’s Redskins-Ravens game with me before heading to bed. I stayed up to watch our favorite team, the Ravens, win before I retired for the night.
When I climbed into bed, Bette asked, "Did we win?" I answered, "Yep, we sure did." "Good," she said, "I love you" and then rolled back over. I responded, "I love you too baby girl. Good night." Bette was in a very sound sleep when I left for work that morning, not unusual since our body clocks were different and she was physically unable to work. I kissed her goodbye and headed out to begin my commute.
I felt very good about life that morning. The prior few months had been the best of our marriage. We had endured some very stressful times in recent years, but most of that was behind us. We were able to enjoy some excellent quality time with each other and looked forward to many more years of the same.
Bette never woke up, passing away sometime during the afternoon of October 11. Her heart, under such strain because of her physical problems, finally gave out. When I found her body that afternoon, she was snuggled up in a very comfortable position. She obviously felt no pain and drifted off to heaven very peacefully. She had passed from this existence more excited and hopeful about the future than she had ever been. We should all be so fortunate. Bette did not have to endure those hopes and dreams being dashed because of yet more physical limitations brought on by a weak, tired heart.
Every couple likes to tell you that they share a love like no other, but we actually did. Nothing was more important to me than my Bette, and nothing came ahead of her Jimmy. Everything was better when we were together and nothing was quite as good when we were apart. We never needed a "break" from each other. During our final spring and summer together, our favorite activity was simply holding each other and savoring the amazing level of intimacy we shared.
I learned so much about what it means to be a man, a partner, a husband, and a lover from Bette. She never fully realized the depth of her wisdom. Bette knew when to give me a hug and when to apply a swift kick in my pants. She taught me how to take responsibility for my life and not to hide behind blaming others for my shortcomings. Bette was one of the strongest people I have ever known. She gave me the strength to try new things, most of all writing.
Bette believed in my writing long before I ever did. We sat in a department store cafeteria one night talking, and she kept prodding me with the question "What do you really want to do?" When I finally answered writing, she nodded, having already known that herself. She knew me so much better than I knew myself.
As I began the sportswriting part of my career, she was my editor. As Bette read more about basketball and football, she learned about the games and grew to enjoy watching them with me. Two of the highlights of our time together were sharing the Ravens’ Super Bowl victory and especially The University of Maryland’s NCAA basketball championship.
Most of all, Bette taught me unconditional love. I had never received that from anyone. My mother loved me tremendously, but always pointed out how I had to "earn" that in her eyes or else she would withhold it. Bette taught me how to receive love unconditionally, and it became very easy for me to love her in that manner.
I could never have asked for a partner more devoted or that could love me more completely. Now, twelve years to the day after I met her, she was gone and I felt very much alone.
I have learned a lot about myself and about life in general in the last year, and the first enlightenment I received was that I was far from alone. My best friend Robin showed up at my apartment later that evening and stayed until well past midnight. Bette’s family in Illinois was extremely supportive and did most of the work setting up her memorial service out there.
My friend Brian joined Robin at my place the next evening, both of them putting aside very hectic schedules to do so. My brother Michael and brother-in-law Mike drove down from Rochester, New York, and stayed with me until I left for Illinois, then made the trip out and back with me. My coworkers at BAE Systems were extremely supportive. I was NOT alone, and I learned to take advantage of the offers people made to help me, something I had never been good at before. I had always viewed that as a sign of weakness, but I now felt very weak.
God gave me the right words to say at the memorial service the following Saturday, held at the gravesite of Bette’s parents she had missed so much. The outpouring of love from her friends and family in Illinois would have touched her deeply, as it touched me. Many tears were shed that day, especially by me. Bette had taught me long ago I could cry and still be a strong man. I even saw Robin, who flew out from Maryland for the service, shed a tear for the first time in the 34 years I had known him.
Much to my surprise, the sun came up on October 12 and has every day since then. There is a certain liberation I felt after realizing the worst thing that could possibly happen to me occurred; yet I was still standing. There has been a lot of pain over the last year, but I continue to have plenty of help dealing with and moving beyond it.
My friends and family (including those in Illinois) and my grief therapist Tom Golden have been invaluable in leading me forward in my life, as has my church family at Believers’ Covenant Fellowship. Apostle Dale Jarrett has quickly become a wonderful source of spiritual wisdom and a trusted friend. Then there is Brenda, who I will write about in a few weeks. I will just say for now she is amazing, an angel God provided to lead me into this next phase of my life and help make it the best yet.
I write this today, on the first anniversary of Bette’s passing, to thank those who have stepped up over the last year, and to have a written record of what a wonderful, loving, and giving person Bette was. She accomplished many things as a social worker and activist in Illinois during the 1980’s and helped many people improve the quality of their lives. As I have detailed above, though, the person she had the most positive lasting impact on was myself. Anything I may accomplish going forward will be partially due to her influence on my life.
I wish I could build a memorial to Bette or name a building or a charitable organization after her so there would be some tangible lasting evidence on earth of who she was and what she did with her life. At this time, however, all I have are these words to share with you. I hope they have succeeded in shedding some light on the truly wonderful loving, giving woman Elizabeth Marie Johnson (Steward) was.
The twelve years Bette and I had together did not seem like nearly enough time, and there were a lot of things we never got around to doing. Rather than feel regret for what was left undone, I rejoice in the love and time we did share. Less than three weeks before she passed away, Bette wrote me a note that included this quote: "I will cherish all the memories we have made for all eternity." Likewise, my darling.
I thank God for those twelve years and for the opportunities that lay ahead.
I thank you for taking the time to read this and learn about my beloved Bette.
October 08, 2005
September 25, 2005
God Loves Heterosexuals Too
I ran across a website called "Rainbow Revival" that contained a quote I found thought-provoking and funny at the same time.
The site quotes Lynn Lavner, a lesbian comic: "The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."
After you stop laughing, think about that for a minute. Hmmm.
The site quotes Lynn Lavner, a lesbian comic: "The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."
After you stop laughing, think about that for a minute. Hmmm.
September 24, 2005
Press On
Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV) "…..Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
These words were written by the Apostle Paul to the church at Philippi, the first Christian church established in Europe. Paul wrote this letter while he was imprisoned in Rome.
If anyone ever had a reason to leave his past behind, it was the Apostle Paul. Originally known as Saul, he was one of the main persecutors of the first Christians. Paul changed his ways after receiving a vision from God (known as a "Damascus Road" experience).
It would have been easy for Paul to wallow in guilt for the atrocities he had perpetrated upon those who followed Jesus. It is not hard to imagine someone in his position being so consumed by his remorse that he would be paralyzed and of little good to anyone.
When Paul received the Holy Spirit, however, he found the strength to move beyond that and become focused on the goals that lay ahead. God had granted him an opportunity to atone for his misdeeds many times over, and Paul was wise and strong enough to become one of the first evangelists.
All of us, straight or GLBT, have things in our past we regret. There could be decisions we made that resulted in very negative consequences for us, and also our loved ones. There could be acts of gratuitous pleasure and indulgence that left us wracked with guilt and self-loathing. It could be that there are goals we set our sights on and fell short, leaving our self-worth damaged.
In the scripture passage, I’m sure Paul did not mean to literally forget those types of experiences—how can we without hypnosis or amnesia. We also hopefully learned some valuable lessons from the mistakes and/or sins we committed that were critical in personal growth and making us more valuable servants to Jesus.
No, an effective way to apply this idea is to not dwell on the bad, the sinful, and the failure in our lives. Instead, take the lessons learned and apply those to opportunities we will have in the future. Just as important here is to actively seek out people to help, a church in which to serve and as the base of it all establish and nourish your personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
As I will expound on in a later post, God is always with us, even when we are sinning, when we are using poor judgment, and when we fall short. That often happens because we are not seeking his will. Instead, we are indulging our earthly desires or seeking the approval of another person instead of Jesus.
When we pray about what we are doing, read His word to learn more about the principles by which He wants us to live, and seek His will first in our lives, good things will happen. We can’t effectively do that if our focus is on how we screwed up our lives and that of others. It needs to be on how we can use our gifts to serve him going forward and by doing that help others.
Jesus died on the cross as payment for our sins. What that means to us is if we accept Him as our Lord and Savior and ask him to forgive our sins, he will. He will also help us forgive ourselves. I know in my life, that, in some areas, is still a work in progress. I also know that Jesus has performed some amazing work inside my heart and soul in the past year since I’ve been more actively seeking Him, and He strongly desires to do the same for you.
In this blog, you will see more posts where I take scripture and write about how I apply it to my life and how you can do the same. When I write about sin, my heart believes that scripture does not include homosexuality. If it did, why would God baptize homosexuals with the Holy Spirit, something I have seen first hand in my church. Scripture condemns promiscuity of ANY type. As a straight man, this applies no more or less to me than any GLBT individual.
God has led me to believe that ALL of his word applies to straight and GLBT people alike, and he can bring you that enlightenment if you open your heart and your mind.
These words were written by the Apostle Paul to the church at Philippi, the first Christian church established in Europe. Paul wrote this letter while he was imprisoned in Rome.
If anyone ever had a reason to leave his past behind, it was the Apostle Paul. Originally known as Saul, he was one of the main persecutors of the first Christians. Paul changed his ways after receiving a vision from God (known as a "Damascus Road" experience).
It would have been easy for Paul to wallow in guilt for the atrocities he had perpetrated upon those who followed Jesus. It is not hard to imagine someone in his position being so consumed by his remorse that he would be paralyzed and of little good to anyone.
When Paul received the Holy Spirit, however, he found the strength to move beyond that and become focused on the goals that lay ahead. God had granted him an opportunity to atone for his misdeeds many times over, and Paul was wise and strong enough to become one of the first evangelists.
All of us, straight or GLBT, have things in our past we regret. There could be decisions we made that resulted in very negative consequences for us, and also our loved ones. There could be acts of gratuitous pleasure and indulgence that left us wracked with guilt and self-loathing. It could be that there are goals we set our sights on and fell short, leaving our self-worth damaged.
In the scripture passage, I’m sure Paul did not mean to literally forget those types of experiences—how can we without hypnosis or amnesia. We also hopefully learned some valuable lessons from the mistakes and/or sins we committed that were critical in personal growth and making us more valuable servants to Jesus.
No, an effective way to apply this idea is to not dwell on the bad, the sinful, and the failure in our lives. Instead, take the lessons learned and apply those to opportunities we will have in the future. Just as important here is to actively seek out people to help, a church in which to serve and as the base of it all establish and nourish your personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
As I will expound on in a later post, God is always with us, even when we are sinning, when we are using poor judgment, and when we fall short. That often happens because we are not seeking his will. Instead, we are indulging our earthly desires or seeking the approval of another person instead of Jesus.
When we pray about what we are doing, read His word to learn more about the principles by which He wants us to live, and seek His will first in our lives, good things will happen. We can’t effectively do that if our focus is on how we screwed up our lives and that of others. It needs to be on how we can use our gifts to serve him going forward and by doing that help others.
Jesus died on the cross as payment for our sins. What that means to us is if we accept Him as our Lord and Savior and ask him to forgive our sins, he will. He will also help us forgive ourselves. I know in my life, that, in some areas, is still a work in progress. I also know that Jesus has performed some amazing work inside my heart and soul in the past year since I’ve been more actively seeking Him, and He strongly desires to do the same for you.
In this blog, you will see more posts where I take scripture and write about how I apply it to my life and how you can do the same. When I write about sin, my heart believes that scripture does not include homosexuality. If it did, why would God baptize homosexuals with the Holy Spirit, something I have seen first hand in my church. Scripture condemns promiscuity of ANY type. As a straight man, this applies no more or less to me than any GLBT individual.
God has led me to believe that ALL of his word applies to straight and GLBT people alike, and he can bring you that enlightenment if you open your heart and your mind.
September 21, 2005
Linking Up and Spreading the Word
You may have noticed in recent days that I have added a lot of links to this blog. I have endeavored to join as many different communities and webrings as possible that might have some connection to or interest in the message of inclusion and Christ's love for ALL people. I would encourage you to visit some of the sites that are in these communities, but please be advised that not all of them share the same point of view.
I decided to branch out and try, especially in Christian and GLBT communities, to get connected where people who don't share the same values may take a few moments and read what we have to share in this small corner of the blogosphere. It's fine to "preach to the choir," but it is also important to reach those who have not received the fullness of Jesus' love and acceptance and touch that uncultivated portion of their hearts and souls. Unfortuately, this blog has already been rejected by several Christian communities who are not willing to share this viewpoint with their members, but there are others who have included the site. I'll keep trying.
If anyreaders have any suggestions of additional communities or sites that I should investigate getting linked up to, please e-mail me and I will follow up on it.
Since I began this push within the last two weeks, traffic here has nearly doubled. May God bless any first-time visitors and I continue to seek his will and guidance in every post I make.
I decided to branch out and try, especially in Christian and GLBT communities, to get connected where people who don't share the same values may take a few moments and read what we have to share in this small corner of the blogosphere. It's fine to "preach to the choir," but it is also important to reach those who have not received the fullness of Jesus' love and acceptance and touch that uncultivated portion of their hearts and souls. Unfortuately, this blog has already been rejected by several Christian communities who are not willing to share this viewpoint with their members, but there are others who have included the site. I'll keep trying.
If anyreaders have any suggestions of additional communities or sites that I should investigate getting linked up to, please e-mail me and I will follow up on it.
Since I began this push within the last two weeks, traffic here has nearly doubled. May God bless any first-time visitors and I continue to seek his will and guidance in every post I make.
September 20, 2005
Baylor Gets "Gay" Coffee Cups Pulled, Society Is Saved
Baylor University, strongly encouraged by a group called "Concerned Women for America," had the campus Starbucks shop pull coffee cups containing quotes from authors and other well-known people. According to this report on 365gay.com, Starbucks had a series of cups made for their "The Way I See It" promotion. On about one out of every hundred cups was a quote from Armistead Maupin, author of the famous "Tales of the City," a chronicle of gay life in San Francisco. I read the book and saw the miniseries and thought both were fascinating.
Anyway, the CWA thought that Maupin's quote "promoted the homosexual agenda," and Baylor had the cups pulled.
When I have a point of view and I am secure with it, I don't worry about someone else voicing a different opinion. Should a discussion take place where ideas are exchanged, I don't focus on silencing the other point of view because my beliefs can stand on their own merits.
There are conservative groups that invest a lot of energy and resources in silencing anyone who might express any viewpoint that does not strictly condemn homosexuality. What are they so afraid of? That someone with different values might make sense?
Anyway, the CWA thought that Maupin's quote "promoted the homosexual agenda," and Baylor had the cups pulled.
When I have a point of view and I am secure with it, I don't worry about someone else voicing a different opinion. Should a discussion take place where ideas are exchanged, I don't focus on silencing the other point of view because my beliefs can stand on their own merits.
There are conservative groups that invest a lot of energy and resources in silencing anyone who might express any viewpoint that does not strictly condemn homosexuality. What are they so afraid of? That someone with different values might make sense?
September 16, 2005
A Gay-Affirming Church Spared, Others Not So Fortunate
Another gay-affirming congregation my church is associated with is in New Orleans. You may have heard about the bad weather they had down there recently. Last week our pastor spoke with the pastor of Word Harvesters Church, Zoila Aguilar, and discovered that, amazingly, their church suffered no damage from Hurricane Katrina. Our congregation had invested a lot of prayer time asking for God's mercy for that church and praise Him that those prayers were answered.
Interestingly, she also related the fact that other churches near her suffered various levels of damage. This would be a good story to relay to those who claimed Katrina was God's judgement on New Orleans. What can that say about Word Harvesters Church, that God missed?
This congregation, like so many others in that area, still needs your prayers because many of the people lost their homes and all of their belongings.
Interestingly, she also related the fact that other churches near her suffered various levels of damage. This would be a good story to relay to those who claimed Katrina was God's judgement on New Orleans. What can that say about Word Harvesters Church, that God missed?
This congregation, like so many others in that area, still needs your prayers because many of the people lost their homes and all of their belongings.
Gay-Straight Alliance? Not At This School!
This is the kind of story that will spike the blood pressure of anyone with an open mind. As reported on 365gay.com, a high school in Georgia had over 60 students sign up for a "Gay-Straight Alliance" club. That sounds like a good thing, right? Not according to a record crowd at a Madison County Board of Education Meeting. One speaker, no doubt taking time away from his day job as a rocket scientist, compared the club to the KKK in its potentialf for diviseness.
So a club that would bring gay and straight people TOGETHER would be divisive? I'm glad that person pointed it out because I'm not nearly smart enough to figure that out on my own.
So a club that would bring gay and straight people TOGETHER would be divisive? I'm glad that person pointed it out because I'm not nearly smart enough to figure that out on my own.
September 13, 2005
Shaq Helps Police Catch Gay Assault Suspect
Since I'm a sportswriter in my other life (www.thecourtmaster.net) this story really tickled me and I thought you would appreciate it. NBA star Shaquille Oneil, who has been in training for some time to become a police office when he retires, recently helped Miami Beach police. They arrested a man who O'Neal saw allegedly yell anti-gay slurs at a gay couple walking along the street, then throw a bottle at them. Shaq trailed the suspect and alerted police to make the arrest. O'Neal recently led a major effort for hurricane Katrina relief in South Florida. It's nice to see an athlete who is actually interested in someone besides himself.
Persuasion Using a "Velvet Glove"
I found a story off the AP wire courtesy of 365gay.com discussing the approach Focus on the Family is using to campaign for the repeal of the "Maine Human Rights Act," which specifically includes sexual orientation.
Apparently Focus on the Family belongs to the group of fundamentalits that believes specifying that is is wrong to discriminate against homosexuals grants them some kind of special rights. Interestingly, the leaders of the campaign in Maine are asking their workers to tone down their condemnation of homosexuality and not come across as hateful.
That approach, although somewhat disengenous, is no better or worse than what most other political activists do to persuade people to adopt their particular point of view. That's not my issue.
This report also tell us that Maine evangelical leaders were urged to quit quoting the bible verse (Leviticus 18:22) which is so often used to refer to gay sex as an "abomination."
Let me get this straight--religious leaders are urged NOT to quote their main source of moral guidance in order to be more paletable to voters. What election or vote is important enough to win that turning AWAY from the Bible is a justifiable approach, especially among those who have pledged to spread the Gospel?
Only ones where you are willing to put YOUR desires and values ahead of God's. For me, that would be none.
Apparently Focus on the Family belongs to the group of fundamentalits that believes specifying that is is wrong to discriminate against homosexuals grants them some kind of special rights. Interestingly, the leaders of the campaign in Maine are asking their workers to tone down their condemnation of homosexuality and not come across as hateful.
That approach, although somewhat disengenous, is no better or worse than what most other political activists do to persuade people to adopt their particular point of view. That's not my issue.
This report also tell us that Maine evangelical leaders were urged to quit quoting the bible verse (Leviticus 18:22) which is so often used to refer to gay sex as an "abomination."
Let me get this straight--religious leaders are urged NOT to quote their main source of moral guidance in order to be more paletable to voters. What election or vote is important enough to win that turning AWAY from the Bible is a justifiable approach, especially among those who have pledged to spread the Gospel?
Only ones where you are willing to put YOUR desires and values ahead of God's. For me, that would be none.
September 12, 2005
KKK Protests Pro-Gay Church Group
I dabble in writing fiction, but you just can't make this stuff up. A recent meeting of a pro-gay United Methodist group in North Carolina was protested by about a dozen card-carrying members of the KKK. That's right, the KKK is branching out and not reserving their message of hate for African-Americans. One of the protesters' signs said "Show me where sin is OK." Sure folks, right after you show me where hate is okay.
Looking at the glass half full, the fact that there was a religious group in the notoriously conservative south seeking full rights for gay members is a good thing. God bless them and others like them!
Looking at the glass half full, the fact that there was a religious group in the notoriously conservative south seeking full rights for gay members is a good thing. God bless them and others like them!
September 10, 2005
Forgiveness
The pastor at my church had a sermon that really spoke to me today. He preached about the need for us as christians to forgive those who have hurt us or made us angry or that for whatever reason we have some issue of anger or envy toward.
I have not always practiced that in the posts I have added to this blog. I have allowed my anger at those who practice exclusion or other narrow-minded acts to pour out toward these groups or individuals. It would be easy for someone to read what I have written about people like Pat Robertson or groups like Repent America and categorize me as judgemental. By practicing one of the acts I an quick to criticize them and others for, I am not raising the level of dialogue, which is the primary goal of this blog.
I am asking God to forgive me for, at times, writing as if I had the right to judge others. I don't, nor does anyone have the right to judge me. That is something God reserves for himself and I'm mighty glad he does. That being said, however, I will continue to speak out about intolerant acts or anything that I have learned goes against God's word and the very essence of who He is.
Condemning the messenger is what people usually do when they can't argue against his message. It's important to keep focused on the issues and how God wants His people to handle them in their lives. Anything thing else just gets in the way of his will.
I have not always practiced that in the posts I have added to this blog. I have allowed my anger at those who practice exclusion or other narrow-minded acts to pour out toward these groups or individuals. It would be easy for someone to read what I have written about people like Pat Robertson or groups like Repent America and categorize me as judgemental. By practicing one of the acts I an quick to criticize them and others for, I am not raising the level of dialogue, which is the primary goal of this blog.
I am asking God to forgive me for, at times, writing as if I had the right to judge others. I don't, nor does anyone have the right to judge me. That is something God reserves for himself and I'm mighty glad he does. That being said, however, I will continue to speak out about intolerant acts or anything that I have learned goes against God's word and the very essence of who He is.
Condemning the messenger is what people usually do when they can't argue against his message. It's important to keep focused on the issues and how God wants His people to handle them in their lives. Anything thing else just gets in the way of his will.
September 04, 2005
Loaning a lesbian
I usually don't stray outside the U.S. for my posts, but this one was just too good to pass up. As reported in the USA Today, a library in Stockholm, Sweden has set up a sitatuion where people can literally come in and check out a person. People with different backgrounds, including homosexual, will be available for library patrons to reserve a 45-minute one-on-discussion to find out how they tick.
I know the best way for me to begin understanding the differences and similarities between myself and gay men was to spend some time sitting with them and asking questions. I have been fortunate to forge good relationships over the years that have been very illuminating, and the gay and lesbian members of my church continue to teach me a LOT about their lives and how we're not nearly as different as some right-wing zealots would have us think.
Of course, I had to be willing to listen. Sadly, that is becoming a lost art in our country. If you haven't done so in a while, try really listening to someone you disagree with and try to understand them. Then, see if they will return the favor. We can all learn something by doing that more often.
I know the best way for me to begin understanding the differences and similarities between myself and gay men was to spend some time sitting with them and asking questions. I have been fortunate to forge good relationships over the years that have been very illuminating, and the gay and lesbian members of my church continue to teach me a LOT about their lives and how we're not nearly as different as some right-wing zealots would have us think.
Of course, I had to be willing to listen. Sadly, that is becoming a lost art in our country. If you haven't done so in a while, try really listening to someone you disagree with and try to understand them. Then, see if they will return the favor. We can all learn something by doing that more often.
On the other side of the ledger.....
One of the more outspoken, bigoted, narrow-minded organizations around, Repent America, issued a statement directly tying in the Katrina disaster to the fact that New Orleans was preparing to host the 34th annual "Southern Decadence" gathering, a major party for the GLBT community. They point out that "this act of God destroyed a wicked city."
While New Orleans has a well earned reputation for decadence involving both straight and gays, this argument is severely flawed because:
o That presumes God created the conditions for the hurricane and steered it's path. Is he supposed to have picked this one out to do some special work, or is he in charge of all hurricanes and therefore responsible for all destruction they cause?
o This was the 34th "Southern Decadence." Why do you suppose God let the first 33 go without punishment?
0 If this storm was to punish New Orleans, then what are the thousands of people in Mississippi whose lives were torn apart supposed to think?
Then again, there wasn't a whole lot of rational thinking that went into this proclamation, was there?
While New Orleans has a well earned reputation for decadence involving both straight and gays, this argument is severely flawed because:
o That presumes God created the conditions for the hurricane and steered it's path. Is he supposed to have picked this one out to do some special work, or is he in charge of all hurricanes and therefore responsible for all destruction they cause?
o This was the 34th "Southern Decadence." Why do you suppose God let the first 33 go without punishment?
0 If this storm was to punish New Orleans, then what are the thousands of people in Mississippi whose lives were torn apart supposed to think?
Then again, there wasn't a whole lot of rational thinking that went into this proclamation, was there?
Another way to help Katrina victims
Sadly, one situation when people are truly treated equally is during a natural disaster. Hurricanes don't differentiate between straight and gay people, they just destroy whatever is in its way. Few have done so more than the recent storm Katrina, which brought a nearly unimagineable amount of descturction to Louisiana and Mississippi. There is an organization representing LGBT people that is trying to help called the Rainbow World Fund. Check them out and consider offering any assistance you can afford.
Also, please join me in prayer for those who have lost loved ones as well as those who survived but saw their entire way of life destroyed.
Also, please join me in prayer for those who have lost loved ones as well as those who survived but saw their entire way of life destroyed.
August 23, 2005
A Loosely Orgainzed Pawn
That's what I am and, I suspect since you are reading this, you are one too. That's according to a piece written by Dr. Edward Hinson, Assistant to the Chancellor of Liberty University. That's right, he works for Rev. Jerry Falwell.
In this diatribe written for "Jerry Falwell's National Liberty Journal", Dr. Hinson targets the Christian Alliance for Progress but essentially throws any organization that would refer to itself as "religious liberal" under the bus. Essentially, that would include anyone who does not subscribe to the version of Christ touted by the Religious Right. The tone of this essay was hardly doctorate in nature. Rather, I could almost hear him saying "Nyah nyah nyah nyah, we're bigger and better than you are."
The main flaws Dr. Hinson points out, besides these groups disagreeing with his narrow view of Christianity, are that the leaders are not nearly as famous as men like Falwell, James Dobson, and yes, Pat Robertson. It is a darn shame that none of the "religious liberal" leaders have ever received anywhere near the publicity that Robertson did today, isn't it?
I would think that a representative of a university (a lovely campus I had the pleasure of touring recently) founded on christian principles and purporting to teach future religious leaders would show at least a trace of Jesus' love. He writes "evangelicals are not the stupid, backward obscurantists you think we are," yet in the rest of his essay appears to go out of his way to disprove his own point.
Thanks to the excellent blog "Christian Dissent" for finding this piece.
In this diatribe written for "Jerry Falwell's National Liberty Journal", Dr. Hinson targets the Christian Alliance for Progress but essentially throws any organization that would refer to itself as "religious liberal" under the bus. Essentially, that would include anyone who does not subscribe to the version of Christ touted by the Religious Right. The tone of this essay was hardly doctorate in nature. Rather, I could almost hear him saying "Nyah nyah nyah nyah, we're bigger and better than you are."
The main flaws Dr. Hinson points out, besides these groups disagreeing with his narrow view of Christianity, are that the leaders are not nearly as famous as men like Falwell, James Dobson, and yes, Pat Robertson. It is a darn shame that none of the "religious liberal" leaders have ever received anywhere near the publicity that Robertson did today, isn't it?
I would think that a representative of a university (a lovely campus I had the pleasure of touring recently) founded on christian principles and purporting to teach future religious leaders would show at least a trace of Jesus' love. He writes "evangelicals are not the stupid, backward obscurantists you think we are," yet in the rest of his essay appears to go out of his way to disprove his own point.
Thanks to the excellent blog "Christian Dissent" for finding this piece.
Robertson Wants Chavez Whacked
You just can't make this stuff up. If you did, it would be considered so far out there that it would be ridiculed. On Monday's edition of "The 700 Club", a show my mother and I used to watch together because of its loving Christian message and moving stories, host and right-wing religious czar Pat Robertson encouraged the U. S. government to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. He veered so far to the right that Fox News doesn't even have his back on this issue.
I'm trying to make sense out of this, which is of course impossible since IT MAKES NO SENSE! Like it or not, Robertson is a religious leader with some influence in this country. I'm sure he has some twisted justification of how murdering this political leader would advance the cause of God's kingdom. I'm also happy to say that is escapes me, meaning I still have at least one foot firmly planted in reality.
Robertson endorses the assassination of the Venezuelan president in large part to save another $200 billion to get rid of a dictator, obviously referring to the cost of the war in Iraq. Robertson sees Venezuela becoming "a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism."
I suppose we can infer from his statements, made on his own television program, that if we see any nation or group that he determines is a threat to our nation, it's okay to go Tony Soprano on them so we can save some money.
Of course, Robertson and his right-wing ilk often expound on the threat homosexuality is to our society. If there was a "President of Homosexuals" I guess Robertson would put a contract out on him or her. Since Canada has legalized gay marriage, is Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin on his hit list?
Does the Fab Five from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" have bodyguards? If not, they might want to look into it--they could be next in the 700's Club's crosshairs.
I'm trying to make sense out of this, which is of course impossible since IT MAKES NO SENSE! Like it or not, Robertson is a religious leader with some influence in this country. I'm sure he has some twisted justification of how murdering this political leader would advance the cause of God's kingdom. I'm also happy to say that is escapes me, meaning I still have at least one foot firmly planted in reality.
Robertson endorses the assassination of the Venezuelan president in large part to save another $200 billion to get rid of a dictator, obviously referring to the cost of the war in Iraq. Robertson sees Venezuela becoming "a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism."
I suppose we can infer from his statements, made on his own television program, that if we see any nation or group that he determines is a threat to our nation, it's okay to go Tony Soprano on them so we can save some money.
Of course, Robertson and his right-wing ilk often expound on the threat homosexuality is to our society. If there was a "President of Homosexuals" I guess Robertson would put a contract out on him or her. Since Canada has legalized gay marriage, is Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin on his hit list?
Does the Fab Five from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" have bodyguards? If not, they might want to look into it--they could be next in the 700's Club's crosshairs.
August 19, 2005
Preaching Politics
Call me crazy, but when I go to church, I want to hear preaching based on the bible. I want to learn more about taking God's word and applying it to my daily life. I want to feel more of the Holy Spirit and draw closer to God and be a better servant.
I DON'T go to learn how someone thinks I am supposed to vote, but I feel more and more like that puts me in a shrinking minority. Here is a story about what was organized as a rally to support Supreme Court nominee John Roberts in churches acorss the country. After it was revealed that Roberts had once provided legal advice to a LGBT group that helped them win a civil rights case, the tone was changed into just a basic gay-bashing rally.
The story quotes a spokesman for Focus on the Family as saying Roberts' work with the LGBT group is "raising alarm bells."
Someone that has James Dobson's undies in a bunch can't be all bad.
I DON'T go to learn how someone thinks I am supposed to vote, but I feel more and more like that puts me in a shrinking minority. Here is a story about what was organized as a rally to support Supreme Court nominee John Roberts in churches acorss the country. After it was revealed that Roberts had once provided legal advice to a LGBT group that helped them win a civil rights case, the tone was changed into just a basic gay-bashing rally.
The story quotes a spokesman for Focus on the Family as saying Roberts' work with the LGBT group is "raising alarm bells."
Someone that has James Dobson's undies in a bunch can't be all bad.
August 17, 2005
Catholocism and the Gay Community
My name is Jim, and I’m a recovering Catholic.
Hi Jim!
I didn’t need a 12-step program to move away from Catholicism. In fact, for a while, it was very good to me. I converted from being a Southern Baptist in 1994, a year after marrying another converted Catholic.
I was, and still am, horribly disillusioned by the right-wing policies the Baptists adopted and have worked very hard to have adopted as the laws of the land. They have been disturbingly successful with this effort and stand to gain even more of a foothold as the character of the Supreme Court changes in the next few years.
The Roman Catholic Church is hardly noted for its liberalism. Rather, its attitudes toward women in the ministry and priests not marrying hearken back to the dark ages. I think what appealed to me in 1994 and for a number of years following was the structure and history of the Church. They were hardly making up the rules as they went along and there were very clear lines of authority. No preachers were running amok on a power trip with their hand out shaking people down for money.
Ultimately, though, what both my wife and I found lacking in the Catholic Church was passion. She had been indoctrinated into a very spiritual parish in Illinois, but we never found one in Maryland that came close to equaling it. Gradually we drifted away from the church and were readying ourselves to look for a new church home. I think she would like where Brenda and I are now, a small, spirit-filled church where the policies of exclusion are denounced and inclusion are practiced.
This all came to mind when I was perusing 365gay.com, a news service focused on gay issues. One of their stories reported on a priest at the famous St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York, Monsignor Eugene Clark. He had recently resigned after being named as "the other man" in a divorce suit involving his former secretary and her husband. I can’t help but think that at least some Catholics’ first reaction was, "at least he wasn’t doing anything with a little boy." It’s not an easy time to be in the Roman Catholic Church.
The story is relevant in this forum because Clark was known for his repeated attacks on gays. 365gay.com reported that in 1999, Clark told a Catholic Radio audience that gays are "The enemy of Christian marriage." It seems that Clark himself was the enemy of at least one marriage himself. How often have you noticed that, regardless of the issue, the people who are the loudest at condemning people are often covering for some sin or shortcoming themselves?
Can Catholicism actually be good for gays? Columnist Michelangelo Signorile at 365gay.com asks that question and says in some ways it is. He points out that that when a gay Catholic comes out, families tend to be more accepting and work on keeping the family unit together in part because of the teaching of the church.
Signorile also writes that in predominantly Catholic countries like Spain, Poland, and much of South America, gays are gaining more visibility and benefits than many people believed possible. Agree or disagree, this is one of those pieces that will make you thoughtfully rub your chin and go "hmmmm."
Hopefully the Catholic Church will get some new blood in their leadership that will take it to a more open and accepting policy, but I doubt many of us will live long enough to see any significant change. There will always be some common ground with other Christians and Catholics. We all love God and are trying to serve him. That’s not a bad place to start.
Hi Jim!
I didn’t need a 12-step program to move away from Catholicism. In fact, for a while, it was very good to me. I converted from being a Southern Baptist in 1994, a year after marrying another converted Catholic.
I was, and still am, horribly disillusioned by the right-wing policies the Baptists adopted and have worked very hard to have adopted as the laws of the land. They have been disturbingly successful with this effort and stand to gain even more of a foothold as the character of the Supreme Court changes in the next few years.
The Roman Catholic Church is hardly noted for its liberalism. Rather, its attitudes toward women in the ministry and priests not marrying hearken back to the dark ages. I think what appealed to me in 1994 and for a number of years following was the structure and history of the Church. They were hardly making up the rules as they went along and there were very clear lines of authority. No preachers were running amok on a power trip with their hand out shaking people down for money.
Ultimately, though, what both my wife and I found lacking in the Catholic Church was passion. She had been indoctrinated into a very spiritual parish in Illinois, but we never found one in Maryland that came close to equaling it. Gradually we drifted away from the church and were readying ourselves to look for a new church home. I think she would like where Brenda and I are now, a small, spirit-filled church where the policies of exclusion are denounced and inclusion are practiced.
This all came to mind when I was perusing 365gay.com, a news service focused on gay issues. One of their stories reported on a priest at the famous St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York, Monsignor Eugene Clark. He had recently resigned after being named as "the other man" in a divorce suit involving his former secretary and her husband. I can’t help but think that at least some Catholics’ first reaction was, "at least he wasn’t doing anything with a little boy." It’s not an easy time to be in the Roman Catholic Church.
The story is relevant in this forum because Clark was known for his repeated attacks on gays. 365gay.com reported that in 1999, Clark told a Catholic Radio audience that gays are "The enemy of Christian marriage." It seems that Clark himself was the enemy of at least one marriage himself. How often have you noticed that, regardless of the issue, the people who are the loudest at condemning people are often covering for some sin or shortcoming themselves?
Can Catholicism actually be good for gays? Columnist Michelangelo Signorile at 365gay.com asks that question and says in some ways it is. He points out that that when a gay Catholic comes out, families tend to be more accepting and work on keeping the family unit together in part because of the teaching of the church.
Signorile also writes that in predominantly Catholic countries like Spain, Poland, and much of South America, gays are gaining more visibility and benefits than many people believed possible. Agree or disagree, this is one of those pieces that will make you thoughtfully rub your chin and go "hmmmm."
Hopefully the Catholic Church will get some new blood in their leadership that will take it to a more open and accepting policy, but I doubt many of us will live long enough to see any significant change. There will always be some common ground with other Christians and Catholics. We all love God and are trying to serve him. That’s not a bad place to start.
August 14, 2005
Too Much Understanding, Not Enough Faith
In this, the information age, our society tries to understand TOO much. How is that possible? When we try to explain the unexplainable, usually by diminishing it to a level where mere humans can make sense out of it.
You see, the whole concept of faith, especially faith in God, is belief in things unseen. When a child is very young, his understanding of the world is very limited. Inevitably there are important things that his parents tell him that they are not able to rationalize. In those cases, parents usually say something like, "trust me, it’s for your own good," or "you know I would never tell you anything that would hurt you."
Some of us were fortunate enough to have loving, caring parents as small children, and others were not. We all have our Father in heaven who will love us, through his Son Jesus Christ, regardless of how much money we possess, what type of job we have, the color of our skin, or yes, even our sexual orientation. He tells us many times in the Bible that the most blessed of us will come to him like children.
We can ALL trust our Father when he tells us that if we love him, accept Jesus Christ as our Savior, and seek forgiveness of our sins (repent) we will receive eternal glory in heaven. I don’t understand how that is all possible, and how we will eventually rise up again and walk the earth. Thankfully, I don’t have to; I just need to have the faith to accept that it will all work out as God has promised us.
Another of the many things I don’t understand about this world is why some people are straight and others are homosexual. I won’t even offer any theories as to why God does that; I’m smart enough to know when I’m out of my depth.
Unfortunately, many pious religious leaders do not exercise that type of discretion. Instead, they have determined that, since they do not believe homosexuality is acceptable it must be a sin. They’ve even twisted the interpretation of several scriptures to "prove" their point.
Taking that "logic" a step further, they can’t exactly preach that God made people with a natural inclination to sin. Therefore, it must be an individual’s "choice" to act as a homosexual, and any choice, like that of drinking alcohol or using drugs, can be changed with enough prayer, therapy, rehabilitation, and a little condemnation thrown in for good measure.
By preaching this message as the gospel truth, those who practice it are becoming a major divisive force in this country. That’s okay with them, however, because they can explain, rationalize, justify and use any other logical method to tell you why they are right and everyone who has a different view is wrong.
From where I sit, I think the Religious Right needs to do less "understanding" and more believing in the message of Jesus Christ, the message of love and inclusion.
God says many times in the Bible that His ways surpass all understanding. So it is okay not to know everything, filling in the holes with faith in his promises to us, the children he loves so much.
You see, the whole concept of faith, especially faith in God, is belief in things unseen. When a child is very young, his understanding of the world is very limited. Inevitably there are important things that his parents tell him that they are not able to rationalize. In those cases, parents usually say something like, "trust me, it’s for your own good," or "you know I would never tell you anything that would hurt you."
Some of us were fortunate enough to have loving, caring parents as small children, and others were not. We all have our Father in heaven who will love us, through his Son Jesus Christ, regardless of how much money we possess, what type of job we have, the color of our skin, or yes, even our sexual orientation. He tells us many times in the Bible that the most blessed of us will come to him like children.
We can ALL trust our Father when he tells us that if we love him, accept Jesus Christ as our Savior, and seek forgiveness of our sins (repent) we will receive eternal glory in heaven. I don’t understand how that is all possible, and how we will eventually rise up again and walk the earth. Thankfully, I don’t have to; I just need to have the faith to accept that it will all work out as God has promised us.
Another of the many things I don’t understand about this world is why some people are straight and others are homosexual. I won’t even offer any theories as to why God does that; I’m smart enough to know when I’m out of my depth.
Unfortunately, many pious religious leaders do not exercise that type of discretion. Instead, they have determined that, since they do not believe homosexuality is acceptable it must be a sin. They’ve even twisted the interpretation of several scriptures to "prove" their point.
Taking that "logic" a step further, they can’t exactly preach that God made people with a natural inclination to sin. Therefore, it must be an individual’s "choice" to act as a homosexual, and any choice, like that of drinking alcohol or using drugs, can be changed with enough prayer, therapy, rehabilitation, and a little condemnation thrown in for good measure.
By preaching this message as the gospel truth, those who practice it are becoming a major divisive force in this country. That’s okay with them, however, because they can explain, rationalize, justify and use any other logical method to tell you why they are right and everyone who has a different view is wrong.
From where I sit, I think the Religious Right needs to do less "understanding" and more believing in the message of Jesus Christ, the message of love and inclusion.
God says many times in the Bible that His ways surpass all understanding. So it is okay not to know everything, filling in the holes with faith in his promises to us, the children he loves so much.
August 12, 2005
Be All You Can Be? Not Quite
How often have you heard the phrase "Be all you can be" used as a recruiting slogan by the United States military? I would think probably hundreds, if not thousands of times over the year. It’s a good one, isn’t it?
If you happen to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual however, it is a lie.
Not only is the military staunchly defending its "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy in court, they appear to be aggressively seeking out soldiers that are deemed to violate its very broad interpretation.
In the past year, at least five soldiers have been discharged from the military for placing online personal ads that identify them as gay. The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) reports that there have been at least 40 "outings" in similar incidents they have monitored this year.
Who is taking the time to peruse gay personals anyway? Is that actually in someone’s job description? Would we have a better chance of finding Osama Bin Laden if he was trying to get hooked up with a gay lover? Is this really important enough to further deplete the ranks of soldiers that are already spread too thin?
I’m proud of our brave men and women that sign up to leave their homes and put their lives at risk. Most of us have a friend or relative that served in at least one of the Iraq wars. I have a brave young cousin that was over with the first wave of forces in 2003. Whether you agree or disagree with the politics involved God Bless our soldiers for being willing to go and defend our nation.
The fact that military leadership continues to enforce this inane "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy and are willing to go so far as to review personal ads, however, helps make the phrase "military intelligence" seem like an oxymoron.
Speaking of morons, have these people watched too many episodes of MASH? Do they expect gay soldiers to act like Corporal Klinger in the early years, reporting for duty in women’s clothing? Are they afraid of gay soldiers heading out on troop maneuvers wearing pink chiffon and demanding candelabras at the mess halls with Liberace dinner music piped in?
I’m asking a lot of questions here and providing few answers because I just don’t get it. As far as society has come in so many areas, it is sad that the leaders of the group that could literally blow up the world still acts as if they fear people that are not like them.
Many leaders of the right wing have tried to make patriotism and morality into black and white issues, allowing no room for shades of gray, not to mention any rainbow colors. No wonder they are usually the political champions of the Armed Forces.
In the United States military, it’s not about being all you can be; it’s about being all they will allow you to be.
If you happen to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual however, it is a lie.
Not only is the military staunchly defending its "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy in court, they appear to be aggressively seeking out soldiers that are deemed to violate its very broad interpretation.
In the past year, at least five soldiers have been discharged from the military for placing online personal ads that identify them as gay. The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) reports that there have been at least 40 "outings" in similar incidents they have monitored this year.
Who is taking the time to peruse gay personals anyway? Is that actually in someone’s job description? Would we have a better chance of finding Osama Bin Laden if he was trying to get hooked up with a gay lover? Is this really important enough to further deplete the ranks of soldiers that are already spread too thin?
I’m proud of our brave men and women that sign up to leave their homes and put their lives at risk. Most of us have a friend or relative that served in at least one of the Iraq wars. I have a brave young cousin that was over with the first wave of forces in 2003. Whether you agree or disagree with the politics involved God Bless our soldiers for being willing to go and defend our nation.
The fact that military leadership continues to enforce this inane "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy and are willing to go so far as to review personal ads, however, helps make the phrase "military intelligence" seem like an oxymoron.
Speaking of morons, have these people watched too many episodes of MASH? Do they expect gay soldiers to act like Corporal Klinger in the early years, reporting for duty in women’s clothing? Are they afraid of gay soldiers heading out on troop maneuvers wearing pink chiffon and demanding candelabras at the mess halls with Liberace dinner music piped in?
I’m asking a lot of questions here and providing few answers because I just don’t get it. As far as society has come in so many areas, it is sad that the leaders of the group that could literally blow up the world still acts as if they fear people that are not like them.
Many leaders of the right wing have tried to make patriotism and morality into black and white issues, allowing no room for shades of gray, not to mention any rainbow colors. No wonder they are usually the political champions of the Armed Forces.
In the United States military, it’s not about being all you can be; it’s about being all they will allow you to be.
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