God Will Deal with the Messengers of Hate

One of the more frequent themes I have written about and readers have contacted me about is their anger at what we feel is a gross distotion of God's message by "fundamentalists" preaching hatred against GLBT people and those who don't vote Republican. In my bible study over the weekend, I ran across some scripture that addresses how God will handle that when the time for reckoning arrives.

Luke 20:45-47 (NIV) While all the people were listening, Jesus said to his disciples, "Beware of the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and love to be greeted in the marketplaces and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets. They devour widows' houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. Such men will be published most severely."

Luke 11:52 (NIV) "Woe to you experts in the law, because you have taken away the key to knowledge. You yourselves have not entered, and you have hindered those who were entering."

Matthew 7:22-24 (NIV) Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

If, as I so strongly feel in my heart, they are wrong, those preachers will be punished severely on judgement day. It it difficult but critically important for us to remember that no one on either side of any issue has the right to judge others--that is God's right and His alone. In these and other scriptures, he clearly promises that he will deal with those who have misrepresented His word and led others down that path.

What if I'm wrong? What if I have misinterpreted the leading of the Holy Spirit and I'm wrong about what I write here? I would face that same type of punishment detailed in the scripture above. Unlike many of the followers of the "fundamentalist" leaders, however, I have taken responsibility for the couse I am charting with my life and my writing.

I have, with guidance from my wife Brenda, my Pastor Dale, and other leaders at my church, worked very hard on developing my individual relationship with Jesus Christ. I have put the effort into bible study, prayer, and studying various teachings on important issues to educate myself and, more importantly, discern God's will for my life without it going through anyone else's filter.

If we have been influenced by a leader who has gone astray, we still have the responsibility to figure out God's will for our lives, not our leader's will. It does take some effort and committment. It's not easy. The bible is not easy to figure out. It can be difficult making ourselves be still and pray. That is where the nourishment of the spirit comes from, though. Without it, our spirit starves just like our body without food.

I went through a spell of my life where I starved my spirit, and it caused me to be less than I could be. I know many people are currently doing the same, especially GLBT people who have just had the living crap kicked out of them by the church.

Please remember, if you've experienced that type of rejection, that is is coming from man, not God. He loves you and is reaching out to you right now, right this very minute! If you reach back and open yourself up to His love, your life will never be the same. Leave the hatred behind, God will deal with those who inflicted it upon you. Just focus on His love and let the Holy Spirit into your soul.

No man, regardless of how much political power he amasses or how loudly he screams, can EVER take that away from you.

Acceptance is a Two-Way Street

I've really been spoiled by positive experiences with the GLBT community. I was made painfully aware of that fact this past week when my attempted interaction with a local GLBT organization took a nasty and disappointing turn.

One of the avenues I have used to draw new readers to Straight, Not Narrow, has been to join Yahoo groups that have a somewhat similar focus. Since I write about both GLBT policital issues and the relationship of christianity to the GLBT community, I requested and received membership in groups that focused on one or both of those areas.

Last week, I posted messages in my groups linking to my SNN post "Don't Trust the System, Trust The Lord." The content of the message was "I just added a post to my blog about how I feel we need Christ to guide us through our involvement in the political process. I would appreciate any feedback you would care to give." As I hoped, people from several groups visited this site, read the post, and left interesting comments here and back in the groups.

I have stated several times since starting this blog that one of my main goals was to stimulate dialogue. I'm inviting people to respectfully disagree with what I write because it's that exchange of ideas that can foster learning on both sides of an issue.

There was one group, however, that reacted much differently. A local orgainzation that claims to be "dedicated to promoting equality and full participation for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered people..... through advocacy, education, community outreach and partnership."

When I checked e-mail the next morning after I has posted my message, I had a note from the moderator of this group telling me how inappropriate my message was, how many members were offended, threatening to ban me from the group, and asking me to apologize for posting something that "was obviously not related to GLBT issues" in their area.

I remain unclear how anything discussing ideas of how to approach politics is not related to GLBT issues. I don't understand how I could have offended anyone by expressing an opinion based on my beliefs without condemning anyone else or belittling their value system.

There were probably Jewish or Muslim members that read my message, and I wouldn't expect them to be offended, just like I wouldn't take offense if they had written about taking an Old Testament approach or how Allah would address issues. I wouldn't agree with those points any more than either one would agree with mine, but I would not demand they be banned from the group either.

One thing I do not intend to do here is to anger people who clearly are not interested in this message. While I declined to offer an apology, I also immediately removed myself from their group. In Luke 9:5 (NIV), Jesus told His disciples, "If people do not welcome you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave their town."

I am not naming this group because I don't want their cause, if they ever actually do anything to advance it, to be damaged in any way. I do have to ask, however, how is the way they rejected me, most of them without even reading the content of my post here, any different from the rejection that they are supposed to be uniting to work against? I also wonder, if they are so concerned about anyone being offended, just how they plan on effecting change, which by it's very nature offends people. Good luck with that approach.

I said at the beginning that I have been spoiled because that is the first blatant rejection I have received from a GLBT group. My church, comprised of a clear majority of GLBT members, has accepted me just as I am from day one, and this experience reminded me that I should not take that for granted.

For GLBT people who want and deserve to be treated with respect by people who aren't like tham, I suggest they remember to give what they hope to receive.

Acceptance does work BOTH ways.

The Level of Debate

An online chat at WashingtonPost.com today featured two members of the Maryland state legislature who took questions regarding the constitutional amendment up for consideration that would make same-sex marriage against the law.

Favoring the amendment was Republican delegate Adelaide C. Eckardt. Opposing it was Democratic delegate Richard S. Madaleno Jr. The difference in the depth these two delegates brought to this issue was striking. I'll link to both chats below, but here are some of what I consider the most interesting comments.

Delegate Eckardt:

Q: One of the primary justifications I have heard for this amendment is the maintenance of the traditional institution of marriage. Slavery and women being unable to vote, both also historic examples of rights being denied to a section of our population, were also tradition at one time. What makes this issue different? (that question was my contribution)

A: Marriage between a man and a woman has been at the very foundation of our society - and essentially was for procreation.

Q: I want to know what Del. Eckardt recommends gay couples do to protect themselves in retirement. My partner and I are approaching retirement, and I am worried that if my partner dies before I do (he is 10 years my senior and has been the breadwinner in our family the past couple of years) that I will be in big trouble due to the lack of Social Security and health benefits that I can't enjoy because I am unable to marry. What would Del. Eckardt do if he were in my situation?

A: When individuals choose their lifestyle there may be implications.

Q: You state that there has been an "erosion" to our society by the courts. What is that erosion? Can you please explain? This a much-used talking point, but no one explains what the erosion is. Your thoughts?

A: A gradual chipping away of this country's most basic institutions.

Delegate Madaleno:

He had an opening statement, unlike his colleague

Thank you for allowing me to answer your questions concerning legislation to amend the Maryland constitution, House Bill 48. I do not support the call for a referendum on the issue of marriage equality. A constitution provides a blueprint for the structure of government and guarantees certain rights to protect its citizens from government interference. The Maryland Constitution provides its citizens the right to turn to both their elected representatives and to the judiciary to secure their liberties. This bill, if adopted, would deny this fundamental American right to all those who support marriage equality. I will not support this assault on our fundamental liberties. In my opinion, our country's great innovation was to develop a system of governance that checks majority rule with certain guaranteed rights for the minority no matter how despised. To deny a group of citizens access to their courts and to their legislature due to the decision of a single trail court judge is unwarranted.

I would encourage the readers to review carefully the language of HB 48. Section (B) of the amendment would prohibit the legal recognition of any relationship between two people of the same gender. Not only would it prohibit civil unions, it is so broad that it would prohibit any public agency from providing health care benefits to domestic partners. It is so vague that we cannot begin to know all of its consequences. For example, the language could prohibit a mother from designating a daughter in a power of attorney since they are both of the same gender and medical decision making is a benefit of marriage. Others say it could prohibit divorce. Therefore, I believe that this proposal is unworkable and unwieldy.


Again, the difference in the level of dialogue between these two legislators was very striking. From debates I have heard and comments I have read, it is representative of how each side approaches this issue. Opponents of same-sex marriage that I have seen tend to rely on tradition, religion, and fear of change, while proponents often approach it as a civil rights issue.

In my last post, I said I felt it was important for someone to be educated on the issues. I fear that a substantial portion of the majority of people same-sex marriage opponents often point to are not terribly well versed on the implications of these issues. In the Washington Post debate, delegate Eckardt clearly was not sure of the far reaching implications of the Maryland amendment. Conversely, Delegate Madaleno has clearly done his homework.

Tradition is no basis for deciding this issue. Over time in the bible, traditions changed. God's will for mankind has been a gradual revealation. The days of concubines are long gone. The procreation agruement also falls short, since there are plenty of hetrosexual couples that can't have children.

Since I've taken away the easy answers for the opponents of same-sex marriage, maybe THEY need to do some homework. I'm confident if they do, some opinions will change.

Links for the Washington Post chat:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2006/01/31/DI2006013101199.html (Rep. Eckardt)

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2006/01/31/DI2006013101209.html (Rep. Madaleno)

Don't Trust the System, Trust the Lord

After today's vote in the U. S. senate, it is all but a certainty that Samuel Alito will be confirmed tomorrow as the next Supreme Court justice. I'm not knowledgeable enough to say conclusively if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I do know most GLBT rights groups feel strongly that his confirmation will move the Supreme Court further to the right and be a blow to their fight for equal rights.

It is a frustrating time in our nation for anyone who believes in the rights of individuals. There is little dialogue anymore. People are neatly distributed in red states and blue states. You're either for the government or against them. We're in a very black and white society that doesn't deal well with the infinite shades of grey that exist beyond the very rigid doctrine conservative leaders are pushing to make the law of our land.

The frustration of those of us working against that doctrine can be debilitating, if we allow it to be.

Education about issues is a critical, and I believe a frequently missing, part of making decisions and forming policy. There is something much more important, however, that I feel is even more sadly lacking in leaders and voters alike--the education that can only be provided by The Holy Spirit of God.

People need to work to influence our political system to effect change in our laws because it the only process available to Americans to do so. What leads us to choose a side on an important issue? Is it the loving spirit of God, or is it a personal agenda working toward protecting a person's perceived standing in society at the expense of everyone else who is not like them.

So much right wing policy has "traditional family values" wrapped around it. One of the leading religious organizations pushing the move to the right is Focus on the Family. "Preserve traditional family values," conservatives say. "Marriage is traditionally between a man and a woman," they cry.

It is absolutely true that the traditional family has a man, wife, and children. It is also true that tradition used to be that women were treated like property. In Jesus' time, if a woman's husband and sons died, she had no recourse but to beg for mercy from others. It used to be a tradition that familes had slaves--actually OWNED people.

Thankfully, our society has grown beyond those dehumanizing practices. Proponents of keeping those traditions in place often used scriptures to defend their positions, but enough people saw through that to slowly, sometimes painfully, effect positive social change.

In the United States today, scripture is again being used to slow, if not stop dead in its tracks, social change that would give GLBT individuals the rights that others in our society take for granted. God's own word is twisted to treat homosexuals as lesser beings, subject to hate crimes and denied the right to enter into the holy union of marriage.

If you remember, the devil used scripture to tempt Jesus when he spent 40 days in the desert. The bible is the greatest single source of wisdom in the history of mankind, but even that can used to promote the agenda of people ahead of the agenda of God.

As individuals, we need to seek God's will for our lives, and His plan for how we should affect the lives of others. We then need to ACT on those plans, inside our churches and within our political system, two seperate and distinct venues to improve the quality of our lives and those we come in contact with.

I am confident that His plans never include hatred toward our fellow man, committing unprovoked acts of violence, or denying rights to people based on what gender God made them natrually attracted to. If anybody tells you differently, no matter how many millions of dollars he may have at his disposal or how many books he has written, I feel with all my heart and everything the Holy Spirit has blessed me with, that you must seriously question that person's motives. Are they trying to lead you to follow God, or themselves.

YOU are responsible for seeking God's guidance for your life. If you yield that power to any other person, then you will see their filtered version of God and literally put your eternal future in their hands.

There's only one person I trust with that, and His name is Jesus Christ. If you don't look for Him to guide your decisions every day of your life, I urge you to get connected to Him and yield control to Him. You will never, ever make a smarter or more important decision than that.

Leaders Need to Lead, Not Follow

As the battle gears up in Maryland regarding the proposed amendment to the state constitution that would ban same-sex marriage, opinions of politicians are being sought out. With many of the state's "leaders", particularly on the Democratic side, you would have an easier time finding a Jerry Falwell fan at a gay bar than find out where they stand on this issue. Instead of standing up for what they believe, many Democrats are diving for cover.

Many deomcrats in the state do not want to face the political implications of this amendment being on the state's ballot in November. They fear it will mobilize Republicans to turn out to the polls and possibly push the balance of power in Annapolis more toward the GOP.

A painfully clear example of this, according to the Washington Post article posted on the Equality Maryland website, is State Senator James Brochin. He represents what is considered a fairly conservative portion of Baltimore County. When asked his position on the same-sex marriage ban amendment, Brochin said he would do "what my district tells me to do." He then added, "Would you mind if that's all I say on this?"

This is leadership? No, this is leadership:

Titus 1:9 (NIV) "He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it."

Republican Delegate Donald H. Dwyer is the sponsor of the amendment, and he says that 44 signiatures have already been obtained on a petition to bring it directly to the House floor for a vote. I strongly disagree with Rep. Dwyer but respect his clarity on this issue. At least he has put himself out there, win or lose, and shown leadership that is much less prevalent on the other side of the isle.

Jesus did not seek a consensus during his time on earth. He had a message, a clear purpose, and He pursued that at the cost of great pain and suffering before He ascended back to heaven.

Today's "leaders" in America do not run the risk of being nailed to a cross, but many of them act like it. Our country deserves leaders in office, not pollsters or puppets of special interests with deep pockets. I encourage you to keep that in mind the next time you cast a ballot.

A Wonderful Response

Justin Dean, who writes the interesting blog “Tales from the Convent,” recently received an e-mail from someone who wrote that they were praying for the empty lifestyle he had chosen and that Justin would find Christ.

Justin, a gay Christian, took time to respond to that writer with love and patience, and I thought my readers would appreciate seeing his response. Justin explained how he did not chose the gay lifestyle and offered his prayers for the individual who e-mailed him, asking for the Lord to open his heart and mind.

Here’s the e-mail and Justin’s thoughtful response.

Gay or God?

Spend on Saving Souls, Not Buying Votes

A report came out today that $13 million was spent in a total of 13 states during the 2004 elections on both sides of campaigns involving the issue of same-sex marriage. The report states that nearly $2 million came directly from churches. Most of those funds were to support initiatives banning same-sex marriage, but that's not the issue I'm raising here.

Why are churches helping to finance political campaigns?

Churches are funded almost entirely on contributions from their members. In any church I have belonged to, I understood that my donations were to be used in the funding of ministry work. After all, isn't that supposed to be its primary function?

I wonder anymore. Churches and religious orgainzations put a lot of money and other resources into political causes these days trying to make the laws of the United States adhere to their religious convictions.

Here's an idea--take that money and devote those resources toward leading people to Jesus. The politically active "fundamentalists" want to make this a christian nation, and what better way to accomplish that goal than to have a nation full of christians?

Because then the "fundamentalists" can't control people's actions as they seek to do through legislative and judicial means. If people develop their own relationship with Jesus Christ, there is no guarantee they will subscribe to the"fundamentalist" political policies.

If churches and religious leaders are truly worried about the souls of America, they are preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ and following his example. Do you know how many times the word "politics" is in my NIV New Testament? The same as the word "abortion," none. That's only one fewer than the frequency of the word "homosexual."

Churches that are active in the political arena and promoting their views on abortion, homosexuality, and other important social issues may be doing many things, but they are NOT following the example Jesus Christ set during his time on earth.

How can the body of Christ be effective winning souls for Jesus when their priority is winning elections?

They can't, and it makes the jobs of other congregations that DO follow Jesus' example more difficult because all of the attention these political churches draw to themselves has the effect of drawing all bodies of Christ under the same umbrella.

This row has been plowed before. The Pharisees added law upon law upon law before the birth of Christ, and that worked out so well that God had to send His son down to earth to be crucified to clean up the mess.

Please, let's work in our churches to stop modern-day Pharisees from further corrupting the body of Christ in our time.

Open Minded Youth

My friend Sharone sent me a link to this letter to the editor that appeared in the Culpeper (Virginia) Citizen newspaper recently. It was written by someone who is already very involved in equality issues despite, according to Sharone, not even being 18 years old.

Letter to the editor

It struck me that my generation (I'm 47 years old) will fight and claw for advances in equality for GLBT people, but it will probably take the next generation like the letter writer to effect complete, long-lasting change.

I dare say most of the people growing up in my generation were indoctinated with the teaching of the evils of homosexuality. As a result of this prevailing value, it was rare that I encountered a GLBT person that was out of the closet, and I was not able to connect the idea of homosexuality with real people.

Someone growing up in the last 15-20 years, however, is much more likely to have met openly GLBT people. This has afforded them the opportunity to know these people and push homosexuality beyond a concept and into reality. Knowledge and understanding breed acceptance, and there is much more of that among people in their teens and twenties than older folks like me.

Their is great reason to hope that the up and coming generation of leaders will bring a much greater attitude of acceptance and promotion of equality among everyone, but let's not wait for them to get in place. Let's blaze the trail now so people can benefit sooner rather than later.

A Step Forward in Maryland

A Baltimore Circuit Court judge today struck down Maryland's law against same-sex marriage, offering the opinion that it "cannot withstand this constitutional challenge." The state attorney quickly filed an appeal, meaning that the case will go before the Maryland Court of Appeals. This is essentially the state's supreme court and, one way or the other, is the final stop for this case. A decision from that court is not expected until 2007.

The court also opined, "Indeed, this court is unable to even find that the prohibition of same-sex marriage rationally relates to a legitimate state interest." Apparently this judge agrees with Equality Maryland, an organization I belong to, and other groups that civilization will not be destroyed if gay and lesbian couples can legally marry.

This court decision comes as the Maryland Lesiglature is early in its 2006 session and may consider a state constitutional amendment that would prohibit same-sex marriage. I will join my fellow members of Equality Maryland for a rally at the State House in Annapolis on February 13 calling for the defeat of that measure. For more information, you can check out the Equality Maryland website.

Interestingly, a group of Maryland religious leaders will come together next week to hold their own rally opposing that same amendment. I would be hypocritical if I did not share my discomfort with that. I'm glad they are on the same side of this issue as I am, but their demonstration regarding a political issue while representing their churches is no different than if a group of right-wing clergy coming out to support it.

I've already written at some length about how strongly I oppose the political activism of churches and the leaders that represent them. I would be a lot happier if these clergy members joined the rally on February 13, counting as one person/one voice just like me.

Maryland goverernor Robert Ehrlich, a republican, is on record as believing marriage is meant to be only between a man and a woman. I certainly respect Mr. Ehrlich's right to believe that and teach that value to his children, but it's time to allow grown-ups to chart their own paths and make their own choices, even if they conflict with the governor's value system.

Ultimately, we all have to answer to God about these choices, and I believe we should not be restricted by any state or federal government's definition of who should be allowed to love each other and have legal rights consistent with our commitment to one another.

Disconnected

A recent survey by the Barna Research Group asked church pastors what members of their congregations are most passionate about. The leaders surveyed responses, averaged out, showed that they felt 70% of the adults in their churches consider their faith in God the top priority in their lives.

If this were a version of the "Family Fued" gameshow, that answer would draw a loud buzzer noise and an X on the tv screen.

Survey says...only about 15% of adults felt God was their top priority. This was the result of a second survey done concurrently by Barna.

That, folks, is a HUGE disconnect.

The president of the survey company, George Barna, feels that pastors guage passion by looking at numbers such as church attendance. That's quite a dispassionate way of measuring passion, isn't it.

It's easy to paint a story like this in broad strokes and I'll resist that temptation, but it does at least raise questions.

Perhaps in some of these situations, the church membership is taking the lead from thier pastor. In churches where politics are preached and resources are spent to influence judicial nominations and public policy, I can understand where members would wonder if God is their pastor's top priority. If it isn't, and ostensibly that's the basis for him receiving a salary from the church, then why should God be that important to everyone else?

There is no more effective style of leadership than leading by example. Unfortunately, a bad example can lead people in the wrong direction.

I encourage readers to ask this question of their church pastor; is winning souls for Chirst his top priority, above ALL other functions he performs? If it is not, then I emplore you to do one of two things, either try to get a new pastor or seek out a new church where the leader is focused on winning souls for Christ.

If pews and collection plates stop filling up, maybe some pastors will get the message and refocus. Hopefully, the ones who don't get the message will just go away and let someone with a true passion for Christ's agenda instead of their own fill the leadership void.

Again With the Homosexual Agenda

CBN continues to hammer away at the movie "Brokeback Mountain", using it as an example of Hollywood's efforts to "gain sympathy, if not outright support, for those practicing the homosexual lifestyle."

The article goes on at great length to negate any positive impression this movie might give people of homosexuals by referring to it as propaganda, and even tries to discredit the success it is enjoying at the box office.

This from the network who is led by Pat Robertson, who in recent months has wanted the president of Venezuela whacked and claimed God was whacking the Prime Minister of Isreal.

This article goes on to detail what it implies is an evil conspiracy to "brainwash" people into thinking homosexuality is an acceptable lifestyle. They quote the author of a book about this subject that was actually titled, "The Marketing of Evil."

Apparently it's okay for "fundamentalists" to work together in conspiracies, like the Justice Sunday event I recently wrote about. Once again, different rules are applied to organizations or groups of people that do not subscribe to the narrow, closed-minded message of right-wing religious leaders like Pat Robertson.

Remember, this is the man who wanted the president of Venezuela whacked and claimed God was whacking the Prime Minister of Isreal. That's okay, but a movie sending a message that two gay men might possibly have some redeeming qualities must be stopped!

This mentality has even seeped into the sports world. Larry Miller, the owner of the Utah Jazz pro basketball team, also owns a complex of 17 movie theaters in Sandy, Utah. He apparently did not know about the content of Brokeback Mountain until asked about it in a radio interview the day it was set to open. According to the ESPN report, less than two hours after the interview was finished, the movie was pulled from his theater.

This is yet another clear example of "fundamentalists" not following the example of Jesus even while they try to jam their version of him down our nation's throat. God operates by one set of rules. Even when Jesus was on earth, while He did not observe all of the laws established at the time, laws which were eventually used as the excuse to crucity Him, He obeyed all of God's rules.

If Jesus is not exempt from God's one, unchanging set of rules, NO ONE IS! That, folks, is fundamental christianity.

As people seek spiritual guidance, they need to carefully consider the agenda of any leader they choose to receive it from. If their agenda is not compatible with the teachings and example of Jesus, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.

Not In My Church!

Last Sunday, a large group of religious "fundamentalists" held "Justice Sunday III." This event, featuring religious leaders like Dr. James Dobson and Dr. Jerry Falwell, was held for the third consecutive year in one of the Southern Baptist "mega churches." It was essentially a pep rally for Supreme Court nominee Joseph Alito.

Messages were given from the pulpit, by ordained ministers, pointing out the absolute necessity of Alito's confirmation. According to the article I linked, Dr. Dobson went so far to say at the first Justice Sunday, "My goodness, I just cannot imagine anything more significant that what we are about to do."

In my opinion, any man who could say that influencing judicial appointments is more significant than winning souls for Jesus Christ has no business behind the pulpit of a church!. How can any religious leader with a heart and soul for Christ possibly feel that way! I offer the theory that anyone who could say that is focusing on THEIR agenda, not God's, and isn't much better than the Pharisees who had Jesus put to death.

There is only one thing that should be preached in God's house and that is His word! Men like Dr. Dobson and Dr. Falwell have every right to be politically active and support any policy they so choose. In their roles as pastors and heads of religious organizations, however, they have a responsiblity to follow the example of Jesus.

Check out the gospels one time and see how politically active Jesus was during his time on earth. I'll save you the trouble--he wasn't. There are several examples where people tried to trap Him into making a political statement that would have angered either the ruling Romans or the people of Israel. He never took the bait. That is worth emphasizing. Not only did Jesus not initiate any political activity as part of his ministry, he took great care to avoid even the perception of such.

My minister, Dale Jarrett follows that example very seriously. He is a member of Equality Maryland, a gay-rights group that I also belong to. Fortunately, Dale feels the same way I do--that it is not his place to preach about the activities of that or any organization. He will work with them, but he will not direct our membership to do so. BCF may rent its facility out to a political organization, but it will not be as part of a church service. Dale nor anyone else from the church leadership would not do anything remotely resembling preaching during any such activity.

There is only one gospel that should be preached in church. It has nothing to do with conservatives or liberals, republicans or deomcrats, gays or hetros. It needs to be about the love of God and the examples He set and the word that He inspired.

If it's about anything else, then step away from the pulpit and call it a political rally, because it's not church anymore.

Follow Up-Oklahoma Pastor Resigns

I want to close the loop on a story I wrote about a few days ago. Lonnie Latham, a church pastor and member of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee, has resigned both positions. Latham admitted that the charges of him soliciting sex from an undercover policeman were true.

I don't want to pile on here. Instead, I ask you to join me in praying for Mr. Latham and his family. Specifically, let's pray that Mr. Latham opens his heart and mind to understand who he truly is. Also, ask that God helps him make any adjustments he needs to live a life that honestly represents how God made him.

If You're a Public Official, Get Real

One of the main themes I write about is how God wants us to be true to Him and also true to how He made us. I think of the New Testament example of the Pharisees, the keepers of the religious law whose sanctimonious actions were not representative of their hardened hearts. It was all about appearances with the Pharisees, and there are numerous examples in the Gospels of Jesus teaching how and why this was wrong. Actions don't mean anything in the kingdom of heaven if they don't have pure motives. Jesus had no tolerance for phonies.

When I look at the legislators and other public officials who will be involved in deciding issues of critical importance to GLBT individuals, I see a lot of people Jesus would have no tolerance for. There are far too many law makers and policy shapers who portray themselves as something they are not; loving family men/women who are having affairs, successful business leaders who obtain that status by using unscrupulous methods, and people who have portrayed their views one way to gain their office then act in a different manner.

I'm sure we can all agree about the damage people like this do to the process of forming and maintaining public policy. I would like to add one more group to this list--gays and lesbians who are in the closet.

I've heard the rationalization for this--a GLBT individual can do more to help the community's causes from the inside, and it's easier to gain that position if people think they are straight. That is, at least in most cases, probably true, but that does not make it right. How is that any better than the politician who campaigns with his wife and kids and sneaks out with his mistress when the cameras are off? Why do politicians who gain office by staying in the closet deserve more respect than ones who lied and cheated on the campaign trail to get there?

In my view, it is not any better and they don't deserve any more respect. The most important qualities I want in political leadership are intelligence, honesty, and sincerety. Too often in this country, the second and third items are severely compromised if not entirely ignored. I want to know what a public official stands for, and the fact of whether they are hetrosexual or gay/lesbian has to be a part of that equation.

Please don't misunderstand me, I am not advocating outing anyone. I believe very strongly that is wrong and a gross invasion of privacy. People who are representing me or deciding policy that will affect my life, however, give up some of their privacy rights for that opportunity. If someone is unable or unwilling to be honest about who they are, I feel they need to stay in private industry and have their private lives.

ANYONE who is in a position of public influence will not earn my respect unless they show me enough respect to tell me who they are. I'm an educated man and want to make educated decisions about the people who represent me.

Beware Rhetoric with Absolutes

In the latest outburst Jerry Falwell sent to his supporters, he takes on one of his favorite targets-Hollywood. He started out stating his opposition to the new NBC program, "The Book of Daniel," then goes into a condemnation of Hollywood in general.

One of the important lessons I learned as a young man was to be sceptical of anyone who spoke or wrote in absolutes. By this, I mean that when someone uses the terms "always" or "never" or any of their derrivates, they are likely exaggerating their point. If you take a moment and think about that objectively, how many things can you accurately use those phrases to describe when discussing human behavior? Very, very few I believe.

There is only one absolute in the lives of my wife and myself, and that is the love of God. He is ALWAYS there for us and he will NEVER stop loving us. Everything else on earth is pretty much up for grabs.

That's why it aggravates me to see a religious leader like Dr. Falwell speak in absolute terms when condemning his latest target. In the quotes I refer to here, he does not use the acutal words always and never, but he clearly implies their meaning.

For example, Falwell states, "I guess since the networks long ago deemed that morality is an ever-changing mood, it was determined that Christian characters would also need to reflect a sense of moral imbalance and fundamental corruption. So if Christians aren’t portrayed as complete lunatics, they are shown as being just as confused about life as network executives. These depictions of 'Christians' are wholly dishonest."

Wholly dishonest? Christians are human beings, Dr. Falwell, and some of them do terrible things. No portrayal of Christians can be "wholly dishonest" because there's some element of truth in the most and least favorable ones. Of course, the good doctor only wants positive portrayals. I suspect that, like any other pastor of a large church, Dr. Falwell can look out from his putpit toward his congregation and see drug users, adulterers, and yes even homosexuals safely tucked away in their closets.

It also seems to me there HAVE been some good views of christians on television in recent memory. How about "Seventh Heaven", "Touched By an Angel", and "Highway to Heaven" as three examples. I'm sure there are others, but I don't watch a lot of television where there is not a sporting event involved.

I'm sure Dr. Falwell was uncomfortable watching parts of "The Book of Daniel." Brenda and I watched the entire two-hour episode since I knew it would be a topic of discussion and I wanted to be informed. I think the best way to sumarize the program would be calling it a soap opera with Jesus. There are some twisted characters on this program. The Episcopalian priest has a very dark side, although he showed a good side as well. It seemed the most well adjusted person on the show was the homosexual son, which I'm sure really ticked off fundamentalits.

Dr. Falwell referred to the portrayal of Jesus in this show as a "kind of inane wise guy." I don't believe that is totally inaccurate, but is conveniently taken out of context. Jesus speaks to us in ways we can understand it. Sometimes the messages He sends me would fall under the category of wise guy, but that's where I am too.

If we seek Him out, He will come to us and meet us where we are to share His message in a manner that we can process it and use it in our lives. I believe that is how Jesus was communicating with the lead character in "The Book of Daniel." To acknowledge that, however, would give more validation to the program than would serve Dr. Falwell's purposes.

This is another clear example of the danger people run into when they try to view the world as only black or white. There are an infinite variety of shades of gray that we might miss and learn something from, which would conflict with the absolute message of "leaders" like Dr. Falwell. Instead of "toeing the line" like his ilk of fundamentalists would have us do, we can greatly enrich our lives and, more importantly our faith, by opening our minds and hearts.

Be Led By the Spirit, Not By Man

A member of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee who is also the pastor of a church in Tulsa, Oklahoma was among those arrested in a police sting Tuesday night and charged with solicitation for prostitution with a man. You can read more about the details, but it's worth mentioning that the pastor, Lonnie Latham, is on record as being very anti-homosexual. Ironic, isn't it?

Of course, I don't know if Mr. Latham is guilty, but this incident raises other issues.

How often do we see that those who scream the loudest against something they consider a moral sin are practicing it themselves and using thier condemnation as some type of twisted self-flagellation or self-loathing.

It's even worse when it done by an alleged person of God, and even worse again when it is a leader. That's why we can't follow men, we just need to follow God, because people will invariably screw up and lead us toward disillusionment, which we then blame Him for.

There are gifted speakers and leaders who are filled with God words and spirit who can teach great wisdom and touch our hearts. We should take advantage of their knowledge and put that in the mix with our own bible study and prayer.

Each person, though, needs to find their own path to God. We can never be sure of the path someone else might lead us down.

Maryland-A Battleground State

Same-sex marriage is currently one of the hot political topics in the nation and perhaps the one that is of most interest to the GLBT community. According to this article on CBN.com, my home state of Maryland will be one of the primary battlegrounds. CBN is reporting that over 500 churches in the state are prepared to mobilize and join the fight, likely in support of a state constitutional amendment that would make same-sex unions aginst the law.

One of the arguements put forth in this article against gay marriage was attributed to Rev. Richard Bowers, chairman of the group Defending Maryland Marriage. He asserted, "We were told to populate this world, multiply and be fruitful, and those unions do not have that capability, even on their best day."

Does this mean that gay and lesbian people are expected to marry and produce children with people they don't love and aren't attracted to just to propigate the race? Don't we have enough straight people doing that already? Where does this leave hetrosexual people who never marry and don't have children? Is it then okay for lesbian couples to marry if at least one of them get artificially inseminated and produce children?

Not surprisingly, the CBN reporter did not ask those questions, probably not wanting logic to interfere with the right-wing rhetoric.

You'll be reading a lot about this issue on this blog, especially how it plays out in Maryland since I will have some involvement in opposing that amendment. Please join me in praying that the Lord's will be done here and all over our nation.

Some Common Ground

In this story reported by CBN, there is a Bishop in Connecticut named Jay Ramirez who very passionately expresses his concerns about the negative consequences the acceptance of homosexuality will have on society. This is fairly typical right-wing rhetoric, but the reason I post about it here is that there some great truths Bishop Ramirez talked about toward the end of this piece. In particular, he said:

"We must set an example,” Ramirez urged. “We cannot have a close to 50-percent divorce rate in the church. We cannot have Christians that are running around in adultery, running around as single Christians experimenting -- Christians who are living together. All of these things...all of which do occur --and then turn around to this community and say 'We want you to be like us.'"

From what I have seen, many of those people who speak out in public against homosexuality don't make much effort to hold themselves accountable to the higher standards Jesus expects his people to live by. While I disagree with much of what the Bishop said in this interview, we share that fundamental belief.

Before any of us point the finger at others, we need to look in the mirror and see what kind of example we are setting with our own lives. If we are not adhering to the principles God laid out in the bible and the example Jesus set in his ministry, we need to keep out mouth shut and straighten out our spiritual condition!

Back to the Light at BCF

This week's issue of "Metro Weekly," a Washington, DC area magazine targeted toward toward the gay and lesbian community, featured an interview with the pastor of my church, Dale Jarrett. Pastor Jarrett talks about the role he sees the church filling in the GLBT community. I'm linking the whole piece, but this part is worth highlighting:

"A lot of people don't know what the Bible really said. They know what a preacher yelled at them from a pulpit. God does not have an issue with us. People do. And that comes out of their own ignorance and lack of willingness to question whether they're right or wrong. Too often, we've turned away from God because of the way God's people have treated us.''

I encourage you to read the entire interview:

http://www.metroweekly.com/community/neighborhood_pages.php?ak=1916

Talk It and Walk It

I recently saw a post in one of the Yahoo groups I belong to refer to Jesus' ministry as "not one of ideas, but of acts." That struck me as something deeply profound, and it accurately describes His time on earth. Sure, He preached and introduced an amazing wealth of new ideas into our world, but He also took action.

Jesus threw the money changers out of the temple, healed the sick, and provided food for the hungry. Most importantly, of course, was his willingness to die a painful, gruesome death on behalf of mankind and establish the path for our salvation.

This example is a fairly straightforward one to apply in our lives, yet it often proves very difficult to do. It's not because there are not opportunities--the need for service greatly outweighs the resources available. From my experience, I feel it is the sinful nature of man that pushes us toward focusing on taking care of ourselves and makes service to others seem burdensome and uncomfortable.

I, for one, have decided to practice what I am preaching. I have recently signed up with an organization called Equality Maryland and have volunteered to participate in a protest at the State House in February against a proposed amendment that would make same-sex marriage illegal. I also plan on helping out the organization in other ways, along with assisting the local county branch of the organization.

Political involvement is important, but from where I sit it should never come ahead of our service to God. That's why my wife Brenda and I continue to ramp up our involvement in our church. She will soon be assuming some pastoral duties, while I am helping establish a drama ministry and supporting her outreach work. It's a busy life we have, but it's a very good one that God continues to bless and make better as time goes by.

None of these activites may sound appealing to you, and that's fine. Trust me, you won't have to look very hard to find something that fits your personality and utilizes the gifts that God gave you. This is especially important regarding the GLBT community.

There is a very loud, well financed group of people in this nation that would love nothing better than to chase every GLBT person back into the closet and never hear from them again. If you are part of this community, your rights are being threatened and you need to take action. If you are straight like me, you need to step up and let those who are narrow-minded towards GLBT people know that you won't stand for them being treated like second-class citizens, both in the political arena and in the house of God.

As we move into a New Year, people like to make resolutions and set goals. If you are not currently active, I strongly encourage you to make 2006 your year to ACT!

Happy New Year's everyone, and may God richly bless you in 2006.

The Next Boycott Target

The folks at the American Family Organization, basking in the glow of saving Christmas from heathen retailers who wouldn't address customers with "Merry Christmas," have locked onto their next target, the NBC television network.

NBC is rolling out a new program titled "The Book of Daniel." The main character is a troubled Episcopal priest and his very disfunctional family, which includes a 23-year old homosexual son. The AFA is deeply offended by this program, which they claim "mocks christianity."

The AFA is trying to mobilize its members to e-mail the chairman of NBC, Bob Wright, to express their outrage that the network would even consider airing this type of program, and is also asking people to get their friends and family to do the same.

I have no opinion about the program because I have not seen it yet. There are plenty of other shows on my cable system which I do find offensive, and I would suggest people follow my lead if they are upset about "The Book of Daniel." It's a radical approach, but it's just crazy enough to work.

Don't watch it.

Doesn't the AFA realize that the bigger stink they make about this program, the more people they will influence to actually watch the show out of curiosity, myself included. I'm not an expert on the television industry, but their is one basic principle of a market economy that is almost foolproof that applies here--supply and demand.

If their is little demand for a television program, the supply will stop because it will be pulled off the air. Apathy is the enemy of the entertainment industry. Free press, including public protest campaigns, can be a great asset.

If "The Book of Daniel" offends you, may I suggest you turn the channel or even turn your television off completely and spend your time focused on loved ones or doing something constructive, like reading this blog.

Please don't waste everyone's time with petitions and counter-productive protests. There's a long list of ways we can better spend the precious time that the Lord gives us on earth.

Treasures

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Brenda and I sure did. We had an opportunity to entertain about a dozen members of her family and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. As an added bouns, there were no casualties or any property damage while the six kids were here.

Of course, one of the major events of Christmas is opening the presents. How wonderful it is to see loved ones enjoy gifts that you have put a lot of thought into and braved the hoardes at the mall to buy. It is also very nice to receive special gifts from loved ones who have done the same for you. As we tally up the loot, let's keep this scripture in mind.

Matthew 6:19-21: Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

While its great to receive that electronic gadget you wanted or the special book, dress, or decoration for the home, Jesus told us in the above scripture we need to make sure that is not where we put our focus. Possessions come and go, but it's what we do with our lives that matters to God.

It's okay for us to enjoy what we have, especially those items that are special gifts from special people in our lives. It's also okay in our Creator's eyes if we don't have the wealth of our neighbor. We are blessed with true riches when we focus our lives on Jesus and model what we do and how we spend our time after the example he set for us.

Before he started his ministry, Jesus was a hard working carpenter who would probably be thought of as no better than lower middle-class in todays socio-economic structure. Obviously, accumulating wealth was not important to his mission on earth. What he stood for and what he did for others is what set him apart. As we catch our second wind from the holiday rush, let's try to approach our lives the same way.

Hope

If I would sum up what the birth of Jesus and the entire foundation of Christianity means to me in one word, it would be hope. On the day of His birth, an angel annouced Him to shepherds:

Luke 2: 10-11 "I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."

With this birth, the path to man's salvation was set in place. The birth of Jesus was the beginning of God's plan to reconcile mankind to Himself. There was hope for everyone!

As we all move through this Christmas season, some of us have families that love us and want to share it with us, and some of us don't. This can be a tough time of year for people who fall into the latter group. It is always difficult to see others enjoying something you don't have and once had yourself, or perhaps were never able to enjoy.

Thanks to Jesus, though, there is hope. Not everyone will wind up with a Norman Rockwell lifestyle, but that does not mean God will not have blessings, happiness, and joy available to us if we seek Him and follow His guidance in how we live our life.

I believe with all my heart that His love and blessings are available to ALL His people, regardless of anything, if we turn our lives over to Him.

If you are receiving these blessings, please take a moment to thank Him. If you aren't, this would be a great time to start.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good life!

"Twas The Fight Over Christmas"

I received a link to this piece today, written in the form of "Twas The Night Before Christmas." I think it is a cleaver and profound commentary on the supposed "War On Christmas" a group of "fundamentalists" have declared is ongoing this year.

http://www.ethicsdaily.com/article_detail.cfm?AID=6704

What SNN is About

This little corner of the blogosphere reached two milestones recently. We received our 3,000th visitor, and the site was viewed in our 50th nation. Since we've picked up a lot of new readers in recent weeks, especially from international locations, I want to take a moment and affirm why I write this blog.

My posts will generally touch on at least one of these two main points; positive, biblically based affirmations of God's love for ALL people, or examples of how people acting under the umbrella of christianity have acted in manners that I feel are in contast to the teachings of the bible and the example Jesus showed during his ministry on earth.

It was the negative examples that made me angry and motivated me to start this blog back in June. Since then, I have had the opportunity to exchange views with a diverse group of people from whom I've learned a great deal. Whenever possible, I try to share those teachings with other readers so we can ALL grow in our understanding of God's love and his plan for our lives.

Please understand, this site is first and foremost about Jesus and the teachings of the bible as they apply, or are misapplied, to those in the GLBT community.

Unfortunately, though, politics must play a role in my content here. Politics and religion are far too closely intertwined these days. This is largely due, in my opinion, to "fundamentalists" who are part of the so-called religious right who have pushed an agenda cloaked in God's name.

I strongly feel that many of the issues where the "fundamentalists" have claimed the higher moral ground are based on interpretations of God's word that bear little resemblance to what is written in the bible. The bible is not easy, and those who put forth absolutely rigid interpretations of its message are often filtering God's word through their own agenda. When I see significant examples of this, I address it and show what I feel Jesus truly wants His people to do in that situation.

I don't want to just preach to the choir here, although reinforcing and affirming God's message to the GLBT community would by itself still be a worthwhile endeavor. I also hope people who don't accept GLBT people's place in God's kingdom read this material and open their minds and hearts to the possibility that there are other views.

Thank you for visiting Straight, Not Narrow. I am excited about having this opportunity to address important issues involving the GLBT community and look forward to continuing this dialogue to an ever expanding population.

A Response from Arlington Assembly of God

On December 6, I posted a letter that Sharone Belt, a deacon candidate at my church, wrote to the Arlington Assembly of God. It was addressed to associate pastor Lynn Carter, and she was kind enough to send a very loving, thoughtful response.

This really struck me as the type of dialog christians should be having with one another regarding homosexuality, or any other topic for that matter. Ms. Carter's note was totally devoid of hate or anything except the love of Jesus. It was very refreshing and a true example of how people act when the love of God dwells inside of them and they don't beat it down with personal agendas.


Dear Sharone,

Thank you so much for your email. I appreciate your heart and am glad you understand that we as a church are attempting to reach out in love, to all people who do not know Him.

I am glad that you felt free to write and that you have such a sweet spirit toward other believers. While I may not agree with all your views, I am thankful for your relationship with Jesus and pray that you will continue to know His love and grace.

I, too, was saved at 6 and filled with the Holy Spirit at 12. Doesn't it make you wonder how people survive without knowing Him? His love and peace are the strength of my life. What a honored to be loved by the Father.

I pray your Christmas will be filled with His light and love.

Lynn Carter
Arlington Assembly of God

AFA Vs. Ford, Round 2?

The Ford Motor Company reassessed the direction the wind was blowing this week and reversed the reversal of its policy of advertising in gay publications. I haven't seen this much public waffling since the last time my wife and I visited a Waffle House restaurant.

The American Family Association took credit for Ford's initial reversal and they now say that the automaker reneged on agreements that Ford initially denied making in the first place. As a result, they are again considering a boycott of Ford.

On the AFA's website, they claim a membership of over 3 milion people and proclaim themselves as "America's Largest Pro-Family Action Site." They have taken on a laundry list of issues they feel threatens the american family, including "The Homosexual Agenda." Any orgainzation of their size has some clout, and they are not shy about trying to use it.

I am a big believer in the family, having grown up in one myself. A chrsitian based organization devoted to helping families can be a wonderful benefit to people in need and our nation's society overall. Think of how much good they could do! Helping feed hungry children, lobbying for better education in low-income areas, working against domestic violence, helping provide alternatives to abortion; the list of areas whare a group like this could help in is a long one.

To be fair, the AFA is involved in many of these types of activites and had helped a lot of people.

So why in the world are they taking up their time and resources worrying about what publications automobile advertising is printed in? When you compare that issue to the ones I listed above and others related to them, the car ads seem quite lame to me.

My issue here is not about the merits of Ford's actions. It is about prioritizing. Jesus demonstrated the importance of that during his ministry on earth. He knew a critical resource, time, was very limited so he did not let himself get distracted with activities that drew him away from the mission God sent him to do.

Jesus could have healed every sick person in the world if that was what God had wanted him to do, and it would be hard to find fault if his ministry had taken that direction. He did perform some healing and miracles, but only enough to support his top priority-saving mankind. He did not fall into the trap summed up by the old cliche "not seeing the forest for the trees." Jesus ministered to individuals, but he never lost sight of the big picture and allowed himself to be dragged into issues that, while important, paled in comparision to the reason he was sent to earth-to save mankind.

I have certainly had many occassions in my life when I allowed myself to get preoccupied with the trees and lost my focus on the overall forest. It seems that is what the AFA and organizations like it are doing when they get caught up in debates like the one with Ford's advertising. There are a LOT of bigger fish to fry and people to help.

The devil can indeed lurk in the details and use them to neutralize good intentions, even those of three million people. Let's all use this example as a reminder to keep our focus on doing the truly important work God put us on earth to do, just like Jesus did.

Gifts

Many of us are obsessing about gifts as we approach Christmas. After all, isn't that what the holiday is all about? It's easy to think that way if you allow yourself to cave in under the avalanche of advertising in every form of media this time of year.

It can be very difficult to keep anything in perspective at this time of year with the pressure of preparing the holiday for children, fighting the hordes of shoppers at the mall, working toward the end of a semester at school, or being crushed by the pressure of year-end requirements at work. Here's some help.

2 Corinthians 9:6-9
Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: "He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor; his righteousness endures forever."

Especially at this time of the year, it is important (and often more difficult) to remember why we are exchanging gifts and gathering with our families. Christmas is all about giving, but remember the greatest gift of all was Jesus. God gave him to mankind to provide a path to salvation, to bless mankind with the gift of eternal life if we accepted him as our Lord and Savior. He didn't have to do that--he wanted to.

As He has in every aspect or our lives, God has provided an example for how we should give, as Paul wrote about in the above scripture. This applies to the gifts we give to each other, to be sure, but it goes well beyond that.

As we are preparing to stack gifts beneath our Christmas tree, we need to remember those less fortunate. What have we done for them? Do we have excess we could have shared with them? Is there one gift we purchased we could have done without and given those funds to a group or individual who NEEDED it?

Even more importantly, have we given what we can to God? Have we invested in electronic gadgets, jewelry, and toys and not given the Lord a part of our wealth? If we have given back, did we make a big production presenting our donation or did we quietly slip it in the collection plate or in the mail? Did we do it for His glory, or for ours?

When were're stuck in traffic driving to the mall or standing in line at a store, let's take a moment to think about that. By addressing the distribution of our funds, we can find our where our hearts are and where they need to be.

Keeping the True Spirit of Christmas

Several "fundamentalist" orgainzations, including "fair and balanced if you're conservative" Fox News and a group led by Jerry Fallwell, are pushing retailers to use the word Christmas and to prevent local governments from prohibiting manger displays.

John Gibson, one of Fox News' hosts, even wrote a book titled "The War on Christmas". Boy, that group sure doesn't shy away from a war of any type, do they? Falwell's latest organization, "Friend or Foe Christmas Organization," is raising money to pay lawyers to save Christmas. Is it just me or does that sentence seem like an oxymoron? In this article. Falwell says, "There's been a concerted effort to steal Christmas, to deny little children their right to sing Silent Night and Joy to the World."

I'm not going to address this by taking the obvious routes of railing against the commercialization of the holiday or the separation of church and state. Something more, dare I say, fundamental, strikes me about all this hubub.

I reread the most detailed biblical description of the birth of Christ, in the second chapter of Luke. There was no ceremony regarding the birth of our Lord and Savior. He was essentially born in a barn, and angels led the wise men to him to worhsip privately.

That's one thing we so often forget about Jesus. He came into the world with no fanfare, and left it in the same way. We are not obligated to buy expensive gifts and decorate a large tree to celebrate his birth. We only need to acknowledge in our hearts how this was a critical part of God's plan of redemption for mankind.

When we go shopping, who cares if we are greeted with "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Hollidays?" If I want to go somewhere to see religious displays, I generally go to church, not a courthouse or city hall. We all need to be a lot more concerned about what is in people's hearts, not what fancy display they construct or what store they shop at.

Do you think Jesus really cares about all of this? If he did, he probably would have been born in a five-star hotel and not a barn.

Taking Their Ball and Going Home

Earlier this week, the Ford Motor Company announced that it will stop advertising its Jaguar and Land Rover brands in magazines targeted to the GLBT community. This after having "discussions" with the American Family Association, which had threatend a boycott of Ford products unless they pulled their advertising from these publications. I suppose the AFA doesn't think gays or lesbians should own cars.

Nothing like a corporation stand by its convictions. Seeing Ford cave in to pressure from a neo-conservative organization like that makes ME want to boycott their products, but with that kind of weak leadership, they'll do much more damage to their own company than I ever could.

In a related story, another bastion of right-wing thinking, Focus on the Family, pulled its money out of Wells Fargo bank because the bank had the nerve not to seek their counsel on where money should be donated. Wells Fargo made a $50,000 contribution to the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD). Apparently Focus on the Family doesn't want anyone they do business with standing in the way of gays or lesbians being defamed.

Unlike the leadership at Ford, though, Wells Fargo stood by their actions. "We absolutely made a $50,000 grant to GLAAD, and we're absolutely proud of our support for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community," said Chris Hammond, spokesman for the banking giant, which gives about $2 million a year to gay and lesbian organizations.

Focus on the Family's decision to pull their funds won't ruin a huge bank like Wells Fargo despite their $146 million of income last year, but this is just the latest in a trend of religious orginizations trying to flex their political muscle with economic actions.

I hope that more companies react to these threats in the way that Wells Fargo did. This is becoming an era where some conservative organizations want to dictate the actions of people and groups beyond the scope of their constituency.

Please join me in praying that this effort fails. I pray we continue to enjoy the freedom to follow our own convictions and the leading of the Holy Spirit in our lives, not what someone else tells us we should feel or do.

As reported in the Washington Blade, a church in the DC area has launched a controversial (at least in the GLBT community) television advertising campaign. This news item caught the attention of a member of my church family, Sharone Belt. She sent the following letter to associate pastor Lynn Carter of the church in question, Arlington Assembly of God in Arlington, Virginia. I was moved by her passionate and well-constructed protest to Ms. Carter, and Sharone gave me permission to publish her letter here.

My name is Sharone and I have been a Christian since I was about 6 years old. I have only been a spirit-filled Christian for about 6 years now, but I have seen more growth in my walk in that time than inthe almost 30 years previous! I am also a lesbian.

I read in theWashington Blade this weekend about your television ads. I haven't seen them yet, but the description led me to write to you regarding the ads.I have no doubt that your church feels that you are reaching out to the gay and lesbian community in love. Unfortunately, when that message conveys the idea that being set free from sin also means beingset free from the "homosexual lifestyle", it implys to gays and lesbians that they are less than and that their so-called sin is more heinous that others' sins.

Personally, I have come to terms with my sexuality and believe, from my own study of scripture and the Holy Spirit's leading, that I am totally accepted by God as a lesbian. I am in a covenant relationship with my partner of 12 years. She and I are deacon candidates at our church and actively work to show people in our community that God does have high standards for conduct, but that being gay or lesbian doesn't automatically mean that you are wrong or sinful. There are many gays and lesbians that do sinful acts, just like there are straight people who commit sinful acts, but that's not the same thing.

I think that many Christians have a fundamental misunderstanding when it comes to sexuality. They believe that people are either straight or are perverts. They don't allow for anything else. Well, what if it were the other way around? What if the majority of people were gay and thought you were wrong for being straight? How would you feel?

I love my partner just the same as a man loves his wife. We don't live so different from any straight couples that I know. We just happen to be two women. The Word says that there is neither jew nor greek, man or woman, slave or free in Christ. In my understanding of the Word through the filter of the Holy Spirit, I believe that God would say the same thing about being straight or gay. In the spiritual realm, it doesn't matter what my physical or emotional attractions are. What matters is what I do for the Lord. Wouldn't you agree?

At our church, that's how we feel. We just held our first "straight" wedding of a man and woman and were just as thrilled for them as the church was when my partner and I had our covenant ceremony here 3 years ago. It's about 2 people who love each other and are committed for life to be together and work for theKingdom together.

I know I'm getting long-winded, but I just wanted to express why youm ay get some negativity from the gay community. The bottom line isthat most of us feel that being gay is part of us like being straight is part of you. It's not changeable like a pair of socks. It's not something that needs to be changed to be able to be right with God.That's all I'm trying to get across.

Well, God bless you. I know your hearts are in the right place there at Arlington Assembly. Have a wonderful Christmas season. Remember Colossians 3:12.

Love, in Christ
Sharone Belt

I Don't Understand--And That's Okay

I think one of the primary obstacles society places in the way of people growing closer to God is the emphasis on accumulating information. With the availability of the Internet, 24-hour cable news and satellite radio (a personal favorite), there is an endless stream of information proved to (if not shoved down the throat of) the average person.

This cultural trend makes it more difficult for anything that can not be scientifically proven or logically supported to be accepted by the masses.

Ephesians 3:16-19 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ay have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

There is a lot written in the bible that I don't completely understand. There are a lot of things that have happened in my life that I don't understand. We are not promised all knowledge in our earthly existence. Quite the contrary--the above scripture is but one example of the message God sent telling us that there is plenty we will NOT understand.

The wonderful part of that is knowing that even when portions of the bible confuse us and circumstances in our lives puzzle us, we can know that God loves us beyond our human understanding. That love is the basis for our faith, which is belief in things unseen or not fully understood.

The next time you are baffled by life, try relying on that faith and know how much God loves us instead of trying to rationally figure things out. His plan for us will ALWAYS be better than we come with up on our own.

We may not understand it, and that's okay.

The recent declaration by the Catholic Church banning gay men (even non-practicing ones) from entering their seminaries and becoming priests has drawn a lot of public notice. This has caused people who might not normally evaluate their feelings toward GLBT people to take stock of their views. One such person is columnist Ellen Goodman of the Boston Globe, located in one of the main bastions of Catholocism in the nation (and a diocese up to its neck in the church's sexual abuse scandal).

In a recent column, Goodman address the fact that there is a growing body of evidence that homosexuality is a genetic trait. She also quotes polling data that states the overwhelming majority of people who support that view support gay rights, while a similar number who believe homosexuality is a concious choice oppose them.

Here's the keeper line from a very well balanced and thoughtful column; "All and all, Americans seem reluctant to condemn people for who they simply are." You just don't find intelligent common-sense writing like that in a major newspaper very often. I encourage you to read her entire piece.

Anyone like myself who has been even casually involved with the Catholic Church realizes that, if they go a step further and start removing gay priests, there will be an awful lot of job openings in a church that doesn't have enough clergy to go around even now. Is it any surprise a career path that forbids men to marry would attract a disproportionate number of gay men? Common sense, people--use it.

Who gets hurt here are men willing to commit their lives to God but are now turned away (or removed), and the parisioners who would have been blessed by them.

In The Great Commission, we are called out to serve God and spread his word. The qualification in the Bible is for people to give their heart to Jesus and accept him as Lord and Savior. As man so often does, the Catholic Church filters this through its beliefs and decides who can be allowed to perform this work under their sanction. By limiting the scope of who can serve, isn't the Catholic Church working against what God wrote?

Please join me in prayer that the minds and hearts of the leadership of that organization, and all other religions that restict the involvement of its GLBT members, will be opened to receive God's unfiltered word. I pray that they can accept all people who have given their hearts to Christ as full members to serve in whatever way best utilizes the gifts God blessed them with.

Love: The Greatest Commandment

I'm back from a wonderfully relaxing and renewing honeymoon. Thanks to those who passed along you congratulations and good wishes, Brenda and I sincerely appreciate them.

On our flight back home, I was continuing my study of the Book of Matthew and was struck by this passage from Chapter 21, verses 36-40:

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

It's love, stupid! How often have I been tempted to shout that at some so-called fundamentalist preaching hatred and condemnation. The message in the bible is not always easy to understand, but there are some key points that are very clear. One of those is that love is the fundamental value God wants us to live by. How do I know? Because Jesus told us so. He told us to love God first of all, then love each other as ourselves.

Love each other as we would want to be loved ourselves--the golden rule. How simple it is to understand yet often difficult to put into practice. It's really just as simple as looking at a situation, or evaluating what you are preparing to say, and putting yourself in the position of the person who is on the other side.

What would you want someone to do if roles were reversed in a similar circumstance? What would you want someone to say to you in the same situation? What would Jesus do?

It would be based on his love for us, which he demonstrated during his time on earth and by permitting his own death.

Start with trying to love others as you would want to be loved, and as Jesus loved us. If that foundation is in place, good things will happen in your life and you will be richly blessed.

November 19--A New Start

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how my life changed due to the events of October 11, 2004 and mentioned the people who shared their strength with me when I needed it. Those closest to me, my friends Robin and Brian and their wives Laura and Renee, my brother Michael and my brother-in-law Mike came together to share another life changing event on November 19, 2005.

This time, we were joined by other friends, relatives, and church family at my home church, Believers Covenant Fellowship. Robin and I wore tuxedos and, as the hour of 6:00 PM approached, we stood at the front of the church awaiting the entrance of Brenda. It was her day, after all—we were getting married!

It had been one year, almost exactly to the moment, from the first time I had laid eyes on Brenda, and our wedding was the culmination of a fascinating journey my life took from October 11, 2004 thru November 19, 2005.

Sometimes the best things in life occur when you aren’t seeking them out, and that was never truer than when I met Brenda.

As you can imagine, the weeks immediately following my wife Bette’s passing (see my “October 11” post for that story) were the most difficult of my life. Tears were a big part of my life during those weeks, sometimes spurred by a special song Bette and I shared, other times by a flashing memory. Bette had taught me I could cry and still be a strong man, but she hadn’t shown me how to stop.

There had been a theme to my last few months with Bette. We had referred to changes in our life leading up to our “next chapter.” Indeed they had, but the story had taken a very unwelcome turn.

As I tried to chart the course for the next chapter of my life, the part without my beloved Bette, I gradually resigned myself to being alone. I felt like a star athlete who had retired, deciding that I had now lived the best years of my life. I was determined, however, that I would not turn into a pathetic widower. I would find purpose for my life and not waste all the love and belief that Bette had given me. The best way I could honor her was to keep going, continue putting one foot in front of the other, until I figured out what this new phase of my life was all about.

In late October, Robin and I followed through on plans to attend the Maryland-Florida State football game, my first major event since Bette’s memorial service. It helped getting back out in the world beyond the confines of my cubicle at work or the local sports bar and my nightly steak sub.

I quickly realized that all my close friends were married. They were making every effort to reach out and include me in things, making sure I didn’t withdraw from life, but I knew in the long run I needed to cultivate single friends since I was now single myself. I didn’t seek a romance, but I deeply missed the companionship of a woman.

I decided to take the plunge and register on several personals sites on the Internet, seeking a woman (preferably more than one) who I could meet for dinner, take to a movie, walk around a shopping mall with. When completing my profiles, I was very clear about the fact that I was a recent widower and was just seeking companionship and friendship.

I quickly hooked up with a wonderful lady named Karen. She is a passionate sports fan, so we swapped sports stories and arranged to meet for dinner. The day of that meeting, I stood in front of Bette’s remains and slowly slipped off my wedding ring for the first time—it just didn’t seem right to wear it anymore.

Karen and I really hit it off and time flew by that evening. I had been very nervous about meeting her earlier this day, torn with doubts and anxiety, but most of that had disappeared by the time dinner was served. We made plans to get together again, and I ended that evening emboldened by the feeling that, while I would never fall in love again, I wouldn’t have to be alone either.

I continued to make more contacts over the next few days, spending a lot of my free time in the evenings chatting with ladies over the Internet or exchanging e-mail. The plan was working better than I could have possibly hoped.

Then I ran across Brenda’s profile, and those plans changed forever.

I found Brenda’ profile in November 15 and left a message in her in-box to let her know I was interested in contacting her. Within minutes, that interest was reciprocated, and we began a series of lengthy, deep IM conversations. The next evening, I was chatting with her and another lady at the same time (that’s as adventurous as I ever got) and was struck with the difference in the level of conversation. I found myself already sharing some of my innermost feelings with Brenda, while the other lady was passionately describing her favorite color.

I quickly realized that any relationship with Brenda would not be a casual buddy-buddy one. That was confirmed on November 19, when I met her in front of a restaurant for our first date. We already knew so much about each other, it seemed like a fourth or firth date, and by the time our evening was over, I knew I could fall in love with her.

That weekend Robin and I attended the Ravens-Cowboys game in Baltimore, and while we hung out before kickoff, I told him about how I had spent my last week with Brenda. I asked him if I was crazy, only weeks after losing Bette, to be developing such feelings for another woman. To my relief, he did not indicate I was nuts, at least not for that reason. He encouraged caution, but at the same time urged me to explore the possibilities with Brenda.

The next week was Thanksgiving, and Brian and his family were kind enough to invite me over. I had the same conversation with him after dinner and was delighted to receive a very similar response. The day after Thanksgiving, Brenda and I spoke and professed our love for each other, only eight days after we met. I was overcome with the rush of feelings I never expected to enjoy again. The love and passion I felt for Bette were still close to the surface, which I believe made it easier to express those feelings toward Brenda.

A week later, our relationship passed what she later told me was the acid test—she took me to her church. Brenda had helped start Believers Covenant Fellowship ten years earlier but had taken a sabbatical in recent months. She was ready to end it and see if one of her dreams, being able to worship God with the man she loves, would finally come true. Brenda had been married before, a marriage that lasted 20 years, but her ex-husband had seldom shared the church activities that meant so much to her. She was determined that any man she would have a serious relationship with would be willing to attend church with her.

Over the years, I had drifted away from God. I always acknowledged his place and gave him credit for bringing Bette and me together, but at least subconsciously I blamed him for the struggles we had, the illness and pain Bette endured. We had tried to figure things out on our own and only turned to God when we were in trouble. During her last few months, Bette had discussed that with me and we were ready to find a church home where we could get reconnected with the Holy Spirit. We never did that, but when Brenda invited me to her church, I jumped at the opportunity.

I had never been to a gay-affirming church with a predominantly GLBT membership, which is what BCF is. On my first visit, I saw I was the only straight man there. What was much more important, however, was getting reintroduced to the Holy Spirit. It was a very charismatic congregation, very different from the Catholic masses I had attended in recent years. In a very brief time, I felt the Holy Spirit flow through me stronger than I had in a long, long, time. A lot of churches give lip service to hosting God’s presence, but He really was there, and I was happy to get reacquainted.

The folks at BCF were wonderful. They welcomed me (literally) with open arms, and the education of a straight man began. I quickly found that we could exchange jokes about gays and straights without hurt feelings, and that any question I asked would get answered, even if I really didn’t want to know the answer. Apostle Dale Jarrett, who had known Brenda for 17 years and was her best friend, spent a lot of time talking with me and getting me acclimated to how BCF conducted their worship. Other key members followed suit. Pastor Anita, Sharone, Erica, Ken, Paul, Peggy, Daphne, Linda, Nancy, and Kathy all accepted me and adopted me into the church family.

I proposed to Brenda in February and the wedding planning was begun. In March, I had my first crisis. I fell into a serious depression as the reality of Bette’s loss hit me hard and threatened to consume me. I spiraled downward during a particularly bad weekend and reached out to everyone I could think of to help pull me out of it. Cousin Connie in Illinois stepped up big-time, as she has ever since Bette’s passing. Apostle Dale was also wonderful, and my Brenda was absolutely amazing.

Perhaps the most amazing thing about Brenda is how she managed to be a part of helping me grieve Bette while also building our relationship. Most people in that situation would be terribly threatened, or at least severely put off, by their fiancée crying about their late spouse. Brenda was always there to literally give me a shoulder to cry on and to talk through whatever I was feeling. I also began grief counseling with Tom Golden, who gave me the tools to effectively grieve while being able to move forward with my life.

I commemorated Bette’s birthday in April by visiting the family in Illinois for the first time since her passing. I was deeply touched by their acceptance and joy regarding my relationship and pending marriage to Brenda. I was concerned that they would feel some lessening of my love for Bette because I was able to get remarried so quickly. I needn’t have worried, though. They had seen Bette and me together enough over the years and heard her talk about us enough to never question how deep our love was. They were also happy that the devastated man overwhelmed with despair in October was now one who was embracing life and was full of hope for the future.

In May, I took out the video of mine and Bette’s wedding and watched it with Brenda on what would have been our 12th anniversary. Seeing Bette alive and healthy again was nothing short of traumatic. I wanted to jump through the television screen and be back in 1993 again, with her healthy and the future ahead of us. I wanted to do it all “right” this time and make our lives better than they turned out. It was a long weekend, but with Brenda by my side I got through it.

At this point I realized that it was okay to miss Bette—that I could do that and still love Brenda. I didn’t miss the intimacy I shared with Bette, I had plenty of that with Brenda. I just missed the person who knew me better then anyone ever had. I missed all the history we shared, all the cute things we would say to each other. I missed my best friend, and I realized I always will, but that doesn’t mean I want to go back and relive those days.

Brenda and I had a wonderful summer, taking trips to visit her family in Lynchburg, Virginia, having a vacation week in her favorite place, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I geared up my sportswriting and radio appearances after taking the previous season off and began my Straight, Not Narrow blog. Brenda has been extremely supportive and encouraging and celebrates any little success I have. We both worked to help our church move into our new facility and prepare to expand the ministry once that move is complete.

I counted down the days until October 11th, the one-year anniversary of Bette’s passing. I scheduled my last session with Tom Golden that day and, once I left his office, I felt a great sense of relief, somewhat like I had graduated a year-long course in survival. Not only had I survived, I was thriving.

It was difficult to say this, but my life was actually better in many ways on October 11, 2005 than it was a year earlier. My spirit and soul had been fed by the Holy Spirit like they never had before. My relationship with those closest to me, my brother and brother-in-law, Robin, Brian, had never been better, and I had this wonderful church family that I was now part of. I was in the process of moving into a new job and getting a fresh start in my accounting career, and I was writing more often about more topics than ever before.

The key difference, though, was Brenda. Over 11 years, Bette and I had allowed ourselves to get beat down by financial, career, and health issues. We had gradually withdrawn into our own personal black hole, where the only important thing in our lives was each other. Brenda brought a much different perspective into my life.

One of the first things she shared with me was her desire to help others, and she always demonstrated an instinct of thinking beyond herself. Rather than be jealous of sharing time together with our church family, I welcomed it. We had plenty of quality time to ourselves, but I also found sharing ourselves with others, be it having fun or doing work, only made us stronger as a couple.

With Brenda’s encouragement, I reached out to my old high school friend Steve, who I had a falling out with several years ago. He happily responded to my overture, and I was pleased he and his wife Janice were part of our wedding. Instead of viewing my relationship, and now marriage, as an escape from the world like Bette and I did, Brenda and I embrace the opportunity to be part of trying to make the world better, drawing strength from each other, our church, our friends, but most importantly from God.

As I stood at the altar with my arm outstretched on this November 19, all of this and much more flashed through my mind. My overriding feeling, one which, big surprise, nearly drove me to tears, was one of gratefulness. I had always felt very blessed to have Bette in my life, to have known true love once. To have it happen a second time, and after so short a time following Bette’s passing, well I just felt blessed well beyond anything I could ever deserve.

Besides feeling alone on October 11, 2004, I had lost hope. God reintroduced that into my life when he brought Brenda into it on November 19, to be quickly followed by love, fulfillment, and happiness at a new level. The “next chapter” had become a “sequel”, carrying forward some of the old characters but introducing plenty of new ones that helped it become a much better story than I would have ever written for myself.

As I write this, I am fully convinced I have NOT lived the best years of my life. No, the best is yet to come and will be shared with my wife Brenda. We both thank God for each other daily and look forward to how he will bless us next. Most of all, we have hope, and isn’t that what faith is all about?.

I'm Off to Get Married!

I won't be posting again until early next week because I'm going to get married Saturday. I'll be writing about that and the process that led up to me being blessed with the most amazing woman God ever created next week along with resuming my regular posting.