As a huge sports fan, I often read about successful athletes who overcame the doubts of others—coaches, fans, even themselves—to realize great achievements. Perhaps the best known example of this is the story of Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest basketball player ever, being cut from his high school team. This helped fuel the determination he needed to develop his God given physical abilities.
Beyond the sports world, I know a group of people who have overcome even greater obstacles than that. These individuals have reached a much less publicized yet infinitely more important goal in their lives—eternal salvation through Jesus Christ. The people I am referring to are the gay and lesbian church members I am privileged to worship with every week.
I’ve been told some of the stories of how they were stung by condemnation from churches they grew up in, the feeling of being shunned by family members, and the public campaigns in churches and the political arena against the GLBT community. Amazingly, they fought through all of that and continued to seek God when it would have been easy to think it was not worth the trouble. Even worse, they could have accepted the rhetoric and believed that God would not accept them as gay or lesbian people. People who think God hates them often wind up hating themselves.
When they kept reaching out for Jesus, they found out something truly wonderful. Jesus was there reaching out for them—AS THEY WERE.
The Religious Right has conspired to make the salvation of homosexuals something they publicize as an oxymoron. According to them, a person can CHOOSE to be either gay/lesbian OR receive salvation through Christ, NOT both. They have also established that the only acceptable path to Christ, in THEIR narrow minds, is to renounce and avoid practicing all homosexual acts.
How then, would these fundamentalists (fundamental in hatred of people not like themselves) explain gay and lesbian people being baptized in the Holy Spirit and receiving the spiritual gift of speaking in tounges? I have seen this with my own eyes in our congreation, and their love and prayers helped lead me to personally receive those gifts in their presence. There weren’t different rules or requirements for me as a straight man--we ALL had to accept Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior.
I am told that over the years naysayers have visited Believer’s Covenant Fellowship and, seeing the manifestation of the Holy Spirit and feeling His presence in the church, slipped out the door never to be heard from again. I suppose those anti-gay fundamentalists went looking for a group they actually had a chance of influencing.
We can engage in debate over the translation and historic context of key scriptures the Religious Right waves around in their persecution of the gay community. Yes, the Word of God is infallible but translations aren’t. Words also have a way of taking on different meanings over centuries. For example, if you watch an old movie and hear the word “gay”, they weren’t even thinking about homosexuals.
Fortunately, I haven’t needed to engage in that debate myself to learn that God loves and accepts LGBT people. I am hardly a biblical scholar. I’ve just needed my own two eyes (four if you count the glasses) and a small dose of common sense. My eyes have seen gay and lesbian people clearly filled with the Holy Spirit, and common sense tells me God wouldn’t fill a person with His Spirit if he was planning on sending them to hell. Duh!
There are some aspects of Christianity that are not particularly easy to accept. By definition, faith is belief in things unseen. Sometimes, though, He makes it easy and puts His truth right out in front of us within easy view. We merely have to be willing to see it.
June 29, 2005
June 23, 2005
The Medical Decision Making Act
The Pastor at my church, Believers Covenant Fellowship, recently wrote a letter to the editor of the Baltimore Sun that, with his permission, I feel is very appropriate to republish here.
The letter was affirming an op-ed piece written by Dan Furmansky, the Executive Director of Equality Maryland, a LGBT civil rights organization. The subject was the veto of The Medical Decision Making Act by Maryland's Governor, republican Robert Erlich. This act, passed by the Maryland State Legislature, would give unmarried couples of any gender combination, the opportunity to register with the state and participate in critical care medical decision making. This is a right only legally married couples and blood relatives currently have. The following is Apostle Dale Jarrett's letter.
Dear Editors,
I am writing to shout my agreement with the Baltimore Sun's recent op-end column written by Dan Furmansky regarding The Medical Decision Making Act and my total disapproval of Gov. Erhlich's decision to veto it.
It is precisely because of the actions and intentions of the religious right and conservative republicans that these kinds of laws are having to be brought forth to be put into effect. In the name of morality, our freedoms and personal rights to make our own life decisions and choices is really what is under attack. This concerns me just like the personal freedoms we are losing everyday in the name of national security. Once taken away, they are hard pressed to get back. This is what people have bled and died to get back, personal freedoms.
I am a Christian and I am an American citizen. My citizenship rights are not granted unto me because of my religion, or because of any religious text be it the Bible, the Kuran, or any other religious text. My rights are solely based upon the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Those rights grant me the priviledge of pursuing life, liberty and happiness....as I choose for my own self. There are boundary lines in place (laws) designed to protect me and everyone who participates in American society. More than ever, I can 'see' the reason why our founding fathers wrote in the separation of church and state clause because they didn't want the state to dictate it's citizen's personal religious beliefs. The state should not intrude on it's citizen's personal religious beliefs so as to make laws that are religiously acceptable to some, but not to others. To me, it is clear that our laws have been influenced by religious law, particularly the 10 Commandments. But the state doesn't promote any particular or specific religious affiliation, doctrine or dogma. THAT IS WHY gay and lesbian (bisexual & transgender) Americans should have every right to make their own decisions as citizens and have those choices be respected and protected against those who would use their religious beliefs to try to keep them from having their promised right to pursue their own life, liberty and happiness. As I have heard said before, it is not about having 'special rights', it's about already established and GIVEN rights being protected, respected and honored.
If this protection is not afforded to this one social/people group within American society, where does that stop in potentially affecting any and every other people group over future issues? Look at the American Indian and all they have been through....segregated, controlled, beaten down, ostracized. Look how women were denied the right to vote for so long, and that changed less than a century ago. Some religions have approved of and allowed slavery, something that the Constitution and Bill of Rights declare to be wrong and forbidden in America. Can't people see the slippery slope we are on and the potential chains being prepared for all of us?
As a follower of Christ, I try to hold on to the Golden Rule (which exists in every religious belief system) and says to us, "Treat others in the way that you would want to be treated." I believe it is important for me to live by my convictions and to live to honor God in all that I do, including how I treat other people who are created in His image. Jesus told us the greatest commandment, "To love God with ALL that I am, and the second is like it, to love EVERYONE ELSE as I love myself."
I want to see America, and Christian America truly treat ALL people the same, regardless of their race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, etc. In that I believe that we would fulfill the great commandment by demonstrating a God of love that loves ALL people regardless of their faults or failures, strengths or weaknesses, adequecies or inadequecies. It's an American ideal, and for it to work, everyone has to have the same rights and protections and everyone has to agree to play by the rules. If the religious right wants to act aggresively and oppresively, it will come back to haunt them for we reap what we sow. Unwittingly, they are sowing in a way that could come back to bite them in the behind regarding their OWN rights and freedoms!
VERY CONCERNED about Maryland, our Country, and our leadership,
Apostle Dale Jarrett
Believers Covenant Fellowship
www.imabeliever.ws
The letter was affirming an op-ed piece written by Dan Furmansky, the Executive Director of Equality Maryland, a LGBT civil rights organization. The subject was the veto of The Medical Decision Making Act by Maryland's Governor, republican Robert Erlich. This act, passed by the Maryland State Legislature, would give unmarried couples of any gender combination, the opportunity to register with the state and participate in critical care medical decision making. This is a right only legally married couples and blood relatives currently have. The following is Apostle Dale Jarrett's letter.
Dear Editors,
I am writing to shout my agreement with the Baltimore Sun's recent op-end column written by Dan Furmansky regarding The Medical Decision Making Act and my total disapproval of Gov. Erhlich's decision to veto it.
It is precisely because of the actions and intentions of the religious right and conservative republicans that these kinds of laws are having to be brought forth to be put into effect. In the name of morality, our freedoms and personal rights to make our own life decisions and choices is really what is under attack. This concerns me just like the personal freedoms we are losing everyday in the name of national security. Once taken away, they are hard pressed to get back. This is what people have bled and died to get back, personal freedoms.
I am a Christian and I am an American citizen. My citizenship rights are not granted unto me because of my religion, or because of any religious text be it the Bible, the Kuran, or any other religious text. My rights are solely based upon the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Those rights grant me the priviledge of pursuing life, liberty and happiness....as I choose for my own self. There are boundary lines in place (laws) designed to protect me and everyone who participates in American society. More than ever, I can 'see' the reason why our founding fathers wrote in the separation of church and state clause because they didn't want the state to dictate it's citizen's personal religious beliefs. The state should not intrude on it's citizen's personal religious beliefs so as to make laws that are religiously acceptable to some, but not to others. To me, it is clear that our laws have been influenced by religious law, particularly the 10 Commandments. But the state doesn't promote any particular or specific religious affiliation, doctrine or dogma. THAT IS WHY gay and lesbian (bisexual & transgender) Americans should have every right to make their own decisions as citizens and have those choices be respected and protected against those who would use their religious beliefs to try to keep them from having their promised right to pursue their own life, liberty and happiness. As I have heard said before, it is not about having 'special rights', it's about already established and GIVEN rights being protected, respected and honored.
If this protection is not afforded to this one social/people group within American society, where does that stop in potentially affecting any and every other people group over future issues? Look at the American Indian and all they have been through....segregated, controlled, beaten down, ostracized. Look how women were denied the right to vote for so long, and that changed less than a century ago. Some religions have approved of and allowed slavery, something that the Constitution and Bill of Rights declare to be wrong and forbidden in America. Can't people see the slippery slope we are on and the potential chains being prepared for all of us?
As a follower of Christ, I try to hold on to the Golden Rule (which exists in every religious belief system) and says to us, "Treat others in the way that you would want to be treated." I believe it is important for me to live by my convictions and to live to honor God in all that I do, including how I treat other people who are created in His image. Jesus told us the greatest commandment, "To love God with ALL that I am, and the second is like it, to love EVERYONE ELSE as I love myself."
I want to see America, and Christian America truly treat ALL people the same, regardless of their race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, etc. In that I believe that we would fulfill the great commandment by demonstrating a God of love that loves ALL people regardless of their faults or failures, strengths or weaknesses, adequecies or inadequecies. It's an American ideal, and for it to work, everyone has to have the same rights and protections and everyone has to agree to play by the rules. If the religious right wants to act aggresively and oppresively, it will come back to haunt them for we reap what we sow. Unwittingly, they are sowing in a way that could come back to bite them in the behind regarding their OWN rights and freedoms!
VERY CONCERNED about Maryland, our Country, and our leadership,
Apostle Dale Jarrett
Believers Covenant Fellowship
www.imabeliever.ws
June 22, 2005
Out and About
There are many rights, written and unwritten, that straight people have which are not enjoyed by the GLBT community. Some of them are related to issues currently under debate in legislatures all over the nation, such as gay marriage. I’ll be writing about those down the road, but right now I want to address something much more subtle.
My fiancée Brenda and I are very affectionate towards each other, and we have no problems showing that in public. We don’t make out in the back row of movie theaters, but we hold hands, put our arms around each other, and are not hesitant to kiss while we are out and about. This is a right I took for granted until recently.
A few months ago, my gay brother and his long-time partner (who I consider my brother-in-law) were visiting us and we dined at a nice restaurant. Brenda and I shared a mushy moment, then naturally turned and kissed each other. My brother-in-law pointed out, “You know, your brother and I can’t do that here.”
By nature, they are not nearly as demonstrative as we are, but that point struck me as unjust nonetheless. Correct, but unjust. If they had shared a moment and turned toward each other to exchange even a peck on the cheek, it doubtlessly would have disturbed at least some of the people in the restaurant. You can usually pick someone out of any crowd that frowns upon public displays of affection regardless of the genders involved, but that number increases exponentially if it is between two men or two women.
I recently tested that point by thinking of how often I have ever seen a gay couple kiss on television, at least on a show not geared toward a GLBT audience. I’m sure I have seen it, but could not recall a single specific occurrence. It’s not all that uncommon to see two men or two women kiss on television anymore, but it is almost always between clearly straight people who are trying to embarrass each other or someone else watching. These situations merely reinforce the message that it is wrong for two people of the same sex to show affection in public.
To be perfectly honest, it has taken me some time to adjust to gay couples in my church calling each other “baby” or “honey” because I have been taught, both directly and through examples in the media, that they should not be doing that.
What a load of crap!
If there is anything this world could use, it is more people openly showing love toward one another. There are small-minded leaders of the Religious Right who preach how we should all love one another, but only so long as it is someone of a sexual orientation that meets with THEIR approval.
During Jesus' time on earth, he constantly came into conflict with the Pharisees, who enforced what they called God’s laws. These laws were actually interpretations THEY had made of God’s words to fit their own desires and beliefs and which they considered inflexible. Does this remind you of any groups in today’s society?
When I see my brother and brother-in-law together, I am filled with joy that they found each other. My brother in particular traveled a very bumpy road to reach the point in his life where he is happy and content. Surely he deserves that at least as much as I do. What would have been wrong with him turning to his partner in that restaurant and planting a big kiss right on the lips?
Absolutely nothing, that’s what. It’s a shame that our society makes it uncomfortable to do so.
You can post your feedback here or e-mail straight_notnarrow@yahoo.com
My fiancée Brenda and I are very affectionate towards each other, and we have no problems showing that in public. We don’t make out in the back row of movie theaters, but we hold hands, put our arms around each other, and are not hesitant to kiss while we are out and about. This is a right I took for granted until recently.
A few months ago, my gay brother and his long-time partner (who I consider my brother-in-law) were visiting us and we dined at a nice restaurant. Brenda and I shared a mushy moment, then naturally turned and kissed each other. My brother-in-law pointed out, “You know, your brother and I can’t do that here.”
By nature, they are not nearly as demonstrative as we are, but that point struck me as unjust nonetheless. Correct, but unjust. If they had shared a moment and turned toward each other to exchange even a peck on the cheek, it doubtlessly would have disturbed at least some of the people in the restaurant. You can usually pick someone out of any crowd that frowns upon public displays of affection regardless of the genders involved, but that number increases exponentially if it is between two men or two women.
I recently tested that point by thinking of how often I have ever seen a gay couple kiss on television, at least on a show not geared toward a GLBT audience. I’m sure I have seen it, but could not recall a single specific occurrence. It’s not all that uncommon to see two men or two women kiss on television anymore, but it is almost always between clearly straight people who are trying to embarrass each other or someone else watching. These situations merely reinforce the message that it is wrong for two people of the same sex to show affection in public.
To be perfectly honest, it has taken me some time to adjust to gay couples in my church calling each other “baby” or “honey” because I have been taught, both directly and through examples in the media, that they should not be doing that.
What a load of crap!
If there is anything this world could use, it is more people openly showing love toward one another. There are small-minded leaders of the Religious Right who preach how we should all love one another, but only so long as it is someone of a sexual orientation that meets with THEIR approval.
During Jesus' time on earth, he constantly came into conflict with the Pharisees, who enforced what they called God’s laws. These laws were actually interpretations THEY had made of God’s words to fit their own desires and beliefs and which they considered inflexible. Does this remind you of any groups in today’s society?
When I see my brother and brother-in-law together, I am filled with joy that they found each other. My brother in particular traveled a very bumpy road to reach the point in his life where he is happy and content. Surely he deserves that at least as much as I do. What would have been wrong with him turning to his partner in that restaurant and planting a big kiss right on the lips?
Absolutely nothing, that’s what. It’s a shame that our society makes it uncomfortable to do so.
You can post your feedback here or e-mail straight_notnarrow@yahoo.com
June 19, 2005
Taking Pride
As a straight man, I never had a burning desire to attend a Gay Pride festival. It turns out, that was my loss. I recently participated in my first event of that type, helping out in a booth my church, Believers Covenant Fellowship, a non-denominational congregation that ministers to GLBT individuals, was running.
As I have found in the relatively short time I have been active in this fellowship, the more I open my mind and heart to new possibilities and opportunities, the more I am blessed. Such was the case again last weekend, at the Washington DC Gay Pride Day, held in the shadow of the U. S. Capitol.
Most of the images I had seen in the media from this event over the years included men dressed in drag or revealing leather outfits, or other members of the gay community who mistook Pride Day for Halloween. As I talked to some of my co-workers in the weeks leading up to this year’s celebration, they confirmed the stereotyping of Gay Pride Day as little more than a freak show. I was even asked more than once what type of "outfit" I planned on wearing. I politely reminded them that I’m a straight man—we don’t wear "outfits."
Early on in the festival, while there were plenty of people available to work at our booth, my fiancée Brenda (one of the founding members of our church) and I had a chance to check out the other exhibits. While there were a couple of booths that wanted to sell lewd t-shirts and videos, there were even more exhibitors representing large mainstream corporations, professional services, and yes, even churches. Like any other festival, there were also plenty of people there to promote political causes or just sell refreshments. Going against what I’m sure my mother would have expected, no one tried to "convert me" into being gay.
Once we returned to our church’s booth, Brenda and I took our turn out front, handing out little stuffed bears and tootsie pops along with information about our fellowship. While I did see some individuals that fit the media image I referred to earlier, they didn’t stand out any more than sports fans that paint their faces and bare chests with their team colors and logos. I was also pleasantly surprised at how many families—husband, wife, and children—I saw strolling along and checking out booths that interested them. How odd that I never seem to catch them in the video highlights of these events.
At one point later in the afternoon, I had a moment of clarity (which are coming more often these days) and realized the single most basic truth of Gay Pride Day. I turned to Brenda and said, "You know, these are all just people. Some are gay, some are straight, but we’re all just people. God made us all and loves us all regardless of our orientation or any label placed on us." This was a point she had reached a long time ago, but rather than make me feel slow, Brenda simply enjoyed being able to share it with me.
The most moving part of the day for me came not long before we closed the booth. A young man with a "Metallica" cap on came up to us and shared his astonishment that a charismatic church like ours existed that would openly welcome the GLBT community. He just couldn’t seem to get over that, sharing how he was a gay Christian but often felt like a man without a nation. He stayed at our booth for quite a while, first talking to Brenda and myself, then moving over to enter a deep discussion with two of our other members.
It was for people like him that our church went to the trouble and expense of setting up a booth at this event. There are so many still in the GLBT community that have been shunned, condemned or worse by their families and/or the Religious Right who don’t realize that God does love them and will embrace them AS THEY ARE if they will accept Him as their Savior.
There are also Christians who don’t judge people based on which gender they prefer to sleep with before welcoming them into fellowship. At Believers’ Covenant Fellowship (http://www.imabeliever.ws/) , I am privileged to worship with a group that practices and preaches this type of inclusion along with the importance of forgiving all those who have hurt us along the way. We also study and learn from the TRUE word of God, not one twisted to suit any political agenda.
That’s what this blog is all about. Please post your comments or send e-mail to straight_notnarrow@yahoo.com.
As I have found in the relatively short time I have been active in this fellowship, the more I open my mind and heart to new possibilities and opportunities, the more I am blessed. Such was the case again last weekend, at the Washington DC Gay Pride Day, held in the shadow of the U. S. Capitol.
Most of the images I had seen in the media from this event over the years included men dressed in drag or revealing leather outfits, or other members of the gay community who mistook Pride Day for Halloween. As I talked to some of my co-workers in the weeks leading up to this year’s celebration, they confirmed the stereotyping of Gay Pride Day as little more than a freak show. I was even asked more than once what type of "outfit" I planned on wearing. I politely reminded them that I’m a straight man—we don’t wear "outfits."
Early on in the festival, while there were plenty of people available to work at our booth, my fiancée Brenda (one of the founding members of our church) and I had a chance to check out the other exhibits. While there were a couple of booths that wanted to sell lewd t-shirts and videos, there were even more exhibitors representing large mainstream corporations, professional services, and yes, even churches. Like any other festival, there were also plenty of people there to promote political causes or just sell refreshments. Going against what I’m sure my mother would have expected, no one tried to "convert me" into being gay.
Once we returned to our church’s booth, Brenda and I took our turn out front, handing out little stuffed bears and tootsie pops along with information about our fellowship. While I did see some individuals that fit the media image I referred to earlier, they didn’t stand out any more than sports fans that paint their faces and bare chests with their team colors and logos. I was also pleasantly surprised at how many families—husband, wife, and children—I saw strolling along and checking out booths that interested them. How odd that I never seem to catch them in the video highlights of these events.
At one point later in the afternoon, I had a moment of clarity (which are coming more often these days) and realized the single most basic truth of Gay Pride Day. I turned to Brenda and said, "You know, these are all just people. Some are gay, some are straight, but we’re all just people. God made us all and loves us all regardless of our orientation or any label placed on us." This was a point she had reached a long time ago, but rather than make me feel slow, Brenda simply enjoyed being able to share it with me.
The most moving part of the day for me came not long before we closed the booth. A young man with a "Metallica" cap on came up to us and shared his astonishment that a charismatic church like ours existed that would openly welcome the GLBT community. He just couldn’t seem to get over that, sharing how he was a gay Christian but often felt like a man without a nation. He stayed at our booth for quite a while, first talking to Brenda and myself, then moving over to enter a deep discussion with two of our other members.
It was for people like him that our church went to the trouble and expense of setting up a booth at this event. There are so many still in the GLBT community that have been shunned, condemned or worse by their families and/or the Religious Right who don’t realize that God does love them and will embrace them AS THEY ARE if they will accept Him as their Savior.
There are also Christians who don’t judge people based on which gender they prefer to sleep with before welcoming them into fellowship. At Believers’ Covenant Fellowship (http://www.imabeliever.ws/) , I am privileged to worship with a group that practices and preaches this type of inclusion along with the importance of forgiving all those who have hurt us along the way. We also study and learn from the TRUE word of God, not one twisted to suit any political agenda.
That’s what this blog is all about. Please post your comments or send e-mail to straight_notnarrow@yahoo.com.
September 07, 1997
Awake
This is the second column written by Kathy Badlock, originally published in "Reno Out" and posted here with her permission:
I woke up in the night crying over a woman I have never met. At 1:45 am when I should have been asleep from a weekend of a ten mile hike, kayaking, late nights visiting with friends and having people over for lunch and yet, another long hike….I was crying over RuthAnn from Wisconsin. My mind was stuck on this 68 year old woman who had PM’ed me at a social networking group I belong to: gaychristian.net. “Will you be my friend, Kathy?” RuthAnn had read some of my postings on this site where I am one of the few straight people who participates. She is a mother of 4, grandmother of 13, teacher, Sunday school leader, quilter, avid reader and, has lived a totally closeted life as a lesbian for 28 years. Each New Year’s Day she tries to rally the courage to tell someone, anyone, that she is gay. She broke the silence to two friends this January.
I try to put myself in her place and imagine holding any secret so large for 28 years. The more you try to cover something in shame, the more it looms and controls your life. What has she missed spinning her energy to guard and protect this secret? What freedoms have I enjoyed for the last 28 years? Every Friday morning for the last 20 years, I have had breakfast with my dearest friends, no thought untold, no secret kept, no places for the shame to ripen. And RuthAnn hides.
I know some of you are totally out and living as colorfully as you choose, but still, you do not have the freedoms that I do as a straight woman. I have many tenets that I believe, many…one is “If you do not hear the cry of the oppressed, perhaps you are part of the oppression.” I hear the cry. And what makes me so wonderful, so acceptable, so able to be free? Is it that when I fall in love, it is a man. Or is it that I go to church every Sunday or maybe that I am a good and faithful friend? The important questions are always sorted through the God-filter in my head. I want answers with content, with heart, answers that have the moss of wisdom on them, that speak of insight and depth.
The daily confidence I walk in can be reduced to two factors; I know that I am loved and I walk in the grace to be who I am and still be loved. If I could give this “knowing” away to anyone I come in contact with, I would. If you read my column last month, you would know that I’m a Jesus-follower. Simply because I breathe, I know that I’m loved by Him. I didn’t do anything to earn that, I can’t do anything to lose that and that is grace. I am not loved because I am not gay or because I am a “good” person or because I do go to church every Sunday. If you are reading this, you qualify for the same “lavishment” (His words) of His grace. T
here are five verses in the Bible that the gay community calls the “clobber” verses. These are the very five chains of bondage, these five steel traps that have been used to attempt to separate the gay community from the God that indeed created them too. I’ve been trying to study these verses in context, in original language, and now in original thinking to try to line them up with the God I know in the other 13,400 verses. How do I balance love and grace with hate and bondage? Do I get the first portion and you get the second, if any is left? I have friend who says being heterosexual isn’t normal, it’s just common. Just because you’re in the 5 to 8 % of the population, doesn’t make you less acceptable than “common” me.
I could, and in all likelihood will, write about those five verses that have been used by society to hold you at bay. I can certainly find five verses in the other 13,400 that I do not adhere to . Ask my 20 year old daughter Sami, she’ll tell how flawed I am. But does that disqualify me from knowing that I am loved by God? No. Fill in your worst character trait here. ________. Nope, sorry still not bad enough.
So why is RuthAnn in Wisconsin reaching out to Reno, to me, to be her friend? I am far away. I am safe. She knows I will accept her. Society has let her know that she is not whole the way she is. You younger readers can’t grasp this; being out is cool in some venues. Have compassion on those who walked before you. You are stepping on a rainbow path paved with their tears, paved with their bravery. RuthAnn has got some of the pieces of the puzzle solid; she knows she is acceptable before God. She is trying to transition that inside wisdom to outside freedom. She is why I do what I do. Parents, society, churches, employers, political parties, old thinking…they have each added links to chains of bondage. The Jesus I know has bolt-cutters in His tool belt and totes around the “jaws of life”. If I can contribute to His snipping in my words and actions, I will. My sweet friend, Myra, said over coffee one day. “Kathy, I don’t like to see you this way, crying over what you feel. You’re my happy friend, my joyful friend.” And that I certainly am. The life of the party, the colorful one, the one who laughs easily. But, I have been given an ear to hear and a voice to speak for your community and to reach into your community. I do hear the cry of the oppressed. I hear RuthAnn. Until next month….. please think about your worth and His grace. Now I am going back to sleep….
I woke up in the night crying over a woman I have never met. At 1:45 am when I should have been asleep from a weekend of a ten mile hike, kayaking, late nights visiting with friends and having people over for lunch and yet, another long hike….I was crying over RuthAnn from Wisconsin. My mind was stuck on this 68 year old woman who had PM’ed me at a social networking group I belong to: gaychristian.net. “Will you be my friend, Kathy?” RuthAnn had read some of my postings on this site where I am one of the few straight people who participates. She is a mother of 4, grandmother of 13, teacher, Sunday school leader, quilter, avid reader and, has lived a totally closeted life as a lesbian for 28 years. Each New Year’s Day she tries to rally the courage to tell someone, anyone, that she is gay. She broke the silence to two friends this January.
I try to put myself in her place and imagine holding any secret so large for 28 years. The more you try to cover something in shame, the more it looms and controls your life. What has she missed spinning her energy to guard and protect this secret? What freedoms have I enjoyed for the last 28 years? Every Friday morning for the last 20 years, I have had breakfast with my dearest friends, no thought untold, no secret kept, no places for the shame to ripen. And RuthAnn hides.
I know some of you are totally out and living as colorfully as you choose, but still, you do not have the freedoms that I do as a straight woman. I have many tenets that I believe, many…one is “If you do not hear the cry of the oppressed, perhaps you are part of the oppression.” I hear the cry. And what makes me so wonderful, so acceptable, so able to be free? Is it that when I fall in love, it is a man. Or is it that I go to church every Sunday or maybe that I am a good and faithful friend? The important questions are always sorted through the God-filter in my head. I want answers with content, with heart, answers that have the moss of wisdom on them, that speak of insight and depth.
The daily confidence I walk in can be reduced to two factors; I know that I am loved and I walk in the grace to be who I am and still be loved. If I could give this “knowing” away to anyone I come in contact with, I would. If you read my column last month, you would know that I’m a Jesus-follower. Simply because I breathe, I know that I’m loved by Him. I didn’t do anything to earn that, I can’t do anything to lose that and that is grace. I am not loved because I am not gay or because I am a “good” person or because I do go to church every Sunday. If you are reading this, you qualify for the same “lavishment” (His words) of His grace. T
here are five verses in the Bible that the gay community calls the “clobber” verses. These are the very five chains of bondage, these five steel traps that have been used to attempt to separate the gay community from the God that indeed created them too. I’ve been trying to study these verses in context, in original language, and now in original thinking to try to line them up with the God I know in the other 13,400 verses. How do I balance love and grace with hate and bondage? Do I get the first portion and you get the second, if any is left? I have friend who says being heterosexual isn’t normal, it’s just common. Just because you’re in the 5 to 8 % of the population, doesn’t make you less acceptable than “common” me.
I could, and in all likelihood will, write about those five verses that have been used by society to hold you at bay. I can certainly find five verses in the other 13,400 that I do not adhere to . Ask my 20 year old daughter Sami, she’ll tell how flawed I am. But does that disqualify me from knowing that I am loved by God? No. Fill in your worst character trait here. ________. Nope, sorry still not bad enough.
So why is RuthAnn in Wisconsin reaching out to Reno, to me, to be her friend? I am far away. I am safe. She knows I will accept her. Society has let her know that she is not whole the way she is. You younger readers can’t grasp this; being out is cool in some venues. Have compassion on those who walked before you. You are stepping on a rainbow path paved with their tears, paved with their bravery. RuthAnn has got some of the pieces of the puzzle solid; she knows she is acceptable before God. She is trying to transition that inside wisdom to outside freedom. She is why I do what I do. Parents, society, churches, employers, political parties, old thinking…they have each added links to chains of bondage. The Jesus I know has bolt-cutters in His tool belt and totes around the “jaws of life”. If I can contribute to His snipping in my words and actions, I will. My sweet friend, Myra, said over coffee one day. “Kathy, I don’t like to see you this way, crying over what you feel. You’re my happy friend, my joyful friend.” And that I certainly am. The life of the party, the colorful one, the one who laughs easily. But, I have been given an ear to hear and a voice to speak for your community and to reach into your community. I do hear the cry of the oppressed. I hear RuthAnn. Until next month….. please think about your worth and His grace. Now I am going back to sleep….
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