Ex-Gay Leaders Need to Stop Talking and Listen

That's the point of this post by Peterson Toscano. Toscano has first-hand knowledge of the Ex-Gay movement being a survivor of their "counseling." Here are a couple of excerpts from his post:

But the ex-gay movement needs to take an accounting of its activities. They need to sit and listen to the stories of the majority of people who have been through their programs only to come to the understanding that change is not necessary, particularly in the way it was promised.

They need to hear how many of our lives grew worse as a result of our ex-gay experiences. They need to hear about our faith journeys, our loss of faith communities, our doubts of God and God's love and the ways that some of us have been able to reclaim a spiritual life and how many have not.

They need to hear about the healthy lives we have miraculously been able to create for ourselves, the healthy relationships and new direction, the forgiveness we have been able to extend and the freedoms that we have achieved.

They need to stop listening to their own testimonies and start listening to our stories. And when they refuse to do so, they reveal something that they may not even acknowledge to themselves. That at the end of the day, they care more about issues and their constituents than they care for us.

Are ex-gay ministries more interested in sustaining their own existance than actually helping people, especially since they apparently don't do any follow-up or after care? If that's the case, what is the chance that they can actually effect change, even if you take the leap and believe that change is even possible?

How About Keeping Hate Off the Airwaves?

That is the excellent suggestion blogger Eric Williams makes on the Huffington Post as a response to the latest spewing from far-right-wing tool Ann Coulter.

While defending her right to insult/slander anyone or anything she doesn't agree with (see this post from Arianna Huffington for some classic examples), blogger Williams points out that she nor anyone else has a constitutional right to television and radio airtime.

To borrow a phrase from former First Lady Nancy Regan, broadcasters need to "just say no" to anyone spewing venom, from either the right or left wings.

So-called "experts" can express views on either side of an issue without showing hatred toward anyone. Broadcasters should establish that most basic of standards and then hold their guests to it. Too often so-called "news" programs more closely resemble the Jerry Springer show than intelligent debate and only result in further polarizing and dumbing down viewers.

If I want to be entertained by anger and rage, I'll watch some of the old "Celebrity Deathmatch" shows from MTV and see claymation representations of celebrities rip each other's heads off (literally on that program). Beyond that, this nation needs and deserves broadcasters focusing on guests and experts who can offer information and educated opinions without spewing hatred.

We need people like Ann Coulter to be moved off the airwaves and the best-seller lists and become marginalized on the outer fringes where they belong.

Scoring Points Off the Court

Former NBA player John Amaechi, who recently came out as gay and has written a book titled "Man In the Middle" recently participated in a chat at WashingtonPost.com. Here are what I thought were some highlights from the transcript.

I think that while being gay is a significant, important part of me, not knowing I'm gay doesn't shroud the rest of me.

I don't think that Europe and the UK is a utopia, but governmental backing of homophobia doesn't exist in the same way it does in America. As for the white and black communities, I think they have a disconnect that is being manipulated by people for political gain. I think both regional and national elections are being won on the back of trumped up bigotry.

(regarding being in locker rooms and showers with straight men) .....the idea that gay people can't keep their hands or eyes or thoughts off other men, especially straight men, is absurd. It's based on all the worst stereotypes. This is all based on the idea that gay people are predators and cant keep their hands off people. If people can't look back 60 years at separate water fountains and separate bathrooms, then people will never learn from history.

I must admit that I was sceptical about Amaechi's motivations when I heard his announcement coincided with a new book being published. The more I hear of his interviews and his involvement with the Human Rights Campaign, I believe he is sincerely looking beyond himself and trying to help the overall GLBT community.

Is the Religious Right Dead?

Dr. Welton Gaddy, the president of The Interfaith Alliance and host of the Air America radio show "State of Belief," doesn't think so:

People who think the Religious Right is dead had better wake up. These people who see themselves on a mission from God are even smarter than they were in the past and now even more skilled in political strategy. They are not about to give up. To have progressive people celebrating the victory of the Religious Right's demise is to put our constituency right where the Religious Right wants us to be--confident without cause and vulnerable to a surprise that will cause us to say again with regret, "We just didn't see it coming. We weren't ready for them!"

Click here to read his entire essay at Talk To Action.

I couldn't agree with him more. These modern-day religious zealots are like vampires--they just won't die and they certainly won't give up. The best progressives can do is marginalize them so all they produce is annoying, ineffective, background noise when they spew hatred and bigotry.

Reconciling Faith With Homosexuality

That's the topic of this story on the website of Channel 27 television in Madison, Wisconsin (thanks to gay news blog for the tip).

The story reaches the conclusion that this is "a small but growing group of gay Christians-committed to their faith, but ostracized from their church body."

For anyone who might fall into that category, please know this. Anytime you are shunned and/or condemned by a religion or church for being gay, that is NOT of God. Man apparently has as part of our nature the desire to seperate and put down those who are not like ourselves. That is part of our sinful nature that Christ came to earth to save us from.

People hate, God loves those who seek him. Despite what some of the largest religions in the world might tell you, there is always a path to God because He's always there reaching out to us, regardless of whether he made us straight or gay. Just because a church tries to block that path does not mean it is not there.

We all need to seek our own paths to God and not count on others to do it for us. Unfortunately, that has been made much more difficult for many GLBT people. That's why it is so important for us who do believe in God's love for our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters to reach out to them, show them His love, and make ourselves available for teaching, prayer, and worship.

Love Requires Action

That's one of the main points in this post by Peterson Tuscano, a theatrical performer and activist who calls himself an "ex-gay survivor" and travels the country to enlighten people by sharing that experience.

Peterson did just that on a public radio program yesterday, and here's a link to the podcast (it's in the second half of the program).

Why I link to it here is this excerpt from his post:

What I see in the Evangelical church is a lot of Love Inaction. If you really love us queer folks, don't just say it, show it. Faith without works is dead.

Here is an example, for too long many of us white Christian folks (liberal and conservative) have been saying stuff like, "I have nothing against Black people. Some of my best friends are Black. I love Black people" yet we do little to nothing to undo institutional racism that exists in this country as we cash in on the power and privilege we possess as a direct reslut of our skin color. Big deal that we "love" people of color. Folks don't need our declarations of love and harmony, they need equal opportunities for employment, education, housing and safety.

I believe that racism is much more severe in the US than homophobia, but how the people in power view the issues is similar. We look in our hearts and think that if we don't have anything ugly to say, then we are okay, job done, and we can move on and feel good about ourselves. That is not the message I see in the words attributed to Jesus. His Gospel is one of action, of true love in action. Anything short of that is a loud gong or a clanging cymbal.

In other words, talk is cheap. Many from the religious right talk about love while they ignore the needs of GLBT, or even worse actively practice hate.

Jesus not only preached love, He practiced it. Those who seek to be like Him need to follow His example.

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell"--Bad For GLBTs, Bad For the United States

These statistics from the Human Rights Council:

It is estimated that at least 65,000 lesbian, gay and bisexual Americans are currently serving in the U.S. Military.

More than 10,000 servicemenbers have been discharged under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

This policy has cost a minimum of $191 million.

For those of you who aren't familiar with "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," it is the policy of the United States military to not inquire about a soldier's sexual orientation, and a gay soldier is required to keep it a secret. Once the military has evidence that a soldier is gay, they can be, and often are, discharged.

To illustrate the injustice and stupidity of this rule, the HRC sent out this letter from Eric Alva, the first soldier to be wounded in the Iraq. Since his discharge, Alva has made his homosexuality public and aided the cause of repealing DODT in his recent testimony before Congress.

On March 21, 2003, my life changed forever.

Three hours into the Iraq War, I was in charge of 11 U.S. Marines on a logistical convoy when I stepped on an Iraqi landmine outside my Humvee vehicle and became the first American wounded in the Iraq War. The explosion was so powerful it blew me to the ground ten feet away and took off part of my right leg. I can still remember the ringing in my ears from the blast.

I spent months in rehabilitation where I was visited by President Bush, First Lady Laura Bush and former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. I was recognized by the military for my service and received a Purple Heart award. I was also interviewed by several major newspapers and magazines and I made numerous TV appearances, including on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Yet despite all the attention and focus on my life, today is the first time I have publicly talked about my sexuality in relation to my military service.

To be honest, each time I was commended on my courage, I couldn’t help but remember how scared I was that I would be found out as gay and kicked out of the military. I remember the fear I felt when people around me in the military started debating the new “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy even before it became law. Still, my proudest moments during my 13 years in the military came when I would confide in one of my friends about my sexual orientation and they would still treat me with the same respect as before.

Although I’m no longer wearing the uniform of the U.S. Marine Corp, my mission continues to be protecting the rights and freedoms of all Americans. So as I begin my first day as national spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's efforts to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't tell," I'm excited to be joining Rep. Marty Meehan at a Capitol Hill press conference today to reintroduce the Military Readiness Enhancement Act, legislation to repeal this broken and discriminatory policy. I will also join hundreds of HRC members from across the country on Capitol Hill this week to meet with congressional leaders during the Human Rights Campaign lobby day.

Please, take action right now because my sacrifice was for the rights and freedoms of all our citizens and did not exclude GLBT Americans – especially the estimated 65,000 gay, lesbian and bisexual Americans serving in the military who willingly and voluntarily risk their lives for our country.

You can click on this link to send a message to your congressman in support of the Military Readiness Enhancement Act.