Here's some of the news items that impacted the GLBT community this week:
From the Washington Blade, the Obama administration plans to boost domestic AIDS spending in 2010.
Proposition 8 had its day in court on Thursday. The reports indicate that the court seemed to lean toward upholding the validity of the referendum, but leaving marriages legally performed prior to its passage as valid. Here are reports from the San Francisco Chronicle and Time Magazine.
HRC President Joe Solmonese called out Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele in this essay in Politico.
This is a time for a new direction, not more of the same old, same old when it comes to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered America and the Republican Party. Most voters are dead tired of rhetoric that vilifies one group of Americans, or diminishes one family over another, or says to one teenager, “You’re OK” and to another, “You’re not.” And those lines are not drawn by a level of civic participation, scholastic aptitude or family values; they’re drawn by age-old prejudice that has no place in the uncertain world we all live in today.
Chairman Steele would do well to look closer at where America is headed on these issues of family, heart, and basic fairness and to lead his party forward. Hip-hop, after all, is about authenticity, if nothing else. This three steps forward, two steps back approach not only won’t win elections; it won’t win many new party members, either.
On a trip to Brussels, Secretary of State Hilary Clinton spoke out very clearly in support of GLBT rights.
In an answer to a Moldovan gay rights activist who was wearing an 'I Love Hilary' tshirt, she said:
“Human rights is and always will be one of the pillars of our foreign policy. In particular, persecution and discrimination against gays and lesbians is something we take very seriously.
"I can only hope that we all live long enough to see the end to this kind of discriminatory treatment and recognition that human rights are the inalienable rights of every person no matter who that person loves."
Former NLGTF Executive Director Matt Foreman says GLBT advocates need to get more personal.
“I believe that if every LGBT person in California had a heartfelt discussion about Proposition 8 with three people they knew, we would have won,” Foreman said. “The personal is essential to the political. We can’t look to Equality Texas or Equality Maryland to do this for us if we can’t do it for ourselves at home.”
March 07, 2009
March 04, 2009
Finding Jesus
The National Council of Churches issued this disturbing report recently:
The 77th annual edition of the Yearbook of American & Canadian Churches, long a highly regarded chronicler of growth and financial trends of religious institutions, records a slight but startling decline in membership of the nation's largest Christian communions.
Membership in the Roman Catholic Church declined 0.59 percent and the Southern Baptist Convention declined 0.24 percent, according to the 2009 edition of the Yearbook, edited by the National Council of Churches and published by Abingdon.
This year's reported decline raises eyebrows because Catholic and Southern Baptist membership has grown dependably over the years. Now they join virtually every mainline church in reporting a membership decline.
Click here to read the entire report
This report comes out at an interesting time in our ministry, since Brenda and I recently
left our church and are currently unaffiliated.
I have been a member of four churches in my life; two Southern Baptist congregations, one Roman Catholic, and recently an independent Charismatic fellowship. I left the first one when I was ostracized following a divorce, the second when I was fired from employment there, the third out of disinterest, and most recently Brenda and I left BCF due to a difference in the direction of our ministry compared to that of the church leadership.
I offer that information as my credentials to talk about why people leave churches.
People who switch congregations are not the issue, in my opinion, because they are still seeking connection, still seeking a place to worship, still seeking a place to be spiritually fed.
The much bigger problem is the people who leave the church experience completely.
Here's some insight, a quote from the book "Jesus Wants to Save Christians," by Rob Bell and Don Golden:
"A church's authority.....comes from how we've been broken open and poured out, not from how well we've pursued power and lobbied and organized ourselves to triumph. This is why when Christians organize politically and start flexing that muscle, making threats about how they are going to impose their way on others, so many people turn away from Jesus.
Jesus' followers at that point are claiming to be the voice of God, but they are speaking the language of Caesar and using the methods of (the Roman Empire)."
Jesus came to aid the weak and disenfranchised, yet many churches are led by those who seek strength by accumulating power and wealth.
Jesus came to earth as a living sacrifice to die for us, yet many churches ask their members to sacrifice to sustain the church.
Jesus didn't brag about how many people came to hear Him speak, yet many churches measure their success by counting heads in the congregation and/or baptisms they perform.
Jesus never had a home base, never built a facility, yet many churches focus much of their members' energy in obtaining, growing, furnishing, and maintaining buildings.
Jesus reached out to people at the lowest rung of society, yet many churches reject people who aren't dressed "properly", aren't the right color, or who love someone of the same gender.
Jesus kept the focus of His short time on earth toward ministering to those who needed Him and training those who would follow in leadership, yet many churches have most of their focus on sustaining itself and meeting the needs of people already in their congregations at the expense of those outside the walls who truly need love and sustenance.
You can find many churches without any trace of the real Jesus.
You can connect with the real Jesus without stepping foot in a church.
You can find Him in your living room.
You can find Him at a park bench.
You can find Him while breaking bread with other seekers in a restaurant.
Sometimes, you have a better chance of connecting with Jesus beyond the walls of the church.
That's where most of the people He originally came to save can be found.
That's beyond the politics, power struggles, financial concerns, committees, and drama that often take the place of ministry and worship in what should be the Lord's House.
The church is growing in China through a network primarily focused on house churches, small groups meeting in someone's home.
The house church movement is starting to grow in the United States. Groups like DOVE Christian Fellowship International are facilitating that growth.
People are still seeking Jesus.
More people are looking outside the box, namely the walls of the church, to find Him.
Sometimes that can be the purest form of worship, just praising Him without a band, stereo system, and video display.
Simply a small group making a joyful noise because they love the Lord.
Just like they did in the early Church as recorded in the Book of Acts.
Perhaps we should get back to the basics.
If you've been rejected by the church, there are alternatives.
Sometimes something can be so simple, so pure, we completely miss it.
Just because the door of the church has been slammed shut in your face, don't close the door on Jesus.
He's still ready to welcome you with open arms and love you.
Just as you are, right where you are.
The 77th annual edition of the Yearbook of American & Canadian Churches, long a highly regarded chronicler of growth and financial trends of religious institutions, records a slight but startling decline in membership of the nation's largest Christian communions.
Membership in the Roman Catholic Church declined 0.59 percent and the Southern Baptist Convention declined 0.24 percent, according to the 2009 edition of the Yearbook, edited by the National Council of Churches and published by Abingdon.
This year's reported decline raises eyebrows because Catholic and Southern Baptist membership has grown dependably over the years. Now they join virtually every mainline church in reporting a membership decline.
Click here to read the entire report
This report comes out at an interesting time in our ministry, since Brenda and I recently
left our church and are currently unaffiliated.
I have been a member of four churches in my life; two Southern Baptist congregations, one Roman Catholic, and recently an independent Charismatic fellowship. I left the first one when I was ostracized following a divorce, the second when I was fired from employment there, the third out of disinterest, and most recently Brenda and I left BCF due to a difference in the direction of our ministry compared to that of the church leadership.
I offer that information as my credentials to talk about why people leave churches.
People who switch congregations are not the issue, in my opinion, because they are still seeking connection, still seeking a place to worship, still seeking a place to be spiritually fed.
The much bigger problem is the people who leave the church experience completely.
Here's some insight, a quote from the book "Jesus Wants to Save Christians," by Rob Bell and Don Golden:
"A church's authority.....comes from how we've been broken open and poured out, not from how well we've pursued power and lobbied and organized ourselves to triumph. This is why when Christians organize politically and start flexing that muscle, making threats about how they are going to impose their way on others, so many people turn away from Jesus.
Jesus' followers at that point are claiming to be the voice of God, but they are speaking the language of Caesar and using the methods of (the Roman Empire)."
Jesus came to aid the weak and disenfranchised, yet many churches are led by those who seek strength by accumulating power and wealth.
Jesus came to earth as a living sacrifice to die for us, yet many churches ask their members to sacrifice to sustain the church.
Jesus didn't brag about how many people came to hear Him speak, yet many churches measure their success by counting heads in the congregation and/or baptisms they perform.
Jesus never had a home base, never built a facility, yet many churches focus much of their members' energy in obtaining, growing, furnishing, and maintaining buildings.
Jesus reached out to people at the lowest rung of society, yet many churches reject people who aren't dressed "properly", aren't the right color, or who love someone of the same gender.
Jesus kept the focus of His short time on earth toward ministering to those who needed Him and training those who would follow in leadership, yet many churches have most of their focus on sustaining itself and meeting the needs of people already in their congregations at the expense of those outside the walls who truly need love and sustenance.
You can find many churches without any trace of the real Jesus.
You can connect with the real Jesus without stepping foot in a church.
You can find Him in your living room.
You can find Him at a park bench.
You can find Him while breaking bread with other seekers in a restaurant.
Sometimes, you have a better chance of connecting with Jesus beyond the walls of the church.
That's where most of the people He originally came to save can be found.
That's beyond the politics, power struggles, financial concerns, committees, and drama that often take the place of ministry and worship in what should be the Lord's House.
The church is growing in China through a network primarily focused on house churches, small groups meeting in someone's home.
The house church movement is starting to grow in the United States. Groups like DOVE Christian Fellowship International are facilitating that growth.
People are still seeking Jesus.
More people are looking outside the box, namely the walls of the church, to find Him.
Sometimes that can be the purest form of worship, just praising Him without a band, stereo system, and video display.
Simply a small group making a joyful noise because they love the Lord.
Just like they did in the early Church as recorded in the Book of Acts.
Perhaps we should get back to the basics.
If you've been rejected by the church, there are alternatives.
Sometimes something can be so simple, so pure, we completely miss it.
Just because the door of the church has been slammed shut in your face, don't close the door on Jesus.
He's still ready to welcome you with open arms and love you.
Just as you are, right where you are.
Pioneers in GLBT Faith: Rev. Robert W. Wood
From the LGBT Religious Arcihves Network:
Wood was ordained in the Congregational Christian denomination on June 17, 1951 in Fair Haven, Vermont. He served on the staff of Broadway Tabernacle in New York City for two years and then as pastor in Spring Valley, New York, for 11 years; in an inner-city congregation in Newark, New Jersey, for 13 years; and finally in Maynard, Mass. for eight years. During this time, he served six years on the United Church of Christ's Board for Homeland Ministries and another six years on the Board for World Ministries.
Robert engaged Christian attitudes toward homosexuality throughout his ministry. In 1956 he wrote an article entitled "Spiritual Exercises" for a gay physique magazine Grecian Guild, in which his photo in a clerical collar appeared. After meeting Donald Webster Cory, author of the ground-breaking 1951 book The Homosexual in America, Robert started writing a book on Christianity and homosexuality. Christ and the Homosexual was published in 1960 by Vantage Press. Wood's photo appeared on the dust jacket and his congregation was identified in the book. All 5,000 printed copies were sold. A review in ONE magazine said: "Sparkling, intimate, compassionate and well-informed--this book is among other things probably the best and most readable description of gay life currently in print...This is the first book written by a responsible clergyman to welcome homosexuals into the Church without demanding that they give up the practice of homosexuality." Wood was honored with Awards of Merit from the Mattachine Society and The Prosperos that year. In August, 1962, Wood was a featured speaker at the Ninth Annual Conference of the Mattachine Society. He was the only clergy among 18 gay men and 7 lesbians who picketed in front of the Civil Service Building in Washington, D.C. on June 25, 1965, in a protest organized by Frank Kameny.
Click here to read the rest of the profile for Rev. Wood.
Wood was ordained in the Congregational Christian denomination on June 17, 1951 in Fair Haven, Vermont. He served on the staff of Broadway Tabernacle in New York City for two years and then as pastor in Spring Valley, New York, for 11 years; in an inner-city congregation in Newark, New Jersey, for 13 years; and finally in Maynard, Mass. for eight years. During this time, he served six years on the United Church of Christ's Board for Homeland Ministries and another six years on the Board for World Ministries.
Robert engaged Christian attitudes toward homosexuality throughout his ministry. In 1956 he wrote an article entitled "Spiritual Exercises" for a gay physique magazine Grecian Guild, in which his photo in a clerical collar appeared. After meeting Donald Webster Cory, author of the ground-breaking 1951 book The Homosexual in America, Robert started writing a book on Christianity and homosexuality. Christ and the Homosexual was published in 1960 by Vantage Press. Wood's photo appeared on the dust jacket and his congregation was identified in the book. All 5,000 printed copies were sold. A review in ONE magazine said: "Sparkling, intimate, compassionate and well-informed--this book is among other things probably the best and most readable description of gay life currently in print...This is the first book written by a responsible clergyman to welcome homosexuals into the Church without demanding that they give up the practice of homosexuality." Wood was honored with Awards of Merit from the Mattachine Society and The Prosperos that year. In August, 1962, Wood was a featured speaker at the Ninth Annual Conference of the Mattachine Society. He was the only clergy among 18 gay men and 7 lesbians who picketed in front of the Civil Service Building in Washington, D.C. on June 25, 1965, in a protest organized by Frank Kameny.
Click here to read the rest of the profile for Rev. Wood.
March 03, 2009
Advocacy Group: Faith in America
The advocacy organization "Faith in America" sets the bar pretty high with their mission statement--"Ending the Harm Caused by Religious-Based Bigotry."
From their website:
Faith In America's mission is to educate the public about the harm caused when religious beliefs are used to promote and justify prejudice, discrimination and violence toward gay Americans with emphasis on the negative impact on youth. The goal of this education process is to end the advance of religion-based bigotry and prejudice toward gay citizens and to marginalize those groups or individuals who bring that harm to bear on good, decent and law-abiding Americans simply because of sexual orientation.
We have injected a new voice into the national dialogue on full and equal rights for gay Americans. No longer will the Tony Perkins, James Dobsons or Frank Tureks of the world be allowed to justify and promote attitudes of rejection, condemnation and violence with impunity.
No longer should gay and lesbian individuals have to hear themselves called sinners and unworthy by media spokespersons, elected officials, religious leaders, or any advertisements stemming from pro-LGBT initiatives.
It simply no longer can be acceptable or tolerated because of the immense emotional, psychological and spiritual violence it brings to bear on our families and communities, gay and straight.
We will not agree to disagree when it comes to young lives being wrecked.
Making people aware of that harm and helping them understand the pain is of course the reason Mitchell Gold, our founder, in Sept. 08 published the book "CRISIS: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay In America" Crisis." (reviewed at this blog a few weeks ago) It is changing a heart and a mind of someone in America. CRISIS is perhaps the single, most effective educational tool that exists in the public discourse today when it comes to our message.
Almost daily, we receive a personal story from someone who has been impacted by Mitchell Gold's book. It is allowing parents, teachers, counselors, pastors and others to see the true face of the harm caused by religion-based bigotry and in doing so gives them the reason to move away from a position that promotes such harm.
We hope you'll join us in ensuring that more and more Americans in 2009 will come to see that the harm caused by religion-based bigotry and prejudice toward gay and lesbian Americans is indeed one of the greatest moral failures of our day.
Touching on one of my key concerns, Faith in America has demonstrated a willingness and established a track record of collaboration with other GLBT advocacy organizations to fulfill their common missions.
I encourage you to check out their website.
From their website:
Faith In America's mission is to educate the public about the harm caused when religious beliefs are used to promote and justify prejudice, discrimination and violence toward gay Americans with emphasis on the negative impact on youth. The goal of this education process is to end the advance of religion-based bigotry and prejudice toward gay citizens and to marginalize those groups or individuals who bring that harm to bear on good, decent and law-abiding Americans simply because of sexual orientation.
We have injected a new voice into the national dialogue on full and equal rights for gay Americans. No longer will the Tony Perkins, James Dobsons or Frank Tureks of the world be allowed to justify and promote attitudes of rejection, condemnation and violence with impunity.
No longer should gay and lesbian individuals have to hear themselves called sinners and unworthy by media spokespersons, elected officials, religious leaders, or any advertisements stemming from pro-LGBT initiatives.
It simply no longer can be acceptable or tolerated because of the immense emotional, psychological and spiritual violence it brings to bear on our families and communities, gay and straight.
We will not agree to disagree when it comes to young lives being wrecked.
Making people aware of that harm and helping them understand the pain is of course the reason Mitchell Gold, our founder, in Sept. 08 published the book "CRISIS: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay In America" Crisis." (reviewed at this blog a few weeks ago) It is changing a heart and a mind of someone in America. CRISIS is perhaps the single, most effective educational tool that exists in the public discourse today when it comes to our message.
Almost daily, we receive a personal story from someone who has been impacted by Mitchell Gold's book. It is allowing parents, teachers, counselors, pastors and others to see the true face of the harm caused by religion-based bigotry and in doing so gives them the reason to move away from a position that promotes such harm.
We hope you'll join us in ensuring that more and more Americans in 2009 will come to see that the harm caused by religion-based bigotry and prejudice toward gay and lesbian Americans is indeed one of the greatest moral failures of our day.
Touching on one of my key concerns, Faith in America has demonstrated a willingness and established a track record of collaboration with other GLBT advocacy organizations to fulfill their common missions.
I encourage you to check out their website.
March 02, 2009
Are You Straight?
Here is a link, thanks to the Houston Chronicle's religion blog, that asks the question in a way all too many of you may be familiar with.
Don't worry, it's nothing to be ashamed of. After all, God made us that way.
Don't worry, it's nothing to be ashamed of. After all, God made us that way.
March 01, 2009
Sunday Worship 3/1/09
If you don't have a welcoming church near you, or you just can't make yourself step into one, we're bringing worship to you. Here are links to some worship music and services from open and affirming ministries (all times eastern). I hope you are blessed and take time out of your busy schedule to enter into the Lord's day.
Don't forget to click on the tab on the upper right of this blog and leave your prayer requests in the comment section so we can petition the Lord for your needs.
If you know of a service we should add to our list, please send an e-mail and share it with me.
Worship Music--sing along and make a joyful noise unto the Lord!
Beautiful One
Friend of God
I Could Sing of Your Love Forever
Live Worship Services--all times Eastern
Living Water Fellowship, Kenmore, WA 1:30 PM Eastern (also archives of pervious services)
Recent Recorded Worship Services
Rainbow Community Church of Vancouver, BC
Church of the Holy SpiritSong, Fort Lauderdale, FL
Don't forget to click on the tab on the upper right of this blog and leave your prayer requests in the comment section so we can petition the Lord for your needs.
If you know of a service we should add to our list, please send an e-mail and share it with me.
Worship Music--sing along and make a joyful noise unto the Lord!
Beautiful One
Friend of God
I Could Sing of Your Love Forever
Live Worship Services--all times Eastern
Living Water Fellowship, Kenmore, WA 1:30 PM Eastern (also archives of pervious services)
Recent Recorded Worship Services
Rainbow Community Church of Vancouver, BC
Church of the Holy SpiritSong, Fort Lauderdale, FL
February 28, 2009
GLBT News & Political Roundup 3/1/09
In keeping up with some news items specific to the GLBT community so you don't have to:
o James Dobson has resigned as Chairman of the Board of Focus on the Family, but don't rejoice yet, he'll still be on the radio and will be an outspoken opponent of GLBT rights.
o If you think the Republican party will supporting civil unions anytime soon, new RNC Chairman Michael Steele thinks you're crazy. That's not an interpretation or reading between the lines. Click here to listen to him say that on a radio interview. At The Bilerico Project, the initial optimism H. Alexander Robinson had after Steele's appointment has been "quickly and emphatically dashed."
o The NAACP, however, has announced its support for a repeal of California's Proposition 8. "The NAACP's mission is to help create a society where all Americans have equal protection and opportunity under the law," wrote NAACP CEO Benjamin Todd Jealous.
o The Washington Post published a piece about how gay bloggers are growing in their political influence. I'm happy to say that most of the blogs and website mentioned in this article are linked up with this blog.
Just as the liberal Net-roots and the conservative "rightroots" movements have affected traditional party structures, the still relatively small gay political presence online is rebooting the gay rights movement in a decentralized, spontaneous, bottom-up way. It's spreading news via blogs, Facebook and Twitter.
"What happened after Proposition 8 caught the national gay groups completely off guard. I think it surprised them. I think it really showed them that when it comes to harnessing grass-roots energy, they need to get online," says Kevin Naff, editor of the Washington Blade, a gay newspaper. "What happened online came together overnight for little or no money, and the protests were covered by the mainstream press. If national groups wanted to coordinate the kind of mass protests we saw, they would spend $1 million and take six months to do it."
o Speaking of Kevin Naff, he has a very interesting editorial in the Blade titled "The Urge to Merge."
Just as the nation continues a dialogue about what’s worth saving (maybe letting a car company or two go under would inspire survivors to better compete with foreign manufacturers), the gay rights movement should use this moment as an opportunity to regroup, reorganize and, yes, consolidate.
Bottom line: There are too many groups doing too many similar things. That point was underscored last month at HRC’s Out for Equality ball, when Joe Solmonese introduced leaders of the gay rights movement. One by one, the activists filed out, filling the ample stage in the Mayflower Hotel and prompting some attendees to wonder aloud, “Do we really need all these different organizations?”
I wrote here a few weeks ago that we didn't need any more GLBT advocacy organizations. I strongly agree with Naff's point here, maybe we actually need fewer, stronger, more focused ones.
o The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) has released a study showing just how difficult it is for a GLBT minority student in school:
The report found that across all groups, sexual orientation and gender expression were the most common reasons LGBT students of color reported feeling unsafe in school. More than four out of five students, within each racial/ethnic group, reported verbal harassment in school because of sexual orientation and about two-thirds because of gender expression. At least a third of each group reported physical violence in school because of sexual orientation.
o James Dobson has resigned as Chairman of the Board of Focus on the Family, but don't rejoice yet, he'll still be on the radio and will be an outspoken opponent of GLBT rights.
o If you think the Republican party will supporting civil unions anytime soon, new RNC Chairman Michael Steele thinks you're crazy. That's not an interpretation or reading between the lines. Click here to listen to him say that on a radio interview. At The Bilerico Project, the initial optimism H. Alexander Robinson had after Steele's appointment has been "quickly and emphatically dashed."
o The NAACP, however, has announced its support for a repeal of California's Proposition 8. "The NAACP's mission is to help create a society where all Americans have equal protection and opportunity under the law," wrote NAACP CEO Benjamin Todd Jealous.
o The Washington Post published a piece about how gay bloggers are growing in their political influence. I'm happy to say that most of the blogs and website mentioned in this article are linked up with this blog.
Just as the liberal Net-roots and the conservative "rightroots" movements have affected traditional party structures, the still relatively small gay political presence online is rebooting the gay rights movement in a decentralized, spontaneous, bottom-up way. It's spreading news via blogs, Facebook and Twitter.
"What happened after Proposition 8 caught the national gay groups completely off guard. I think it surprised them. I think it really showed them that when it comes to harnessing grass-roots energy, they need to get online," says Kevin Naff, editor of the Washington Blade, a gay newspaper. "What happened online came together overnight for little or no money, and the protests were covered by the mainstream press. If national groups wanted to coordinate the kind of mass protests we saw, they would spend $1 million and take six months to do it."
o Speaking of Kevin Naff, he has a very interesting editorial in the Blade titled "The Urge to Merge."
Just as the nation continues a dialogue about what’s worth saving (maybe letting a car company or two go under would inspire survivors to better compete with foreign manufacturers), the gay rights movement should use this moment as an opportunity to regroup, reorganize and, yes, consolidate.
Bottom line: There are too many groups doing too many similar things. That point was underscored last month at HRC’s Out for Equality ball, when Joe Solmonese introduced leaders of the gay rights movement. One by one, the activists filed out, filling the ample stage in the Mayflower Hotel and prompting some attendees to wonder aloud, “Do we really need all these different organizations?”
I wrote here a few weeks ago that we didn't need any more GLBT advocacy organizations. I strongly agree with Naff's point here, maybe we actually need fewer, stronger, more focused ones.
o The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) has released a study showing just how difficult it is for a GLBT minority student in school:
The report found that across all groups, sexual orientation and gender expression were the most common reasons LGBT students of color reported feeling unsafe in school. More than four out of five students, within each racial/ethnic group, reported verbal harassment in school because of sexual orientation and about two-thirds because of gender expression. At least a third of each group reported physical violence in school because of sexual orientation.
February 26, 2009
Pioneers in LGBT Faith: Rev. Paul Abels
Another new feature we're adding here is a look back at some of the ground-breaking pioneers in GLBT Christian faith, linking to the LGBT Religious Archives Network.
Rev. Paul Abels:
The Rev. Paul Abels (1937-1992) was the first openly gay minister with a congregation in a major Christian denomination in America (from New York Times obituary on 3/14/92). Paul was the pastor of the Washington Square United Methodist Church in New York City from 1973 to 1984. This congregation in Greenwich Village was locally known as the Peace Church for its opposition to the Vietnam War and for its large gay and lesbian membership.
In 1973 Paul was appointed pastor of Washington Square United Methodist Church. While at Washington Square, he initiated a $1.5 million restoration campaign, planned the church's 125th anniversary, and worked with the many community groups housed in the building, including the Harvey Milk School, a parent-run day care center, and many lesbian/gay support and social groups.
On Sunday, November 27, 1977, Abels was featured in a New York Times article entitled "Minister Sponsors Homosexual Rituals." The article told about four "covenant services" that Paul had performed in recent months. And in the article Paul identifies himself as a "homosexual."
Controversy arose throughout the denomination with many critics calling for his removal. Bishop Ralph Ward asked Paul to take a leave of absence. Paul refused and his appointment was upheld by vote of the New York Annual Conference. The bishop then appealed to the Judicial Council, highest court in United Methodism, which ruled in 1979 that Abels was in "good standing" and in "effective relation" and could remain as pastor at Washington Square.
Paul took early retirement from the pastorate in June, 1984, following the vote of the 1984 General Conference of the United Methodist Church to bar the ordination and appointment of "self-avowed, practicing homosexuals."
Click here to read more about Rev. Paul Abels.
Rev. Paul Abels:
The Rev. Paul Abels (1937-1992) was the first openly gay minister with a congregation in a major Christian denomination in America (from New York Times obituary on 3/14/92). Paul was the pastor of the Washington Square United Methodist Church in New York City from 1973 to 1984. This congregation in Greenwich Village was locally known as the Peace Church for its opposition to the Vietnam War and for its large gay and lesbian membership.
In 1973 Paul was appointed pastor of Washington Square United Methodist Church. While at Washington Square, he initiated a $1.5 million restoration campaign, planned the church's 125th anniversary, and worked with the many community groups housed in the building, including the Harvey Milk School, a parent-run day care center, and many lesbian/gay support and social groups.
On Sunday, November 27, 1977, Abels was featured in a New York Times article entitled "Minister Sponsors Homosexual Rituals." The article told about four "covenant services" that Paul had performed in recent months. And in the article Paul identifies himself as a "homosexual."
Controversy arose throughout the denomination with many critics calling for his removal. Bishop Ralph Ward asked Paul to take a leave of absence. Paul refused and his appointment was upheld by vote of the New York Annual Conference. The bishop then appealed to the Judicial Council, highest court in United Methodism, which ruled in 1979 that Abels was in "good standing" and in "effective relation" and could remain as pastor at Washington Square.
Paul took early retirement from the pastorate in June, 1984, following the vote of the 1984 General Conference of the United Methodist Church to bar the ordination and appointment of "self-avowed, practicing homosexuals."
Click here to read more about Rev. Paul Abels.
February 24, 2009
Advocacy Group: NGLTF Institute for Welcoming Resources
Many of you have heard of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, one of the leading national GLBT advocacy organizations in the nation, but you may not be familiar with one of their initiatives, the Institute for Welcoming Resources.
As the name implies, it is a wonderful gathering place for news and resources that deal with concerns of GLBT rights and faith. Currently, they are promoting their new transgender education resource for churches titled "transACTION and updates on protests against Focus on the Family's "Love Won Out" conference in Charlotte, NC.
There are also links to numerous related blogs and websites and also to affirming organizations tied in to major religious denominations.
The Institute for Welcome Resources is a valuable clearing house for anyone interested in matters of faith relating to the GLBT community.
Click here to check it out.
If you know of another advocacy site we should feature, please send an e-mail and let me know about it.
As the name implies, it is a wonderful gathering place for news and resources that deal with concerns of GLBT rights and faith. Currently, they are promoting their new transgender education resource for churches titled "transACTION and updates on protests against Focus on the Family's "Love Won Out" conference in Charlotte, NC.
There are also links to numerous related blogs and websites and also to affirming organizations tied in to major religious denominations.
The Institute for Welcome Resources is a valuable clearing house for anyone interested in matters of faith relating to the GLBT community.
Click here to check it out.
If you know of another advocacy site we should feature, please send an e-mail and let me know about it.
February 23, 2009
Big Night for the GLBT Community at the Oscars
I've heard the Oscars ceremony referred to as "the gay Superbowl." Being a big sports fan, I find that somewhat sacreligious, but assuming that is true, last night was one to remember.
Along with wins for screenwriter Dustin Lance Black and lead actor Sean Penn for the movie "Milk," it was a night of solidarity in the Hollywood community as white knots supporting marriage equality were everywhere.
Let me add my congratulations to Mssrs. Black and Penn and provide some links to highlights of their acceptance, courtesy of Good As You:
Sean Penn's acceptance speech.
Dustin Lance Black's acceptance speech.
Who was wearing white knots?
Along with wins for screenwriter Dustin Lance Black and lead actor Sean Penn for the movie "Milk," it was a night of solidarity in the Hollywood community as white knots supporting marriage equality were everywhere.
Let me add my congratulations to Mssrs. Black and Penn and provide some links to highlights of their acceptance, courtesy of Good As You:
Sean Penn's acceptance speech.
Dustin Lance Black's acceptance speech.
Who was wearing white knots?
February 22, 2009
Can GLBT People Lose Their Salvation?
That question is addressed in an article from "The Epistle" online magazine titled "Am I Really Saved." Here's an excerpt:
We all know the gospel of the Lord and we’ve even witnessed to others of the grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, who died for the sins of the world. But does it apply to us? GLBT Christians? Many of us, still think not.
Well, I have good news for those doubters.Yes Jesus still loves us and we are really still saved. You see, the day you decided to accept the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, you allowed the Lord to cleanse you of your sin. This includes your past, present and future sin. When you accept the Lord, you are born again. Christ has cleansed you with His blood. God’s salvation is not conditional on your behavior. It is Jesus Christ who saves you. Not you saving yourself. Self-salvation is impossible. And just as there’s nothing you can do to save yourself, there’s also nothing you can do to lose the grace that Christ has bestowed unto you. This is why it is called “grace”. And grace doesn’t mean that if you have a bad day and fall into sin, that suddenly you’re off the guest list to Heaven, but then the next day you’re OK with God again. Your salvation doesn’t bounce around like a ping-pong ball. One moment you’re saved, the next hour you’re not, in ten days saved again, but in 6 months unsaved. Saved, unsaved, saved…think about it. Just as you are the son/daughter of your earthly parents…the blood of Christ has made you a child of God. That fact will never change. If salvation were based on our behavior no one could ever be accepted into the Kingdom. And what would be the point of Jesus dying on the cross? Jesus paid the price to free us from the bondage of death & sin. What a great and wonderful gift!
So why do we still fear that we will lose our salvation? Well being gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender, we’ve been told our life is incompatible with the Christian walk. Well it is incompatible, but so is the straight life. You see…no one…GLBT or straight is compatible with God without the forgiveness of Christ that comes through faith. And it is not whether we are gay or straight, but whether or not we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ to deliver us from our sin. There is also a little bit of us that is afraid because we are used to being rejected because of our sexuality. Perhaps you’ve lost the approval of a parent or have been rejected by someone you cared for. Rejection is a fact of life for us and we think that even God will reject us, though the Bible says that “while we were yet sinners Christ died for us”. Regardless of your sexuality…God has accepted you through the blood of Christ. When you can come to accept that the sacrifice of the Lord was done for you once and for all, you can breathe a sigh of relief that you no longer have to feel uncertain of your salvation.
But Jesus said to “Repent”…that means I have to give up being GLBT before I am able to receive God’s grace…Right?By “Repent” Jesus means for us to turn away from our rebellion against God and turn our lives over to Him. And many of us DID try to repent from being GLBT because it was what we thought He wanted…but IF it was what He wanted of us…WHY are we still gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender? Why would God, in all His mighty power, NOT change us from being GLBT especially when we so desperately asked Him to free us?
Many of us did voluntarily give our sexuality over to God, … and what happened? Well …He gave it back to us. And yes He wants us to surrender ourselves for His use. And guess what? God IS using us…as gay, lesbian, bisexual, & transgender Christian men and women to witness the love of God to…who else…other gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender people. You see we are the only people who can reach out to those like us. We are a living witness that despite our sexuality…God still loves us and still offers His plan of salvation: Jesus Christ.How great is the Lord! Love beyond measure is His love for all mankind. And nothing, not even your sexuality, can prevent you from receiving the love and forgiveness of God.
Even if, and I strongly believe this is not that case, homosexuality was inherently sinful, that would not of itself keep anyone out of heaven.
Jesus said in John 3:16 (KJV) For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
GLBT are just as much a part of whosoever as I am, and any fundamentalist that says otherwise is missing one of the basic fundamentals of the Bible.
We all know the gospel of the Lord and we’ve even witnessed to others of the grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, who died for the sins of the world. But does it apply to us? GLBT Christians? Many of us, still think not.
Well, I have good news for those doubters.Yes Jesus still loves us and we are really still saved. You see, the day you decided to accept the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, you allowed the Lord to cleanse you of your sin. This includes your past, present and future sin. When you accept the Lord, you are born again. Christ has cleansed you with His blood. God’s salvation is not conditional on your behavior. It is Jesus Christ who saves you. Not you saving yourself. Self-salvation is impossible. And just as there’s nothing you can do to save yourself, there’s also nothing you can do to lose the grace that Christ has bestowed unto you. This is why it is called “grace”. And grace doesn’t mean that if you have a bad day and fall into sin, that suddenly you’re off the guest list to Heaven, but then the next day you’re OK with God again. Your salvation doesn’t bounce around like a ping-pong ball. One moment you’re saved, the next hour you’re not, in ten days saved again, but in 6 months unsaved. Saved, unsaved, saved…think about it. Just as you are the son/daughter of your earthly parents…the blood of Christ has made you a child of God. That fact will never change. If salvation were based on our behavior no one could ever be accepted into the Kingdom. And what would be the point of Jesus dying on the cross? Jesus paid the price to free us from the bondage of death & sin. What a great and wonderful gift!
So why do we still fear that we will lose our salvation? Well being gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender, we’ve been told our life is incompatible with the Christian walk. Well it is incompatible, but so is the straight life. You see…no one…GLBT or straight is compatible with God without the forgiveness of Christ that comes through faith. And it is not whether we are gay or straight, but whether or not we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ to deliver us from our sin. There is also a little bit of us that is afraid because we are used to being rejected because of our sexuality. Perhaps you’ve lost the approval of a parent or have been rejected by someone you cared for. Rejection is a fact of life for us and we think that even God will reject us, though the Bible says that “while we were yet sinners Christ died for us”. Regardless of your sexuality…God has accepted you through the blood of Christ. When you can come to accept that the sacrifice of the Lord was done for you once and for all, you can breathe a sigh of relief that you no longer have to feel uncertain of your salvation.
But Jesus said to “Repent”…that means I have to give up being GLBT before I am able to receive God’s grace…Right?By “Repent” Jesus means for us to turn away from our rebellion against God and turn our lives over to Him. And many of us DID try to repent from being GLBT because it was what we thought He wanted…but IF it was what He wanted of us…WHY are we still gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender? Why would God, in all His mighty power, NOT change us from being GLBT especially when we so desperately asked Him to free us?
Many of us did voluntarily give our sexuality over to God, … and what happened? Well …He gave it back to us. And yes He wants us to surrender ourselves for His use. And guess what? God IS using us…as gay, lesbian, bisexual, & transgender Christian men and women to witness the love of God to…who else…other gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender people. You see we are the only people who can reach out to those like us. We are a living witness that despite our sexuality…God still loves us and still offers His plan of salvation: Jesus Christ.How great is the Lord! Love beyond measure is His love for all mankind. And nothing, not even your sexuality, can prevent you from receiving the love and forgiveness of God.
Even if, and I strongly believe this is not that case, homosexuality was inherently sinful, that would not of itself keep anyone out of heaven.
Jesus said in John 3:16 (KJV) For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
GLBT are just as much a part of whosoever as I am, and any fundamentalist that says otherwise is missing one of the basic fundamentals of the Bible.
Introducing Sunday Worship
A new feature we're adding to Straight, Not Narrow is online Sunday worship. If you don't have a welcoming church near you, or you just can't make yourself step into one, we'll bring some worship to you. We're linking to some worship music and some live services from open and affirming ministries (all times eastern). I hope you are blessed and take time out of your busy schedule to enter into the Lord's day.
If you know of a service we should add to our list, please send me an e-mail and share it with me.
Worship Music--sing along and make a joyful noise unto the Lord!
Blessed Be Your Name
Lord I Life Your Name on High
Here I Am to Worship
Live Worship Services--all times Eastern
Living Water Fellowship, Kenmore, WA 1:30 PM Eastern (also archives of pervious services)
Recent Recorded Worship Services
Rainbow Community Church of Vancouver, BC
Church of the Holy SpiritSong, Fort Lauderdale, FL
If you know of a service we should add to our list, please send me an e-mail and share it with me.
Worship Music--sing along and make a joyful noise unto the Lord!
Blessed Be Your Name
Lord I Life Your Name on High
Here I Am to Worship
Live Worship Services--all times Eastern
Living Water Fellowship, Kenmore, WA 1:30 PM Eastern (also archives of pervious services)
Recent Recorded Worship Services
Rainbow Community Church of Vancouver, BC
Church of the Holy SpiritSong, Fort Lauderdale, FL
February 20, 2009
Revisiting Forgiveness
Well, back in November of 2007, I wrote a piece on forgiveness and here I am writing about it again. Why, you ask? Because I find myself in the position of resisting forgiveness more than I have in a long time.
I wrote back then about forgiving mostly people that I didn't know or care about. However, I am finding that it's when people you love deeply hurt you that you are truly tested in your ability and willingness to forgive. Forgiving seems a lot easier when it's abstract.
Ah, but the Lord never said it would be easy to forgive, now did He? He also didn't say to only forgive those that don't know any better or those who aren't Christians. He said to forgive everyone.
The people who don't know Jesus completely get a "glazed over" look when you talk about forgiveness. They act like you're crazy to forgive someone for hurting you so badly. They want you to punch the person or slash their tires or something. Heard any good Carrie Underwood songs lately? Actually, if you've heard any amount of Country/Western songs, they seem to have a high proportion of revenge songs!
I guess it's times like these when I have to really look at all that I have been forgiven for. There are so many times I have let God down. So many times I've disappointed Him. He forgives me every time. He forgave me before I was born!!! Now, that's forgiveness. Wow.
It may take me a while to get to a place of total forgiveness for the hurts I've been through, but I am working every day to become a more forgiving person. I may not become all that I want to be in this area until Jesus comes back for me, but I'm certainly going to ask Him to help me to get as close as possible to this goal. It may not make a difference to the people who have hurt me, but it can only make me a happier, healthier person. That will make a difference to people I come into contact with.
Isn't that what matters most? Showing Jesus to a world who doesn't understand Him?
I wrote back then about forgiving mostly people that I didn't know or care about. However, I am finding that it's when people you love deeply hurt you that you are truly tested in your ability and willingness to forgive. Forgiving seems a lot easier when it's abstract.
Ah, but the Lord never said it would be easy to forgive, now did He? He also didn't say to only forgive those that don't know any better or those who aren't Christians. He said to forgive everyone.
The people who don't know Jesus completely get a "glazed over" look when you talk about forgiveness. They act like you're crazy to forgive someone for hurting you so badly. They want you to punch the person or slash their tires or something. Heard any good Carrie Underwood songs lately? Actually, if you've heard any amount of Country/Western songs, they seem to have a high proportion of revenge songs!
I guess it's times like these when I have to really look at all that I have been forgiven for. There are so many times I have let God down. So many times I've disappointed Him. He forgives me every time. He forgave me before I was born!!! Now, that's forgiveness. Wow.
It may take me a while to get to a place of total forgiveness for the hurts I've been through, but I am working every day to become a more forgiving person. I may not become all that I want to be in this area until Jesus comes back for me, but I'm certainly going to ask Him to help me to get as close as possible to this goal. It may not make a difference to the people who have hurt me, but it can only make me a happier, healthier person. That will make a difference to people I come into contact with.
Isn't that what matters most? Showing Jesus to a world who doesn't understand Him?
February 18, 2009
A journey toward more understanding with my parents
When I first came out 15 years ago, my parents were less than helpful. My mother said, "You KNOW what the Bible says!?!". Thus started the journey.
Over the years, my parents have become more and more understanding that this isn't a phase I'm going through. My sexuality isn't a result of their parenting skills. More and more, they have started treating Erica as a member of the family. This is something that I never thought would come to be! While they still maintain that they don't "condone" our relationship, they have begun to love us as parents should do...unconditionally.
Today was a beautiful example of that unconditional love. Recently, Erica and I have had a falling out with our church family of 10 years. It's been painful, to say the least. I phoned my mom yesterday to tell her what was happening and asked for her prayers for the situation. My dad, who doesn't call me often, called me today. He said he just wanted to make sure that I knew that I did nothing wrong and not to be down on myself for the failure of our relationship with the church. This is a gay-predominant church, mind you! My dad could have said that we didn't belong there anyway since they teach that being gay is okay with God. He could have said he hoped that I had come to my senses. He could have said a lot of things that would have hurt me. What he did do, though, was affirm my ability to discern God's best for Erica and me. What a refreshing and loving act! It truly touched me and I'm grateful that God gave me the parents He did. They are one of a kind.
I don't know what Erica and I will be doing as the days pass and we choose what church or fellowship we will be a part of going forward, but I do know that my parents will be supportive of our decision and will be there for us. It's a good feeling.
Over the years, my parents have become more and more understanding that this isn't a phase I'm going through. My sexuality isn't a result of their parenting skills. More and more, they have started treating Erica as a member of the family. This is something that I never thought would come to be! While they still maintain that they don't "condone" our relationship, they have begun to love us as parents should do...unconditionally.
Today was a beautiful example of that unconditional love. Recently, Erica and I have had a falling out with our church family of 10 years. It's been painful, to say the least. I phoned my mom yesterday to tell her what was happening and asked for her prayers for the situation. My dad, who doesn't call me often, called me today. He said he just wanted to make sure that I knew that I did nothing wrong and not to be down on myself for the failure of our relationship with the church. This is a gay-predominant church, mind you! My dad could have said that we didn't belong there anyway since they teach that being gay is okay with God. He could have said he hoped that I had come to my senses. He could have said a lot of things that would have hurt me. What he did do, though, was affirm my ability to discern God's best for Erica and me. What a refreshing and loving act! It truly touched me and I'm grateful that God gave me the parents He did. They are one of a kind.
I don't know what Erica and I will be doing as the days pass and we choose what church or fellowship we will be a part of going forward, but I do know that my parents will be supportive of our decision and will be there for us. It's a good feeling.
February 16, 2009
What Can Be Learned From T.D. Jakes' Son's Arrest?
From the Dallas News:
The son of Bishop T.D. Jakes, pastor of the Potter’s House, faces a charge of indecent exposure related to an incident in a southern Dallas park last month, Dallas police said.
Jermaine Jakes, 29, is accused of exposing himself in front of an undercover Dallas police vice detective at Kiest Park, near West Kiest Boulevard and South Hampton Road, on the night of Jan. 3, police said.
Over at Box Turtle Bulletin, Jim Burroway weighs in with a very thoughtful essay. Here's an excerpt:
Young Jakes grew up in a church that condemns homosexuality, and in a culture which is quite homophobic. People who don’t have the personal freedom to be out often turn to less legitimate outlets for sexual contact. In this case, a public park. The overwhelming majority of people who are picked up in these kinds of sweeps are those who claim to be heterosexual, and most of them are married. They are desperate to conceal their homosexuality, which is why anonymous sex in public parks is so appealing to them. Take away the need to conceal, and the public sex will diminish drastically.This isn’t to excuse what Jermaine did, but it does explain a lot why he and others like him do what he did. I hope he takes this episode as the impetus he needs to break free from his trap. After all, what is there left to conceal now?
This continuing condemnation and rejection is toxic. It entraps people who don’t experience the safety of being true to themselves. As long as that continues, there will be more Jermaines making the news. Jermaine screwed up. He’s responsible for what he did. Nevertheless, I can’t help but feel bad for Jermaine’s humiliation. He’s not only being humiliated locally where this sort of exposure is normally limited, but his humiliation is nationwide. And that national exposure is strictly because of who his father is, and because of the message of exclusion and condemnation his father preaches.
Which is why I don’t feel sorry for T.D. Jakes. Those are his chickens he’s seeing in the morning paper, each and every one of them coming home to roost.
While I do have some sympathy for T.D. Jakes (it hurts to see your son arrested, regardless of how much your actions may have been a factor), I think Jim makes some excellent points. When people are taught that actually living in the life that God gave to them with their sexual orientation is evil, they often aren't going to grow up the most well adjusted people and act out in a destructive manner.
Hopefully both of the Jakes' can learn the importance of a person not denying who they are and finding their place in Christ in the process.
February 15, 2009
Talk About It
One of the best things GLBT can do to gain acceptance is to tell their stories. Some of the best people to do that with are ones we see every day. Don't take my word for it, though. In conjunction with Freedom to Marry Week, here are two essays written by GLBT activists which support that view.
First, here is an excerpt from Scott Davenport, the managing director for Freedom to Marry:
.....every time I met with someone new, I had to establish a relationship – and ideally an open and authentic one at that. What better way than to share what we have in common, and more often than not that was having kids.
However, as soon as I talked to a new team-mate about my children’s latest escapade, he or she would ask about my wife. The first time this happened, I was flummoxed. Somehow it had slipped my mind that the other person didn’t know I was gay. What to do? Well, I think the first time I just hemmed and hawed and adroitly shifted the subject.
I knew, though, that wasn’t what I wanted to do. Instead I developed a patter if asked about my “wife”: “Oh no, I’m not married. I’m gay. My partner and I have been together 17 years and we have two kids – a daughter who’s now in 2nd grade and a son who’s in Kindergarten.”
The first time I tried this, it came out a little shaky. My colleague stopped for a second (while the mental wheels turned in her head!), and then gave me a big smile and said, “Oh that’s great. Wow 17 years – when did you meet?” And then we went on and got to know each other some more. Somehow, that flood of information – and the fact she could make sense of it all – defused what could be a difficult situation. More importantly, she felt pride in her reaction, and I felt good about being authentic.
After a while, it got easier and easier, which also mattered for me, as these situations always seemed to come up when you least expected them. The honesty also meant a new colleague could trust me, and maybe most importantly, by putting a human face on being gay and being a gay parent, I had chipped away at homophobia.
Ultimately that’s the lesson here. Being honest about who we are and telling our stories – even when we least expect to and even in the workplace – builds a connection in people. That connection tears down walls and builds support. It’s also how I know we will ultimately win the freedom to marry.
Here is an excerpt from James Hipps, editor of Gay Agenda:
It is the responsibility of LGBT employees to help their straight colleagues create a more supportive work environment for everyone. There are a number of ways to accomplish this. For one, don’t conceal your personal life. If you speak in a matter- of- fact manor about your life, then others will take that cue and be more comfortable discussing it as well. You don’t have to be overbearing about it, simply repeating the same name during conversation helps people catch on. You can also help break the ice by placing a picture of your partner on your desk. Seeing a photo of someone gives your co-workers permission to talk. Also initiate conversations that will open up to you answering questions about your partner. Ask your co-worker what they and their significant other did over the weekend. When asked in return, take the opportunity to answer openly and honestly. Opening up dialogue always helps to put people at ease.
It’s important for you to remember, what other’s say about you is really none of your business. If a co-worker wants to speak poorly of you, especially because of your sexuality, they will. The best remedy for this is to lead your life so no one will believe them.
If at all possible however, do be out at work. It will ultimately make your life easier and help the LGBT community as a whole gain acceptance and inclusion. Until we are a nation that sees all people as equal, it is up to us to help everyone learn and understand.
As I've written here before, I don't believe anyone can be all that God wants them to if they do not live honestly. Jesus is real and wants His children to be real. I hope these two essays help show GLBT people how to go about that and why it is so important, not just for the indivdual but for the GLBT communtiy as a whole.
First, here is an excerpt from Scott Davenport, the managing director for Freedom to Marry:
.....every time I met with someone new, I had to establish a relationship – and ideally an open and authentic one at that. What better way than to share what we have in common, and more often than not that was having kids.
However, as soon as I talked to a new team-mate about my children’s latest escapade, he or she would ask about my wife. The first time this happened, I was flummoxed. Somehow it had slipped my mind that the other person didn’t know I was gay. What to do? Well, I think the first time I just hemmed and hawed and adroitly shifted the subject.
I knew, though, that wasn’t what I wanted to do. Instead I developed a patter if asked about my “wife”: “Oh no, I’m not married. I’m gay. My partner and I have been together 17 years and we have two kids – a daughter who’s now in 2nd grade and a son who’s in Kindergarten.”
The first time I tried this, it came out a little shaky. My colleague stopped for a second (while the mental wheels turned in her head!), and then gave me a big smile and said, “Oh that’s great. Wow 17 years – when did you meet?” And then we went on and got to know each other some more. Somehow, that flood of information – and the fact she could make sense of it all – defused what could be a difficult situation. More importantly, she felt pride in her reaction, and I felt good about being authentic.
After a while, it got easier and easier, which also mattered for me, as these situations always seemed to come up when you least expected them. The honesty also meant a new colleague could trust me, and maybe most importantly, by putting a human face on being gay and being a gay parent, I had chipped away at homophobia.
Ultimately that’s the lesson here. Being honest about who we are and telling our stories – even when we least expect to and even in the workplace – builds a connection in people. That connection tears down walls and builds support. It’s also how I know we will ultimately win the freedom to marry.
Here is an excerpt from James Hipps, editor of Gay Agenda:
It is the responsibility of LGBT employees to help their straight colleagues create a more supportive work environment for everyone. There are a number of ways to accomplish this. For one, don’t conceal your personal life. If you speak in a matter- of- fact manor about your life, then others will take that cue and be more comfortable discussing it as well. You don’t have to be overbearing about it, simply repeating the same name during conversation helps people catch on. You can also help break the ice by placing a picture of your partner on your desk. Seeing a photo of someone gives your co-workers permission to talk. Also initiate conversations that will open up to you answering questions about your partner. Ask your co-worker what they and their significant other did over the weekend. When asked in return, take the opportunity to answer openly and honestly. Opening up dialogue always helps to put people at ease.
It’s important for you to remember, what other’s say about you is really none of your business. If a co-worker wants to speak poorly of you, especially because of your sexuality, they will. The best remedy for this is to lead your life so no one will believe them.
If at all possible however, do be out at work. It will ultimately make your life easier and help the LGBT community as a whole gain acceptance and inclusion. Until we are a nation that sees all people as equal, it is up to us to help everyone learn and understand.
As I've written here before, I don't believe anyone can be all that God wants them to if they do not live honestly. Jesus is real and wants His children to be real. I hope these two essays help show GLBT people how to go about that and why it is so important, not just for the indivdual but for the GLBT communtiy as a whole.
February 14, 2009
Starting a Seeker-Friendly Small Group
For anyone seeking how to reconcile their faith and sexuality, we are starting a seeker-friendly small group at our home on Friday, February 20 beginning at 7:30 PM. This is an opportunity for people to bring their questions and share in a safe, open, and affirming environment. Snacks will be provided and there will be opportunity for fellowship afterward. At this point, we are planning on meeting every other Friday. Our home is located in Gaithersburg, Maryland. Please contact us by e-mail at straight_notnarrow@yahoo.com for the address and more information.
February 11, 2009
"Where Are You Going?"
No one can take God away from you. Period. No exceptions. Regardless of what anyone tells you, there is no barrier between you and the Lord other than you--once you knock that down, it's down and no one else can put it back up. Being a GLBT person, unlike what many Christians want you to believe, in NOT a barrier. Here is an excerpt from a piece written for Whosoever Magazine by Rev. Vera Borne that relates her experience with that truth:
My life has been steadied by a backbone of faith that has withstood tremendous odds, and this I can attribute to the fact that from the age of four I knew God as a friend, someone to depend on, someone to trust and someone who loved me. The only time I doubted this was in my twenty-fifth year when those in my church informed me that God could never love me while lived a lesbian lifestyle, and would never hear, let alone answer, my prayers. They said I need to turn my back on these sins, marry, and then God would again look favourably on me.It didn't take very long for me to realise no one could take away the relationship I had with God. There were no barriers to the intimacy I knew with God, they existed only in the minds of folk who believed God judged the way they did. If my relationship with God floundered it would be because I had shifted, not because God had moved away from me. Yet, even though this comfortable relationship existed, my soul ached for something more. I questioned those around me, and hammered at God's door for an answer, until I learned that these methods were mine and not God's. When I stopped asking, and began listening, things began to change. Instead of me asking the questions, Jesus presented me with questions that I needed to deal with.
Listening often seems like a lost art, but it is a skill that can greatly enhance our relationship with the Lord. After all, who would you rather listen to, Him or you? Personally, I'd pick Him, and people who know me will tell you I'm not uncomfortable with the sound of my own voice.
Click here to read the rest of the essay at Whosoever Magazine.
February 10, 2009
Internet Radio Appearance Wednesday
That's right, I'll be appearing on "Outlet Radio" tomorrow, an Internet broadcast beginning at 1 PM EST.
I'll be visiting with host Jase Preston-Yocom about what we're doing with this blog and ministering to the GLBT community.
Please join us and listen in tomorrow at 1 PM EST.
Here's the link for Outlet Radio.
I'll be visiting with host Jase Preston-Yocom about what we're doing with this blog and ministering to the GLBT community.
Please join us and listen in tomorrow at 1 PM EST.
Here's the link for Outlet Radio.
February 09, 2009
Correcting the View of American Christianity
I wish I could claim credit for writing this piece, but I at least want to share it with you:
Imagine what would happen if all the Christians in the world became genuine lovers of neighbors. I believe that one of the reasons the contemporary church has not made a greater impact on secular society is that we’ve strayed from the theme laid down by our Lord. We have been influenced by the culture for more than we have influenced culture. We have fought fire with fire; hatred with hatred. We have sometimes exalted ourselves and put others down—often in the name of defending the Truth. We have treated others with disrespect in an effort to convince them that they are wrong and we are right. To many secularists in western society, Christians are seen as a right-wing political party motivated to promote its own agenda while attacking others in the process.
I am not suggesting that Christians refrain from involvement in the political process. As citizens, we should be involved on every level and in every corner of society, but our attitude is to be love. We are to seek the good of others, treating all individuals with dignity and respect, even when we disagree intellectually or politically with their position.
I think the writer's description of the view of Christianity is, sadly, very accurate, and I also think the very basic steps he followed with are the key to changing it, making Christians more effective in leading people to Christ and growing in Him vs. passing ballot initiatives, often ones that restrict civil rights.
The interesting thing about this piece is where I found it, in the most recent edition of "In Touch" magzine, the publication of Dr. Charles Stanley's ministry. Dr. Stanley is clearly NOT accepting of homosexuality, but GLBT people could certainly embrace this excerpt from his magazine if his ministry applied it to them.
The piece was written by Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of "The Five Love Languages" and other faith and relationship books. I was not able to conclusively ascertain where he stood on same-sex relationships, but he is clearly not an open advocate of them. Despite this, his words should resonate with all Christians, and impact how even those who don't accept the rightful place of the GLBT community in God's kingdom.
Carrying a sign and shouting "God hates fags" doesn't even remotely resemble Christ. Neither, I believe, does denying GLBT people full fellowship in His church and full rights in society.
When will people like Dr. Stanley, a learned, gifted preacher of the word of God, move beyond his blind spot and open his arms to accept GLBT people as they are? I wish I knew, but in the interim there are words of wisdom to glean out of his and other ministries who, while they are not affirming, still have a lot to teach us about building and strengthening our relationship with God.
Imagine what would happen if all the Christians in the world became genuine lovers of neighbors. I believe that one of the reasons the contemporary church has not made a greater impact on secular society is that we’ve strayed from the theme laid down by our Lord. We have been influenced by the culture for more than we have influenced culture. We have fought fire with fire; hatred with hatred. We have sometimes exalted ourselves and put others down—often in the name of defending the Truth. We have treated others with disrespect in an effort to convince them that they are wrong and we are right. To many secularists in western society, Christians are seen as a right-wing political party motivated to promote its own agenda while attacking others in the process.
I am not suggesting that Christians refrain from involvement in the political process. As citizens, we should be involved on every level and in every corner of society, but our attitude is to be love. We are to seek the good of others, treating all individuals with dignity and respect, even when we disagree intellectually or politically with their position.
I think the writer's description of the view of Christianity is, sadly, very accurate, and I also think the very basic steps he followed with are the key to changing it, making Christians more effective in leading people to Christ and growing in Him vs. passing ballot initiatives, often ones that restrict civil rights.
The interesting thing about this piece is where I found it, in the most recent edition of "In Touch" magzine, the publication of Dr. Charles Stanley's ministry. Dr. Stanley is clearly NOT accepting of homosexuality, but GLBT people could certainly embrace this excerpt from his magazine if his ministry applied it to them.
The piece was written by Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of "The Five Love Languages" and other faith and relationship books. I was not able to conclusively ascertain where he stood on same-sex relationships, but he is clearly not an open advocate of them. Despite this, his words should resonate with all Christians, and impact how even those who don't accept the rightful place of the GLBT community in God's kingdom.
Carrying a sign and shouting "God hates fags" doesn't even remotely resemble Christ. Neither, I believe, does denying GLBT people full fellowship in His church and full rights in society.
When will people like Dr. Stanley, a learned, gifted preacher of the word of God, move beyond his blind spot and open his arms to accept GLBT people as they are? I wish I knew, but in the interim there are words of wisdom to glean out of his and other ministries who, while they are not affirming, still have a lot to teach us about building and strengthening our relationship with God.
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