Gay Grandparents Are Coming Out

As society becomes more accepting of GLBT people and each generation understands being gay as normal for some people, it has become easier for gay and lesbian grandparents who have spent many years in the closet to come out to their grandkids and everyone else.

A story from the Philadelphia Inquirer tells us about a few of them:

Back in the mid-1970s, Marian Mitchell was a single mother, a recent divorcee who emerged from the closet only on Saturday nights, heading down to Sneakers, a women's bar at Second and Market.

Once, Mitchell's daughter, then 9, asked, "Why don't you date boys?"

"Because Mommy likes girls," was the reply.

A generation later, Mitchell found herself fielding a new round of questions. "Mom-mom, what does LGBT mean?" her oldest granddaughter asked after seeing the acronym for lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgendered on a sign in Mitchell's kitchen.

But Mitchell no longer keeps her identity cloaked. After her longtime partner died in 1997, Mitchell decided it was time to come out. To everyone - including her grandchildren.
Mitchell, 55, coordinates the calendar for Amazon Country, a women's-music show on WXPN. Each month, members of the Lesbian Group of Montgomery County fill her Juniata living room for Rocky Horror theme parties or competitive puzzle-making nights. Her grandkids - 19-year-old Kimberly, 15-year-old Kayla, and 10-year-old Chaly - almost always join the festivities.

"When I was closeted, it was like living a double life," Mitchell said. "I never imagined being able to live so openly. It's so much easier to just be me."

"Lesbian grandmother" or "gay grandpa" used to sound like a contradiction in terms. But now gay grandfolk are a quietly emerging demographic - men and women who married in the 1960s and '70s, had children, and came out later, sometimes only after their children were grown.

There's still no grandparent equivalent of the children's picture book Heather Has Two Mommies. But a recent novel, Grampa Jack, chronicles a gay grandfather's fight for custody of his 6-year-old grandson. And an online boutique sells kids' T-shirts emblazoned with the words "I love my. . .trailblazing. . .woman-loving. . .out and proud grandma."

"There is a growing number of gay grandparents who are looking for ways to explain to their grandchildren who they are and who they love," said Jennifer Chrisler, executive director of the Family Equality Council.

"It's so much easier to just be me." Boy, that says a mouthful, doesn't it? God bless these people who are showing that it's never too late to enjoy the fullness of how God made them.

Click here to read the rest of the Inquirer story,

NY Times Concurs with State Court Ruling on Same-Sex Marriage

I'm a bit late with this one, but it's too important to ignore. On Friday, a New York State appeals court ruled that the state must recognize same-sex marriages that are valid in other juristictions, including Canada. This would seem to be a huge step toward the state legalizing same-sex marriages performed inside its borders.

Here is an editorial from the New York Times that, like me (but with a tad more weight behind it) applauds this landmark, unanamous ruling:

In a decision at once common-sensical and profound, a New York State
appeals court ruled Friday that same-sex marriages validly performed in other
jurisdictions are entitled to recognition in New York. It was common sense
because it simply accorded same-sex marriages the same legal status as other
marriages. It was profound because of the way it could transform the lives of
gay people.

The plaintiff in the case, Patricia Martinez, a word-processing supervisor
at an upstate college, married her longtime partner, Lisa Ann Golden, in Canada
in 2004. When Ms. Martinez applied for health care benefits for her spouse, the
college denied the application on the grounds that New York did not recognize
the marriage.

The court, by a 5-0 vote, declared that the college was wrong. Employers in
the state must accord same-sex couples the same rights as other couples. To
reach that result, it simply applied New York’s “marriage recognition rule.”
Under this century-old common-law rule, marriages validly contracted out of
state must be accorded respect in New York, and parties to such unions treated
as spouses, regardless of whether the marriage would be allowed in New
York.

The rule applies unless the Legislature explicitly prohibits recognition or
recognition would be abhorrent to public policy. Unlike many states, New York
has not passed a law denying recognition to same-sex marriages performed
elsewhere. The court rightly decided that recognizing same-sex marriages would
not be “abhorrent.”

The ruling is particularly welcome because it follows a regrettable
decision two years ago by New York’s highest court. That decision said that
prohibiting same-sex marriages from being performed in New York does not violate
the State Constitution. Honoring same-sex marriages validly performed out of
state is a wholly separate legal issue, a point that New York’s attorney
general, Andrew Cuomo, usefully underscored in a friend-of-court
brief.

The new decision still leaves considerable work to be done. New York’s ban
on performing same-sex marriage remains in force. And there is a chance that the
marriage-recognition decision will now be appealed.

Still, the ruling marks important progress toward changing laws and
attitudes that deprive gay people of equal rights and deny the dignity of New
York’s many gay families. They should be able to live, marry and raise children
with the same respect and the same rights as anyone else.

More Episcopal Voices Supporting Gay Clergy

The issue of the place and rights of GLBT people in the Episcopal church continues to simmer and threaten to split the church away from its Anglican roots, but that is not stopping leadership from speaking out and supporting their GLBT breathren. The lastest example came in Chicago.

From the Chicago Tribune: (hat tip to the Washington Blade)

Chicago's new Episcopal bishop and the church's national leader sent a clear message Sunday about where they stand on gay clergy, a smoldering issue that threatens to tear apart the denomination.

Wrapping up a five-day tour in honor of Jeffrey Lee, the new Chicago bishop, Katharine Jefferts Schori declared that the American church will not stand alone in its support of gay clergy during an international meeting in July in Lambeth, England.

"Many more [bishops] than you might expect are sympathetic," Jefferts Schori, the presiding Episcopal bishop, told parishioners at St. Nicholas Church in Elk Grove Village. "They are not, however, the loudest voices."

That last point is very important to keep in perspective. The volume of one's voice does not always correspond to their moral authority. I join these Episcopal leaders in believing that is the case in that denomination.

Click here to read the rest of the Chicago Tribune article.

Faith and Same-Sex Marriage

No, it's not an oxymoron. One of the state-wide advocacy groups, Love Makes a Family in Conneclticut, realizes that and is reaching out to solicit the support and help of those faith communities that do have the revelation of God's desire for ALL of his people to enjoy ALL of the blessings he designed for us, including marriage.

Here's a story about that from the Hartfort Courant.

Love Makes a Family, the state's marriage equality organization, has a new job opening for a religious-organizing project coordinator.

The position, funded by a grant from the Gill Foundation, a Colorado-based human rights organization, may come as a surprise to some. An organization some religious types deem satanic — pushing, as it is, for gay marriage — is actually reaching out to religious types itself.

In fact, the marriage equality movement has long had the support of members of a variety of faith groups. The group's list of supporting clergy gets longer every day, and about a year and a half ago, the list evolved into Connecticut Clergy for Marriage Equality.

Marriage equality is not an us-vs.-them situation, at least it shouldn't be among people of faith.

You can read the rest of the Courant's story here.

Another First: A Black, Lesbian, Mayor

Here is a story of how, slowly but surely, at least in local jurisdictions, labels are meaning less and who a person is and what they stand for is meaning more. I find it particularly interesting this happened in the home of one of the world's great centers of higher learning, Harvard University and not some poor, depressed town.

From The Edge (Boston, MA)

As the presidential primaries continue to unfold, nightly newscasts are quick to remind viewers that a major historical precedent may be only months away: There’s never been a stronger chance that voters will elect either the first African-American president or the first female president.

But when it comes to equal opportunity politicking, Mayor E. Denise Simmons can claim one better.

When City Council elections gave Simmons the mayorship of Cambridge, Mass. on January 14, she became America’s first openly gay, female African-American mayor.

"This is what’s great about the City of Cambridge," says Mayor Simmons of the new chapter she has authored in the history books. She sits smiling in her City Hall office, a dignified space that emanates the same characteristic air as the New England City she calls her own: warmth and welcoming combined with aristocratic academia.

Her features are wide and open, her manners gracious and kind, and her eyes crackle with a certain sense of spirit; maybe it’s the focus of a maverick woman who has blazed her own trail, or the energetic ambition of a politician who has not only goals, but the will and willingness to realize them.

"It’s wonderful to be in a high-profile position, and to be in it as you are," says Simmons, emphasizing the last three words to underscore her comfort as an openly gay mayor.

I Speak Out Against the NFL on TV News

In an interesting set of circumstances, I wound up being interviewed by WUSA TV 9 in Washington, DC about the Super Bowl party my church, Believers Covenant Fellowship, is having on Sunday.

First came a story on the front page of today's Washington Post reporting about the National Football League is cracking down on the size of televisions used to watch the Super Bowl at large church gatherings. The league, the wealthiest sports league in the world, announced plans to strictly enforce it's copyright and limit the size of screens displaying a broadcast of the game to 55 inches.

This became a national story last year when the NFL sent a letter to a church in Indianapolis warning them not to follow through on their advertised plans to broadcast the game, featuring their hometown Colts, on a video screen exceeding the 55 inch limit.

Following up on this story, Channel 9NewsNow report Bruce Leshan did a Google search to find a local church still planning on having a Super Bowl party. He ran across the BCF website and the ad I placed on Craig's List advertising our event. Leshan contacted me and, with the blessing of Apostle Dale, I spoke with him on camera in front of the church.

The story appeared on Friday night's 5:00 PM newscast, and the transcript is here. We were thrilled that the signage of our church was very prominently displayed during the story, and that the video clip they use of my interview didn't make me sound stupid.

I had no idea when I woke up this morning that I would be on the 5:00 news, and that it would be a GOOD thing. Leshan did a wonderful job making me feel comfortable and asking good questions, and BCF got positive television exposure we could never have dreamt of paying for.

All because of a silly football game. Isn't God good!