August 09, 2008

This is NOT from God

From the blog "Rising Up Whole":

A week or so ago over at Beyond Ex-Gay (bXg) we received a feedback comment on our website from Anthony Falzarano (an ex-gay leader and the founder of the anti-gay PFOX organization, shown in a PFOX ad at right) addressed to Darlene Bogle. I forwarded the letter to Darlene.

Yesterday I received this email from Darlene (shared with permission). You can read her story at Beyond Ex-Gay in which she writes about her journey out of Exodus. Part of her story is that her partner of twelve years, Des, passed away from breast cancer in 2005.

Dear Christine!
Thank you for sending the feedback email from Anthony Fazarano addressed to me at the bXg website!

It reads:
Darlene, I'm glad I ran across your blog. I still miss you. I am sorry to hear that your lover died of breast-cancer. Darlene is God sending you a message? Please consider coming back to Exodus. You are loved and missed. Why would God call you back to lesbianism, give you a lover and then take her away. I'm sorry that you are going through this. My heart is breaking right now but I believe that you belong to the Lord and "He chastizes the one's that he loves". I believe He is calling you back. If you want to talk I am here to listen. Please call me at [removed] if you want to talk.

May God Bless You,
Anthony Falzarano

Folks, this is about as unGodly as it gets. God does not "punish" us for our perceived misdeeds by killing off our loved ones! This kind of manipulation and twisting of God's love makes me ill.

Here is an excerpt of Darlene's response:

Apparently he feels that if you follow God, nothing bad will ever happen to you. Des and I had 12 years together and she was a special gift of God to me. I stood at her bedside the night she entered heaven, and saw her sweet smile as she met her Lord face to face. Would God give us 12 years together, then take her to heaven as a judgment? No, but through the life she lived, and that we shared, I came to know His love in deeper ways, and to be a more caring, compassionate and kind human being. I wouldn't change it for any experience. Serving God does not insulate you from death. I think we are all going to keep that appointment that was established by God before we were ever born. (Psalm 139)

Anthony believes God is calling me back? To what? The judgmental teachings of Exodus that say you have to change your orientation to be acceptable to God. Long ago I committed myself to acknowledge God in all my ways and allow Him to direct my path. How can I go where God isn't?

If you want a better understanding of how God can work through a loving same-sex relationship, I urge you to read the rest of Darlene Fogle's response.

Thanks to my friend Peterson Toscano for alerting me to this exchange.


  1. As an Independent Catholic Deacon, I find such messages from so-called Christian groups so troubling. It makes it very difficult for clergy to reach-out to the GLBT community as they have been wounded by so many misguided people in the name of Jesus. It needs to be said again and again: "Jesus delights in exactly who you are: gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and even straight.



  2. At our church, leadership has invested a LOT of effort tryling to clean up the mess that type of message has made in people's lives.

    Yes Don, fortunately God even loves us straight people :)

  3. Don, Jim, and Brenda--

    Thank you for all that you do. It is appreciated and you do make a difference.


  4. I'm so glad that the tide is turning and straight people who are our allies are starting to speak out for GLBT people like me.
    I'm biased since I live with you, Jim, but you rock!