When I was growing up, I used to hear some friends, some people at work, some people in church, some people on TV and lots of other people... say that homosexuality was wrong and sinful.
Because I knew that I was gay, their negative remarks, jokes and putdowns, seared into my heart and their painful words followed me wherever I went.
A few of them talked about how gay people had to change and be afraid of God like they were afraid of Him, and when I was young, I believed them. So I struggled silently through the years, trying to repent from being GAY, but it never worked. I prayed and prayed and prayed...but nothing. I realized it was impossible for me to be who they thought I should be.
Because I believed that God would only accept me if I changed, I focused on myself and how I was failing, and that went on for many, many years. But after much denial, frustration, exhaustion and stepping away, I decided to follow God anyway, even though I was gay. I hoped He would have mercy on me, and I discovered something: That Jesus was OK with me.
After all this time of listening to these people throughout the years and trying to be like them, I realized, that I was only good at being myself. And I discovered that Jesus did accept me and love me for who I was. They were wrong, and I had listened to them, instead of God.
The only one who actually stood by me was Jesus.
Click here to read the rest of this essay at The Epistle.
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